


Jekyll & Hyde

by johnnysmitten



Category: The Hobbit (1977), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bard is obsessed with Thran's hair, Bipolar Disorder, Blow Jobs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Drunkenness, Emotions, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Feels, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexy Times, Slow Burn, Slut Shaming, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, maybe if i'm brave enough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-04-05 05:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 67,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4168320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnysmitten/pseuds/johnnysmitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Hospital AU.<br/>Bard Bowman is a recent college graduate working at the gift shop at a hospital where he meets a mysterious patient named Thranduil, who he develops feelings for. Thranduil has struggles of his own that he must overcome but is equally smitten with Bard. Is there a future for them or are there too many obstacles standing in their way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Magazine

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever! I've wanted to write for a while but I only recently found the inspiration. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Hospital, Transphobia (i'll add more as they come up)  
> I will also update the tags as the story progresses. 
> 
> I'd like to thank star_named_andy who is just so amazing and listened to me ramble about this story and gave me the courage and inspiration to actually do this! Thank you so much. You are a sweetheart <3

Bard Bowman commuted for approximately an hour every morning to get to his job at the hospital where he was employed at the gift shop. It was definitely not his aspiration in life, but after college he, like many other graduates, had difficulty finding a position in his chosen field. He knew it certainly was not uncommon for recent college graduates to resort to part-time, minimum wage jobs, so he was not overly hard on himself. This was life after all – the real world, as they called it.

He was glad that he wasn’t working at a fast food joint, for that surely did not interest him. Having to shower before _and_ after work to rid himself of the classic greasy fry smell, no thank you. He was perfectly satisfied working in a much more relaxed environment, where he didn’t have to wait hand and foot on the customers, or deal with any unnecessary drama. All in all, he found that he enjoyed the time he spent at work, happy to meet new people and hear a bit about their lives. Of course, he did encounter the odd customer whose emotions got the best of them; this was a hospital setting after all, and the customers were most likely there to visit loved ones who had fallen ill.

The morning was not off to a good start so far for Bard. He was late at waking up because his alarm decided to be uncooperative (or maybe he just accidentally turned it off in his sleep-daze), he didn’t get a chance to shower seeing as he was already running late, and to top it off, they were all out of milk. Bard liked to start out his day with cereal but today was not going to be that day. He figured he would just take an early break and grab something from the hospital cafeteria. The food wasn’t that bad. And they were lucky enough to have a pretty decent coffee shop, so he would survive.

The air outside was dense and heavy, weighing on his already building anxiety. _Only 8 hours_ he thought. _I can do this. I’ll be fine._ He kept repeating this mantra in his head on the long drive to work, while blasting upbeat music to get himself mentally prepared for his shift.

Luckily, Bard had arrived with a few minutes to spare. He tied his hair back into a half ponytail and punched in. His friend and co-worker, Bilbo Baggins, was already there, having started a few hours before Bard. Bilbo looked cheery as usual, flashing a big smile in Bard’s direction when he saw him. The two talked for a bit before Bard actually started doing any real work. To be honest, there was really not all that much to do at the gift shop anyway. Tending to customers, stocking shelves and cleaning up were pretty much the only tasks that the employees had to worry about.

By noon it was still fairly slow at the gift shop, so while Bilbo handled the cash register, Bard was stocking the magazine shelf. He did so slowly, prolonging the task, doing anything to help the day go by a bit quicker. Waste a little time, no big deal. His focus was solely on grabbing a stack of the magazines from the boxes placed on the floor in front of him and arranging them neatly in the empty slots of the shelves. It was then that something, or rather _someone_ , caught his attention.

Bard whipped his head up in a bit too obvious of a manner to get a better look at what he could swear was Heaven’s greatest creation.

Holy fucking shit.

A tall young man, with long silvery blonde hair that cascaded down over his shoulders, and the longest legs Bard had ever seen, had just bounced into the gift shop. He was wearing a flimsy hospital gown with a loose cardigan thrown over his shoulders. Bard immediately looked back to what he was doing as to not draw attention to his awe-struck expression. He fumbled a bit with getting the magazines out of the box and desperately wanted to look up to get another glimpse of the gorgeous blonde _. Be cool, Bard,_ he told himself, _do not be a creep._

“You got a cigarette?” asked a beautifully deep lulling voice. Huh? Bard was pulled back to reality upon noticing it was the blonde who spoke to him.

“Bard...Do you have a cigarette I could borrow?” he asked again, a little more gravel in his voice this time around.

_Uh...how does he know my name?_ Bard thought. _Oh, right, name tag. I’m at work_ , he reminded himself. Bard hesitated as the most stunning set of pale blue eyes stared straight into his soul. _Say something, you fool._

“Well, it wouldn’t really be borrowing, now would it?” Bard joked lamely, as the blonde continued staring at him with an inquisitive expression. “You know, since borrowing technically means giving something back and you, uh, can’t really give back a cigarette once it’s smoked, since, you know, it’s gone...” He chuckled nervously, trying not to humiliate himself any further. _Oh god! What is my brain doing?!_ “But, uh, no, sorry,” Bard stammered, “I don’t smoke.”

The blonde blinked slowly all while never taking his eyes off Bard, as if he was transfixed. A smirk eventually came to play on his lips and his words now took on a more seductive tone. “Such a tease,” he said while shaking a finger in Bard’s face, “Making me think you’d be of help.”

Just then, a dark-haired middle aged woman showed up behind them, signaling to the blonde man. She rolled her eyes and let out a deep exhale before speaking.

“Thranduil, leave this poor man alone. Can’t you see he’s trying to work?” She shook her head as she put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry” she said softly to Bard. Bard could only shrug indicating that it was not a problem. He was used to dealing with people and this blonde, Thranduil, apparently, was not bothering him at all. In fact, he was a pleasant distraction.

“Ugh, Trace, I was just seeing if he had a smoke. I’m _dying_!” Thranduil exclaimed overdramatically while flailing his arms around. What a beautiful human being, Bard thought as he stood there, unsure of what to do. He suddenly felt like he was trapped in their conversation, as if somehow he was a part of it, and had no idea how to extricate himself from this situation.

“You’re on the patch, you’ll survive.” The dark-haired woman replied to Thranduil with a hint of amusement stringing through her words.

“But you know it’s not the same, not at all.” Thranduil shot a snarky look at her, and continued. “I need something. In. My. Mouth.” He annunciated each word before tilting his head down and looking up through his lashes at Bard, his lips curving upward into a mischievous grin. Bard instantly felt his cheeks heating up so he quickly looked to the ground in an attempt to hide his apparent blush.

_Oh my God._

Bard could feel his head spinning as his thoughts ended up in the gutter. He awkwardly turned back to rearranging the magazines, hoping he could just disappear, but at the same time, never wanting to let this blonde, Thranduil, out of his sight.

“Ok, well...let me have...a REDBULL!” Thranduil practically beamed as he spoke the words. He was fidgeting with the hem of his cardigan and swaying back and forth, looking a little too excited for someone who was in the hospital.

The woman who was accompanying him rolled her eyes at him again, as if it was an automatic response. “Thranduil, you do not need a redbull, you have enough energy as it is, and you’ll be given smoke breaks soon enough. Now _please_ just get a magazine so we can go back.”

“Fine then.” The blonde uttered under his breath as something else caught his eye and he took off in another direction. The dark-haired woman gave Bard an exasperated look and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to him. “It’s not a problem” Bard replied once Thranduil was out of earshot. “He seems sweet.”

The woman chuckled lightly, “Oh, yeah he is sweet alright, enough to give you a toothache. “ Bard laughed with her. He suddenly felt something inside of himself telling him to find out more about this beautiful young man. Why was he at the hospital? Was he going to be alright? Was he terminally ill? When would he get out? Did he have a phone number Bard could reach him at? Was he single?

Bard felt like a bit of an idiot for thinking all of these personal questions about someone who was literally a stranger and would probably remain so for the rest of eternity. But it was okay to fantasize. They were just thoughts after all, and thoughts never hurt anyone. It had been a few years since Bard had been in a serious relationship. And since he had been in college, dating had never been a priority. He figured it would only be a distraction anyway, so why bother. But now that he was out of school, his mind began to take interest again, usually at the worst possible times, with zero potential of it becoming a reality. Bard was getting too comfortable in his fantasy world, and he knew that. He recognized this fact and desperately wanted to change it. He had to step outside of his comfort zone, push himself a little bit in order to meet new people. But, today would not be the day. Or would it?

Bard was pulled from his reverie as Thranduil bounded back over to where he and the dark-haired woman were standing at the magazine rack. The blonde sported an extremely devilish smirk as he hovered over the woman, while holding a big bottle of pink hand sanitizer.

“Watermelon scented hand sanitizer” He announced, “I’ll be needing this!”

“You don’t need hand sanitizer.” She replied without looking up at him.

“What? Oh, right. I’m totally going to drink it.” He said, voice heavy with sarcasm.

“Oh, please, there are dispensers on the wall.” She stated matter-of-factly, without so much as glancing up from the magazine she was now looking at. “How about this one?” She held up the magazine for the blonde to see, pointing at the cover and giving a slight nod.

“OH!” He shrieked in a high pitched sound, as the woman shushed him. “It’s Caitlyn Jenner; she’s my spirit animal, you know.”

Bard felt himself smile a little at Thranduil’s enthusiasm. It really was nice to see someone so excited about something. Not to mention the fact that a smile really did look lovely on the blonde. But it was then that a bald man in a business suit tore that beautiful expression off of Thranduil’s face.

“Oh, Jesus, Bruce Jenner is disgusting. What is the world coming to?” the bald man grumbled under his breath, but still loud enough as to be heard.

Immediately Bard felt a blanket of tension rising in the air around them as Thranduil growled and his dark-haired companion left out a huff. “Oh, lord” she said to herself.

“ARE. YOU. _FUCKING_. KIDDING. ME?!” The blonde spat out the words one syllable at a time, in a much louder tone than was appropriate in a public setting such as this. His eyes widened as he began to breathe in irregular gasps. The hand sanitizer he was holding was abruptly dropped and he took a step towards the bald business man, while the woman put her arm up in an effort stop him in his tracks. “Don’t, please.” she whispered to him, voice sounding sincere and understanding.

The bald man was quick to become defensive, throwing a disgruntled look to the woman, hoping she would be able to handle the situation. Thranduil pushed her arm out of the way until he was standing right in front of the man whose face had now taken on a mask of irritation. The blonde let out a groan and inhaled a sharp breath of air.

“The fuck is wrong with you?! It’s people like you that make this society such a shit place to live!” Thranduil shouted; his voice breaking as he said the words.

“It’s an opinion, everyone has one, learn to deal with it. Bruce Jenner is a man, and he’s just looking for attention. That’s my opinion.” The bald man retorted.

“That’s not an opinion, it is a fucking lie! And it’s Caitlyn, and she’s not a he, she’s a she! So, why don’t you just go ahead and keep your close minded opinions to yourself! No one fucking cares!” Thranduil shot back, the words sounding like poison spewing from his lips. He was being held back by the dark-haired woman’s arms as to not get any closer to the bald man.

Bard looked over towards Bilbo, who was still behind the cash, and shrugged meekly, unsure of what to do. At least the day wasn’t boring anymore. Although, Bard knew he would have to take action and actually do something if this didn’t dissipate soon; customers were beginning to watch the exchange.

The bald man took a step backwards trying to make his way to the exit but Thranduil blocked his way out. “Are you mentally insane?” he said to the blondes face, clearly pushed to his limit at this point.

Those words caused the young man to grit his teeth together while drawing in a deep breath before exhaling loudly. Behind his mask of anger and rage, tears were on the verge of spilling down onto his now rosy cheeks. It was then that the woman had stepped in between the two of them. She motioned with her hand for the bald man to leave and put her other hand on Thranduil’s arm in an attempt to calm him. The business man turned and began to walk away while shaking his head, mumbling “fucking insanity”.

“FUCK YOU!” the blonde yelled as he was being pushed back by his companion. As soon as the bald man was gone out of the gift shop, Thranduil slid out of the woman’s grasp and plopped down into a heap on the floor and began to cry.

Bard wanted to be of help but he stood stock-still, unable to move or even comprehend what had just taken place. The dark-haired lady kept apologizing to him for the disturbance, but Bard was more concerned about the blonde who was now getting up from his place on the floor, tears turning to something more violent. Bard wanted to comfort him, to ask him if he was okay, but this was not the time or the place for such considerations. This was his place of work, and the magazines would not stock themselves.

Rage was emanating from Thranduil, still unable to calm himself down. The dark-haired woman spoke hushed words to him as he struggled to push her out of his personal space. He clearly wanted to be left alone. Finally, he had just had enough of trying to be reasoned with. He picked up the hand sanitizer that he had previously let fall to the floor, and without warning, threw it against the magazine rack. The bottle broke and liquid flew in all directions. Bard’s eyes shot open, realizing that he couldn’t let this behaviour go on anymore. It didn’t matter how attractive this young man was, it was frightening his other customers, so he needed to resolve it.

Thankfully it didn’t come to that. The blonde was now rushing out of the gift shop into the main entrance of the hospital with his companion following close behind, whispering her apologizes to Bard as she left.

Bard let out the breath he had been holding and walked over to Bilbo who was dusting the little porcelain kitten trinkets on a shelf by the cash.

“Bard Bowman! What in the name of all that is holy! What was _that_?!” Bilbo exclaimed, looking at the brunette with a shocked expression painted on his cherub-like face.

“What was what? You saw it.” Bard replied nonchalantly, as though the situation didn’t warrant such a reaction from his friend.

“That guy lost his marbles!” Bilbo said, referring to the blonde.

“Well, he had reason to, that other man was so ignorant. It was completely uncalled for!” Bard stated with a little too much zeal.

Bilbo knowingly looked at Bard and a smile began to form on his lips before he let out a small giggle. “Oh, Bard, I _knew it_ , I knew it from the moment that blonde walked in.”

“Knew _what_?!” Bard asked, shocked that Bilbo would draw such a conclusion. Though, he already knew what Bilbo was going to say.

“That you think he’s hot and wish you could’ve gotten his number!” Bilbo scoffed.

“Am I that obvious?” Bard questioned with a bashful smile. He looked down but couldn’t hide the blush that was forming on his cheeks.

“The fact that you’re blushing right now just thinking about him says it all, really.” Bilbo replied.

“Not as bad as you are whenever that janitor comes around!” Bard laughed, remembering the last time the janitor had come by to collect their garbage and the bright red shade that Bilbo had become.

“Custodial Engineer, Bard. Get it right.” Bilbo teased, clearly becoming a little flustered at the mention of his crush.

The remainder of the day went on like this with light banter and plenty of good natured teasing between Bard and Bilbo. Before Bard knew it his shift was coming to an end and he could finally head home. The drive was long seeing as it was the middle of rush hour, but he didn’t mind so much. It gave him a chance to think and sort his thoughts. He put in a classical CD and reflected on the events of the day.

Bard felt a strange feeling deep within his chest, a feeling he hadn’t felt in a very, _very_ long time. It was as if his soul was being reawakened. He knew that with just one meeting he had become enamoured by the attractive flaxen haired young man named Thranduil. He didn’t even know anything about him, other than the fact that he was physically gorgeous and had a charmingly passionate spirit. Bard found he was able to disregard the blonde’s emotional outburst, telling himself that it probably only occurred because he was on edge from being in the hospital for whatever reason and had been easily set off by that ignorant man. In fact, Bard was attracted to the stand the blonde had taken to defend what mattered most to him. It was truly admirable how he spoke his mind despite the way he was being treated.

Bard wanted to see him again, wanted to get to know him. When he closed his eyes all he could see was that alabaster skin and silken blonde hair, as though it burned a hole into his memory. He knew he was probably being ridiculous for even bothering to entertain such thoughts. His logical brain told him nothing would ever come of this and he would probably never see this lovely young man again. But he could always hope.


	2. Behind the Red Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thran's POV.  
> This is life "behind the red line".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update! :) I already had this written thats why it's up so fast. The next chapter will take longer, but hopefully not too long since I am working on it now. Whoop whoop
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Hospital, Depression, Mental Health Issues
> 
> Ignore any spelling mistakes and grammar blunders ^-^

_\-----_

_Shift, Shift, Shift._

_My mind is flying back and forth_

_Between the dark and the light_

_The high and the low_

_It is the brightest abyss and the darkest confinement_

_Who am I?_

_Does anyone truly know?_

_Probably not._

_I don’t even know anymore._

_I am nothing._

_Just a soul floating along hoping for something, anything to grab hold of me._

_Save me._

_It’s like I am waiting for some kind of absolution._

_Will I ever be forgiven?_

_I doubt it._

_My entire existence is worthless. A lie_

_I should be lobotomized._

_-T._

_\----_

The air in 5 Centre is stagnant, dry and it gives off a heaviness that Thranduil can feel weighing down on the very essence of his being. It creates more anxiety than should be allowed in such a place- a place meant for healing. It was like a zoo, like being a caged up animal waiting for the day to break free. It wasn’t natural to cram so many ill people into one place. There were rules to abide, yes, so many rules. Thranduil knew them well enough, he should by now. Do not cross the red line. He made that mistake once before and got tackled to the ground with excessive force. He never made that same mistake again. They said he never learns his lessons, but that red line instilled in him an even greater fear of authority. He was not allowed to have a cellphone, any electronics, no sharp objects, nothing with a zipper, no jewelry, and smoke breaks were only awarded after 48 hours of being there.

Thranduil was in a room by himself which he was extremely grateful for. He hated being stuck in a room with someone else. He was lying on the sad excuse for a bed, trying to get comfortable. He was twisting a section of his hair between his fingers. Twist, unravel, repeat. He did this over and over as his eyes remained fixed on a small dent in the wall. His thoughts trailed off, never lingering too long on one concern, before bouncing to the next. The unnaturally bright fluorescent lights flickered and caught his attention for a few seconds until he was lost in his own mind once more.

Thranduil sighed to himself while waiting for Tracey to finish speaking with his primary care worker. He had known Tracey for a little over two years now and owed his life to her. Literally. She went to battle for him, always believing in him and never giving up on him, despite how static his progress had become in the past few months.

Thranduil sprawled himself out on the bed, tired of waiting. He shifted around until he was facing the doorway. He relaxed on his stomach, using his hands to prop up his head, while his legs hung off the side; the bed being far too small to contain all of him.

“How doth the little crocodile im-proove his shining tail, and poouur the waters of the Nile on ev-er-y golden scaaale.” He recited aloud, drawing out the words and putting on an old English accent. “Ugh, hurry up Tracey, fuck.”

Just then a middle aged man with greasy black hair poked his head into Thranduil’s room.

“Thranduil! Back so soon?” The man hollered, laughing smugly.

“Ew, Smaug. Still here I see.” Thranduil replied in a flat tone.

“I live here, idiot. I’ll never leave.”

“One day I’ll stop coming back, and I’ll never have to see your ugly face again.” Thranduil mused.

Smaug rolled his eyes and laughed. “Yeah fucking right. You love it here. You love me!”

Thranduil’s face scrunched up into an appalled expression as he stuck out his tongue in disgust. “Ew, sick. Can you go? I’m busy.” He said.

“Busy doing what?” Smaug asked as he slinked closer, seating himself on a wooden chair. “Playing with that lovely hair of yours?”

“Maybe.” At the mention of his hair, Thranduil took hold of it and pulled it around his face and neck, making a scarf of the blonde tresses.

“Don’t strangle yourself with it, or maybe do. I don’t care.” Smaug said, licking his lips in a way that made Thranduil uncomfortable, but not enough to actually do anything about it.

“We all know you want me. Don’t deny it, Smaug.” The blonde stated as if the words he spoke were a known fact.

Smaug’s eyes turned to slits as he looked at Thranduil, who had now rolled onto his side and flipped his hair over his shoulder in one swift motion. “Well...” Smaug began, “You are pretty hot for a half-man, half-woman.”

“Oh, shut up!”

“Remember the first time I saw you from behind...?”

“Yeah, you thought I was a girl and you hit on me. Everyone knows that story.”

“Well, you look like a girl from behind.” Smaug said. “We could, you know, always pretend...”

Anyone else would have punched Smaug out right then and there, but Thranduil found it amusing and didn’t mind the free entertainment. “Ew. Never. Go away.”

“You can’t make me, Barbie.”

Thranduil sighed deeply. If he had a nickel for all the times people have called him Barbie he would be a billionaire by now. “What do you want, Smaug?” He asked, voice becoming monotone once more.

“Oh, heh, you know...” Smaug made an obscene gesture with his mouth and hand, as Thranduil gasped loudly, knowing all too well what the creepy black-haired man was suggesting.

“OH MY GOD. Fuck off, Smaug! I’m serious this time. That’s so disgusting.” Thranduil said, shock still present in his wide eyes.

“We all know why you got out early last time...”

“I was doing well, you fucker!”

“Bull-shit” Smaug exclaimed in a sing-song voice.

“No, it’s true.” Thranduil retorted as he rolled back over onto his stomach, laying his head in the crook of his right arm. He let out a small huff while he twirled a lock of hair around a finger.

“Mhm, you’re just a little slut. I mean look at the way you lay on that bed!”

“I’m not even doing anything.” Thranduil said, a hint of irritation rising in his voice. He must be crazy for putting up with Smaug’s insults.

Smaug laughed. “Exactly! You don’t even have to try. You’re just a natural born slut. I bet you’ve fucked everyone in this godforsaken place, even the staff!”

“Are you kidding me? Especially the staff.” Thranduil rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Oh-ho-ho! So, you admit it then?”

“Jesus Christ, it’s called sarcasm, a powerful language tool used to convey just how deep your stupidity runs.” Thranduil snapped.

“Oh, such a smart boy. I may be stupid but I’m smart enough to see that you want me.” Smaug said, voice lowering and becoming seductive all of a sudden.

Thranduil shook his head overdramatically. “So. Gross. I don’t want you. Now, that hot guy from the gift shop...that I want. Not you.”

Smaug began to laugh profusely throwing his head upward and clutching his stomach. “Ow, ow! Thrandy’s got a crush!”

“Don’t call me that.”

There was a knock at the already halfway opened door as a short red haired nurse proceeded to enter while pushing a trolley. She looked at Thranduil and then over to Smaug, who was now up pacing around.

“Smaug? Why are you in Thranduil’s room?” She asked gently.

“He’s being disgusting.” Thranduil cut in before Smaug could answer.

“Nah, I’m just playin’, no harm done.” Smaug said.

The nurse moved over closer to Thranduil’s bed with her trolley. “Okay, well I have to do Thranduil’s blood work now, so I’ll need to you leave. You can come back later, but only if Thranduil permits it this time. No barging in.”

“He can go and stay away.” Thranduil spoke softly, eyeing the sharp instruments laid out on the nurse’s trolley.

“Aw, fine. I’m gonna go play scrabble with Sauron!” Smaug announced as he weaseled his way out of the doorway and down the hall, yelling out for Sauron.

“Good riddance.” Thranduil said as he sat upright on the bed, mentally preparing himself for his blood work to be done.

The nurse was getting all the needles in order and placing the identification stickers on each vial. “You know,” she said in a hushed voice, “if you don’t want him in your room you can tell him to leave. Not many people have the patience to deal with Smaug.”

The blonde gave a light chuckle as he swung his hair around his shoulders and rested back on the headboard of the bed. “It’s fine, whatever. He doesn’t bother me that much.”

“Alright, well let’s get this over with then, shall we?”

“Okay, but be gentle.”

“Of course” she smiled, “you won’t feel a thing, I promise you.”

“Yeah, that’s what the last guy said and he ended up poking me so bad I was bruised for days.”

“Don’t you worry, sunshine.” The nurse spoke calmly as she collected the 6 blood samples that she needed, without so much as squeak coming from the blonde.

She gave him a soft pat on the shoulder when it was over and made her way to the exit, leaving Thranduil alone in the silence of the empty room.

Thranduil did not enjoy being alone. He never had, even as a child he always wanted to be surrounded by people. His thoughts usually got the best of him, so any company, even the company of Smaug, was better than being completely and utterly alone. He moaned aloud and buried his head in the thin pillow. What was taking Tracey so long, he wondered? As if reading his mind, the dark-haired woman appeared at the side of his bed and took a seat.

“There you are. What did they say about me?” He asked her as he sat back up in the bed, swinging his legs over the edge to sit beside her.

“Well,” She began, “Dr. Grey will be seeing you tomorrow afternoon at the latest. He wants to try some new medication and get you off those damn benzos. He will also be talking to you about different outpatient programs to try and keep you from coming back here. We need to get a crisis plan in place for whenever they plan to release you, which should be in a week or two, depending on how you manage and if you actually do the work. Thran, you need to take care of yourself. No more stopping the meds on your own and when you feel like shit, you need to reach out, to me, to a friend, to anyone. We don’t want this to become your only option. You want to be able to live a happy healthy life, right?”

“Yeah, I know, but sometimes I just can’t take it. Sometimes I get lost in my own head and can’t get back out into reality no matter how hard I try. It’s like I’m trapped and my anxiety takes control of everything I do.”

“I know, but we’ve talked about this before. You need to use the coping strategies we’ve been working on.”

“They don’t work though.”

“That is because right now your mind is set in its ways. Something bad happens and you freak out. But the mind is very mouldable. It can change and adapt. We’re changing the pathways in your brain, telling it to do something different to deal with stress. Eventually, these healthy coping mechanisms will become the norm for you. You can keep walking down the established trail because it’s easy, or you can do something different and make a new one by repetitively walking on that new path.”

“But, I’m so fucked.”

“Thranduil, don’t deflect. I know it’s hard, but I believe in you, I always have. You’re stronger than this and you can learn to manage it. You can fight it and win. I know you can because you’ve done it before. You’ve overcome so much since I’ve known you and you will get through this too.”

Thranduil sighed and decided it was best not to continue objecting to Tracey’s feedback so he took in what she was saying even though he didn’t believe it. “Thanks, Trace.”

“Well, mister, I’ve got to get going now. I have an appointment with a client at 3, but I’ll be back tomorrow evening to see you.”

“Alrighty, have fun with you appointment and yeah...I’ll be here. Obviously, where else would I be?” He said. He knew his attempt at humor had fallen flat and was pointless but he tried.

“And tomorrow, you’ll be able to go for smoke breaks, something to look forward to.”

“Thank the stars, I am literally dying here!”

“I know. You will be just fine. Remember your strategies. Yoga breath!”

“Yup. Don’t worry about me, Trace. Now get going before you’re late.”

They stood up from the bed, giving each other a hug before Tracey made her way to the exit. Once she was gone Thranduil didn’t know what to do with himself. He sighed deeply feeling the air filling his lungs to capacity before letting out a huff and crawling under the thin sheet on the bed. He wasn’t up for mingling in the activity room he decided sleep would be the best time killer, and maybe, just maybe the blanket of despair would be gone when he awoke.

But no such luck. He woke up feeling groggy and more unrested than he had before. It was getting dark outside, and that very same darkness now consumed his fragile mind. It came on gradually and then suddenly, and he never had any control over it. Thranduil closed his eyes, stretching his body, while kicking off the sheet as if trying to rid himself of his physical discomfort.

He staggered to the bathroom which was located a few feet from his bed. Thranduil stopped in front of the sink and looked up at himself in the makeshift mirror. It wasn’t real glass of course; it was some sort of reflective metal. His image was blurry and he could not make out his features. His own reflection felt foreign to him; as if he was looking at someone else, not himself. He looked like a horror – wild matted hair sticking up on the left side from where he had slept on it.

“Fuck.” Thranduil wanted badly to put his hair up but he did not have an elastic band. He even thought about ripping a strip of fabric from the bottom hem of the hospital gown but figured something would probably go horribly wrong and he’d end up naked without any clothes to wear. Although it wouldn’t be the first time everyone at 5 Centre saw his in the buff. That was not a pleasant memory so he quickly changed his train of thought.

Bard. Oh, gorgeous, handsome, beautiful Bard from the hospital gift shop. Bard was pretty much everything Thranduil had ever fantasized about. These were good thoughts, normal thoughts. Thranduil wanted to get to know Bard, to actually have a proper conversation with him. Sure, he was beautiful on the outside, but was he equally as beautiful within? Thranduil knew he had completely embarrassed himself though. What an awful first impression he must have made. Would Bard even want to talk to him? Thranduil wondered why anyone would want to talk to him. He was practically insane. A complete and utter mess. Disgusting, unworthy, unlovable.

Even the gorgeous brunette couldn’t sufficiently distract Thranduil from the self-loathing thoughts that plagued his mind. He leaned back against the wall and slow sank down to the cold tile floor in the bathroom, tears beginning to form in his eyes. The blonde very rarely let himself feel his feelings. He had become a master of repressing every little thing that could possibly hurt him. He preferred to numb himself from the onslaught of pain. Because he knew once he allowed himself to feel any emotion at all it would attack like a rabid animal without mercy.

Thranduil’s cries turned to sobs and the sobs to full blown heaving as he clutched his chest. It felt as though his lungs would collapse due to the insufficient amount of air filling them with each ragged breath. He curled himself up into a ball on the floor and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist, as if subconsciously trying to offer himself some sort of comfort.

“Why, why, why, God WHY!” He wailed aloud and the sound echoed off the walls. The pain was building up and he could see no light at the end of the tunnel, only blackness closing in on him. Thranduil began to repeatedly bang his head against the hard concrete of the floor. A part of him wished he was all alone so he could knock himself unconscious, or even end his own life, yet another part longed to be saved from this misery.

Thranduil’s eyes burned like a wildfire and his face felt hot and swollen from the excessive crying. His blonde hair was splayed around him like the halo of a fallen angel as the tears stained his cheeks. He must’ve looked like death, but he didn’t care, he just longed for it all to end. Either that, or have the mania return, it was the closest he could get to achieving happiness. False security is what it was. A big fat lie, for when he was in a manic state, he knew it wouldn’t be long before he fell plummeting to the depths.

He felt himself being grabbed by the arm and pulled upward. Thranduil knew it had to be one of the nurses but he could not see which one through his blurred vision. He made it to his feet despite his small struggle to stay in the bathroom, and found himself being led to his bed where he was plopped down like a lifeless body. He was exhausted, mentally and physically.

_Sleep, beautiful sleep._

The nurse spoke but Thranduil was already drifting off to a world of dreams, a world that promised happier times that reality could ever provide.

Thranduil awoke to a figure standing above him. He rubbed his eyes trying to get them to focus. It was his primary care worker, with his medication. It must be morning. He didn’t know the time but it felt early, very early. He didn’t appreciate conversation at such an hour. Really, he didn’t appreciate being roused from a deep sleep ever, it didn’t matter the hour.

The blonde shook his head, hair swaying about over his broad shoulders. His worker was holding out his pills in a small paper cup, and a cup of water in the other hand. Thranduil took the pills and reached for the water. He took a large gulp and titled his head back to get the pills down. He set the cup of water down on the bedside table as he proceeded to slouch backwards onto the headboard. His fingers were running through the ends of his hair trying to remove the mess of tangles.

“How are you, Thranduil?” His worker spoke in a concerned tone, obviously aware of Thranduil’s emotional outburst the night before.

“Fine, I just want to go back to sleep.” He answered, sleep still thick in his voice. “What time is it?”

“It’s 6:45. Breakfast is at 7:30, so don’t sleep for too long or you will miss out.”

“Okay, will I get my smoke breaks today? It’s been 48 hours.”

“Yes. You will be able to go out at 11.”

“Thank you, Jesus.” Thranduil sighed and slid back down, pulling the sheet up around himself. He hoped sleep would find him again if only for a little while.

Thranduil woke with a jolt. He knew immediately that he had slept for too long and had more than likely missed breakfast. This wasn’t a daycare, they weren’t going to wake him or personally deliver his meal. If he missed it then too bad, he would just have to wait until lunch at noon. He felt a bit more rested now so he decided to get up and walk around. His body was feeling stiff and he needed to stretch out his legs.

Thranduil wandered out of his room into the hallway. 5 Centre was shaped in a circle so a lot of patients just walked around and around to pass the time. He saw a few familiar faces but said nothing, continuing on to the activity room so he could find out the time.

8:57am. The trays of food were mostly empty on a trolley but he spotted an untouched muffin so he took it. Dry and stale, but at least it was food. He was starving and badly wanted to take a shower. He felt just as dry and stale as that nasty muffin.

Smaug was lying on the couch in the activity room with his feet up on the armrest. A few others were occupying all the other seats so none were available for him. Thranduil waltzed over to where Smaug was.

“Can I sit?” he asked.

“No.” Smaug answered curtly.

“What the fuck, move!”

“No.”

“Fine, asshole.”

Thranduil sat down on the floor in front of the couch and whipped his head around so that his long hair would hit Smaug in the face over and over, hopefully causing him enough annoyance that he would move.

“Stop it.” Smaug said, not sounding like his usual self.

“Let me on the couch then!” Thranduil demanded, heat rising in his voice.

“Fuck you.” Smaug spat as he stood up and left the room altogether.

“Douchebag.” Thranduil mumbled as he got up off the dusty floor and sat himself down on the couch. He ate his muffin slowly and wandered back out into the hall to see if the showers were free.

He spotted Smaug walking around aimlessly with his head down. The blonde was going to tell him that the couch was free now, but came to the conclusion, based on Smaug’s demeanour, that it would be best to just leave him be.

Thranduil hated Smaug, but at the same time he had a good time bickering with him. It made him feel confident and superior. The first time Thranduil had ever been admitted to 5 Centre a few years back, Smaug had tried to light his hair on fire. The incident resulted in a physical fight between the two, Thranduil having the upper hand thanks to his height and strength. Smaug was a small man, with a bark much bigger than his bite.

The shower was disgusting like usual, it was to be expected. Thranduil could just imagine all the people that had used it, and all the things they had done in it. Gross. He shuddered to himself as he undressed and turned on the water.

He had to use the horrid smelling bar soap and shampoo that they provided. No conditioner. God. Life without conditioner was no life at all. Especially when your hair went down to your ass and the air was humid as hell. Bring on the frizz!

Thranduil was half expecting someone to walk in on him either by accident or on purpose. There were no locks on the shower doors, only signs that announced that the cubicle was occupied.

He finished up quickly due to his paranoia, grabbed a towel and went back to his room. His hair was dripping on the floor as he went, leaving a trail of water droplets. He dried himself off and put the awful hospital gown back on. Thranduil was a fashionable person and did not appreciate having to wear such a thing. He was glad Tracey would be bringing him some of his own clothes today when she came to visit. Another day in that damn gown and he would hang himself with the bloody thing.

It was now 10:07am and in less than an hour Thranduil would be able to have a smoke, or two, maybe three. He could hardly wait for his nicotine rush. The fresh air was also calling his name. He was looking forward to the warm breeze in his hair. He hated being confined in such a dreary place with so many unstable people.

In the pit of his stomach he felt something, something akin to nervousness. He knew when he went for his smoke he would have to walk past the gift shop. Oh, lord, would he see Bard? Did he want to see Bard? Or was it best to hide from him? Would it be awkward after his little meltdown? The more Thranduil thought about it the more he realized that Bard probably wanted nothing to do with someone like him.

_You’re a mess_ , he told himself. _No one could ever love you._

God, it would probably be better if Bard wasn’t even working today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is johnnysmitten :)


	3. The Loading Dock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard finds himself in a very awkward situation....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, lord. I'm blushing at this. Smut is so strange to write, but it's in here! Nothing major though. Not yet at least.   
> Thank you to anyone who is actually reading this. You're kinda awesome. :)

________

“Mmm, Bard, you’re kinda perfect you know?”

Bard chuckled lightly and ran his fingers through the long blonde hair that was sprawled over his chest. “No, you’re the perfect one. I mean, look at you.”

“Aw babe, you’re sweet, but I’m serious. You’re everything to me.”

They were lying together on Bard’s bed, arms around each other. Every now and then the blonde would press light kisses on Bard’s jaw, as Bard languidly stroked the other’s back. This was pure bliss, being able to be this close to someone again. Falling in love. Sharing yourself with another.

Bard’s thoughts were interrupted as the gorgeous blonde changed positions and ended up on top of Bard, straddling him. He didn’t hesitate and moved his face closer, crashing their mouths together in a sloppy, heated kiss. He could feel the blonde grinding his hardening length down on Bard’s and the action caused them both to moan in unison.

“Uh, fuck.” The blonde whimpered into Bard’s mouth as he began grinding down harder, hands sliding up under Bard’s shirt as his fingers danced along the brunette’s skin. “I want you so bad.”

“Mmm.” Bard moaned in agreement. There was nothing he wanted more. “And I want you, love.”

“Then take me. Fuck me hard, right here, right now.” He could feel the blonde undoing his pants as their tongues slid together in a wickedly sinful way. “Please, just fuck me.”

 

_BEEEEEEP! BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP!_

Bard woke abruptly and shifted around in his bed not realizing where he was or what had just taken place. A dream. A damn dream. He was fully hard now and he had two options. Relieve himself in a way that he quite honestly hadn’t done in a while ever since moving back to his parents house, or take a cold shower. He opted for the cold shower seeing as he had to leave for work shortly and didn’t have the time to pleasure himself. Not to mention the fact that both his parents were in the house, in the next room over.

He felt a little foolish for having such a vivid sexual dream about that blonde hospital patient, _Thranduil_. What a strange and beautiful name, for a strange and beautiful person. Bard couldn’t help himself though; he had never in all his twenty-three years been so attracted to another human being. Nor had he ever experienced such strong lust for someone he didn’t even know.

As Bard showered he couldn’t stop his mind from returning to the events of the dream he had just had. What a perfect scenario it was, being caught up in the throes of passion with such a beautiful person. How utterly amazing.

He tried desperately to stop thinking about it as he got ready for work. There was no point in entertaining such ridiculous thoughts. It was never going to happen, he told himself repeatedly, trying to banish the idea from his brain. _Why would someone like that want someone as plain and boring as you?_

Since it was a Saturday, Bard ended up getting to work in record time, seeing as there was not a lot of traffic at 7:30 in the morning. Most people were at home, sleeping in their beds. Bard wished he was still in bed, but at the same time he really wanted to see if Thranduil would make another appearance at the gift shop. He needed to see those dazzling blue eyes again.

Bilbo was starting at the same time as Bard today and since they were both fifteen minutes early they decided to grab a coffee together before their shift officially began.

They stood in the line at the coffee shop not making much conversation with each other. Bilbo was smirking wildly at his phone and Bard was lost in his thoughts of Thranduil.

“What are you smiling about?” Bard asked.

“Oh, nothing. I just may have gotten someone’s number after work yesterday, that’s all.” Bilbo replied with glee.

“Your ‘custodial engineer’?” Bard said, making sure not to refer to him as a janitor this time.

“Maaayyybe.” Bilbo said, looking down to his phone, smiling a little too wide for someone who had to work all day.

“Lucky you.” Bard said with a hint of contempt in his voice.

“Don’t be jealous, Bard. You’ll get that blondes number eventually.”

“I don’t know.”

“You will. If you see him today you better ask! Or I’ll have to do it for you.”

“NO!” Bard almost shouted, that was the last thing he wanted. God, how embarrassing. It was like junior high antics.

“Then don’t be a chicken.”

“Fine, Bilbo, I’ll do it. But don’t laugh at me when I get rejected.”

“And why on earth would you get rejected?!”

“Because I’m me and he’s absolutely stunning, that’s why!”

“Oh, Bard, you’re too hard on yourself.” Bilbo said as he shook his head.

They ordered their beverages and went to punch in at the gift shop. Saturdays were generally busier seeing as a lot of people came to visit friends and family on the weekend.

Bard had been manning the cash register as Bilbo helped customers and tidied up. Half way through their shift they would switch. This had always been their routine when they worked together.

Surprisingly, it was not that busy, and thankfully the customers didn’t need to be tended to. They knew what they wanted and they didn’t need to be hounded. Bard was lost in his own mind as he was standing at the cash, eyes fixed upon a speck of dirt on the counter top. It was then that he heard a familiar voice. The most beautiful voice in the whole world. _Thranduil_. He didn’t even have to look. He knew it was the blonde.

“Shut up, Smaug!” the blonde said as Bard saw him walking around leisurely in the hall with a few others.

Bard’s heart began flitting around in his chest like a trapped butterfly. Oh my God, I need to go see him, Bard thought immediately. And before his rational mind could tell him it was a bad idea, he was speed walking over to where Bilbo was dusting some shelves.

“Bilbo! He’s there!” Bard exclaimed excitedly.

Bilbo looked over to where the blonde was walking away with a group of people, towards the hospital exit. “Oh, Bard, go! I’ll be fine here, it’s dead anyway!”

“Thank you.” Bard spoke nervously, feeling a lump forming in his throat. _What am I doing?_

He began walking to the gift shop exit, thinking how silly he was. He knew he acted too quickly before he even began to think about what he was actually doing. This wasn’t a good idea. He was going to end up humiliating himself beyond belief and it’s not like Thranduil was alone. He was with a group of people who would probably laugh at Bard for trying his luck at getting the blondes number. He didn’t need an audience jeering at his stupidity. He was already jeering himself enough in his own head.

As Bard was walking towards the hospital exit he was seriously contemplating just turning around and going back. But it wasn’t like him to admit defeat before even trying. He started giving himself a mental pep talk, hoping he could psych himself up and not just crash and burn.

As he stepped outside he saw the group of people off to the side of the hospital, standing around near a picnic table. Thranduil was sitting on the curb lighting a cigarette, as some older black-haired man spoke with him. The others were all caught up in their own conversations, and some just stood farther away by themselves.

_Okay, Bard, you can do this. Just go say hi. But why am I saying hi? Just because? No, that’s weird. You’re a creeper. Ugh. Just do it! Suck it up, there is nothing to lose. Yeah, nothing but my dignity._

Bard was having a serious internal debate but before he could start walking over he saw the small black-haired man point a finger at Bard causing Thranduil to turn around quickly looking in his direction.

Their eyes locked and Bard felt like time stood still for that moment. Thranduil shot up from where he was sitting in one fluid motion, and proceeded to skip over in Bard’s direction with a big smile on his pretty face.

“Hey!” the blonde said as he stopped suddenly in front of Bard, who still hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Hi,” Bard began, voice sounding hoarser than he expected. “So, you finally got that cigarette, I see…”

“Heh, yeah, ‘bout time!” Thranduil smirked as he put the cigarette up to his lips and took a drag. “I didn’t know if I’d see you again. How are you?”

“Uh, I’m good. Just, uh, working, you know? The usual.” Bard spoke shakily. He felt like he was having an out of body experience.

“That’s nice. I’m stuck with these idiots.” Thranduil laughed as he motioned in the direction of the group of people a few feet away from where he and Bard were standing.

“That short black-haired guy is staring.” Bard uttered before he could stop himself. For some odd reason he felt a pang of jealousy hit him.

“Ew. That’s just Smaug. He’s gross.” Thranduil said as he stepped closer to Bard and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “He wants _this_.” Thranduil used his hands to motion toward his crotch as he rolled his eyes. He then shot a look over his shoulder and stuck up his middle finger at Smaug, who mirrored the gesture before turning away.

Bard was beginning to blush profusely. He looked down at his feet hoping Thranduil wouldn’t notice how flustered he had become.

“Oh, and I’m Thranduil, by the way.” He put his cigarette between his lips as he held out his hand to Bard.

Bard chuckled quietly and reached out to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Bard, as you already know.” God, his skin was soft. Bard wondered how his hands would feel on other parts of his body, which only caused his blush to intensify.

“Yes, I do know. I pay attention to beautiful people.” Thranduil spoke seductively. As if he was trying to flirt with Bard. _No way. Not possible!_ “And, it’s very nice to officially meet you, Bard.”

Bard didn’t know what to say. No words were forming and the only thoughts in his mind were not things to be spoken aloud. He just smiled modestly and shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Nice to meet you too.” Bard finally muttered shyly.

It was almost as if Thranduil could sense his apprehension. “Do I make you nervous, Bard?” He flicked his cigarette butt onto the road and proceeded to pull out another and light it up.

“Uh, well, maybe a little.” Bard didn’t even know how to answer without making himself look like a complete idiot. This was not going how he had planned. He was sure he was going to be more confident than this. What a sad display.

“It’s okay, I have that effect on people, I guess.”

“You’re kinda gorgeous.” _Wow, good one Bard._ He yet again spoke before thinking and was now cursing himself in his head. _Goddamn fool!_

“You wanna go somewhere with me?” Thranduil spoke seductively as his upper teeth grazed his bottom lip and winked at Bard.

Holy shit. What is going on here? Bard thought. This can’t be happening.

“Uh, go where?” Bard spoke nervously, his tongue feeling like a giant cotton ball in his mouth. He was now experiencing a bizarre feeling in his stomach and his heart was hammering in his chest.

Thranduil shifted closer to him and dragged his index finger down Bard’s chest, as the brunettes eyes grew wide. Bard unintentionally licked his lips, trying to get rid of the dryness in his mouth. Their eye contact was still unbroken as the blonde took another deep drag of his cigarette, exhaling over Bard’s shoulder as he leaned in even closer. He grabbed Bard’s wrist and fluttered his eyelashes before he spoke. “Just away. You want to?”

Bard wondered if Thranduil was really serious, or if he was just a good actor messing with Bard’s mind and it was all just a big joke. He hoped not. He didn’t know if the blonde was actually interested in him or not and it scared him, because Bard was definitely interested. _Very_ interested.

“Um, okay, yeah sure.” Bard swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath.

“Good. C’mon.” Thranduil spun around with Bard in tow. Bard had no idea where they were headed and part of him didn’t want to think of what the blonde wanted to do with him.

He could hardly breathe properly as Thranduil lead him past the group of people who were all staring at them two of them and sharing looks with each other. They walked around to the other side of the hospital where the loading dock was located. It was completely empty. A bunch of trees grew up around one side of the wall. Thranduil clutched Bard’s hand tighter and looked back at him before leading him behind the trees.

Bard’s breath was becoming even more irregular at this point. He couldn’t stop his dirty thoughts because a part of him knew what was coming. Half of him was so nervous he couldn’t move, and the other half wanted it more than anything. His mind couldn’t stop going back to the dream he had that morning.

Thranduil was standing close to him holding both his hands gently as he gazed at Bard through his long lashes. He bit his bottom lip as he moved in closing the gap between them, before stopping with his face inches from Bard’s. Their noses were so close they almost touched.

_Just do it, Bard. Take the initiative._ He told himself over and over in his head.

“Do you want me?” Thranduil asked breathily.

“Mmm, yes.”

At Bard’s response, Thranduil’s lips feverishly pressed again his. Bard felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire. They paused, looking each other in the eyes before the passion consumed them once more. It was gentle at first, light pecks, but grew hotter and more intense in mere seconds. Thranduil tasted like smoke but Bard didn’t care, that was the last thing on his mind. He was more focused on trying to control his erection which was growing harder in his pants with each kiss from the blonde.

Their mouths continued to slot together in perfect synchronization as Thranduil pressed his fingers into Bard’s chest and before too long their bodies were plastered together. Bard clung to Thranduil’s back like it would be a crime to let go.

As their kisses grew deeper, Thranduil let his fingers wander up Bard’s chest, intertwining them behind the brunette’s neck. Their tongues were now rolling together hungrily in rapid motions sending a jolt down Bard’s spine as Thranduil continued to become more and more forceful.  

The blonde’s hands were clutching onto Bard’s shoulders, fingers digging in through the thin material of his shirt. Bard’s breathing quickly picked up as he exhaled through his nose, their kisses growing in intensity. These were not sweet, loving kisses, but rather desperate, wanton kisses that left them both craving more.

Thranduil was tracing his tongue lightly along Bard’s lips, causing the brunette to quiver as the blonde bit down on his lower lip. Bard let out a gasp as Thranduil’s eager hands trailed down his chest and hooked into his belt loops, gingerly pulling their bodies together once again. Bard bucked his hips at the gesture, desire building quickly.

Their eyes widened knowingly as their erections rubbed together, Thranduil now circling his hips to create more friction. Bard sighed lowly as Thranduil claimed his neck with hot, wet kisses. All of a sudden, the blonde’s fingers ghosted over the aching length trapped in Bard’s pants.

“Mmm, fuck.” Bard exhaled deeply, voice shaking, the words almost unable to escape. As if Thranduil was able to read his mind, his nimble fingers began unbuckling Bard’s belt and proceeded to pop open the button.

Bard’s mind was a whirlwind. His thoughts were all over the place. Filthy, nasty thoughts. He didn’t know what was going on; he was lost in this haze of passion and didn’t want it to ever end. Yet, a part of him felt guilty about it.

He was never one to have ‘one night stands’, or engage in sexual acts with people he barely knew. But for some reason this felt different. His heart was swelling in his chest and he felt like he really _knew_ Thranduil, and that maybe something more could come of this.

An electric shock shot through the brunette’s entire being, euphoria taking hold of his senses as Thranduil ran his finger under the waistband of Bard’s underwear. _Oh God._

As the blonde toyed with Bard’s boxers, he slathered wet kisses all over his neck, licking absentminded patterns onto his skin. Bard’s hands now took hold of the other’s hips, as his thumbs began to rub little circles into Thranduil’s hipbones eliciting a soft moan from the blonde.

Bard’s heart was on the verge of exploding in his chest as Thranduil sucked little marks into his neck, his hands still resting on the waistband of the brunette’s boxers, moving devastatingly slow down to hover over Bard’s throbbing hard on. Luckily for the gasping brunette, Thranduil’s hands didn’t linger too long before rubbing his palm over Bard’s now fully hard erection. _Holy fuck,_ Bard thought to himself, _this is really happening._

Thranduil’s eyes found Bard’s as he hurriedly abandoned the brunette’s neck, flashing a devilish smirk as he brought his hands up, cupping Bard’s face and pressing a tender kiss on the corner on his mouth. Bard ran his hands up Thranduil’s sides not wanting him to stop his ministrations.

The long blonde hair that was hanging down over Thranduil’s shoulders was now twisted around Bard’s fingers. He was drawn to it and needed to play with it. Bard began mischievously tugging at it, noticing how Thranduil’s sucking kisses became more and more heated.

“Mmm, you taste good. I want to taste more of you.” Thranduil cooed into Bard’s ear.

“Oh, yeah?” Bard panted heavily, inhaling the scent of that silken blonde hair.

The brunette lowered his hands again, fingers now gripping tightly on Thranduil’s ass; and, _fuck_ , what a perfect ass it was. Since Thranduil was still wearing his hospital gown, which was made of very thin material, Bard could feel every curve of his tight ass all the more.

The thought that he could be pounding deep into that ass caused Bard to let out a longing whimper. Thranduil was rubbing Bard’s cock with more fervor now, before suddenly halting the action altogether. He pressed a chaste kiss to Bard’s lips before sinking down to his knees, sliding Bard’s erection out into plain view.

Bard’s legs felt weak, like they would give out at any minute, as Thranduil peered up at him through dark lashes, licking his lips enticingly.

“It’s okay, I won’t bite.” Thranduil spoke softly, both hands still working Bard’s hungering cock. The blonde leaned in as he slowly dragged his tongue along the underside of Bard’s shaft. _Oh god._ His tongue was warm but left a cooling sensation as he licked up to the tip, lapping up the precum that had formed at the slit.

He swirled his tongue in circular motions before closing his lips around the length. Bard watched closely as Thranduil bobbed his head up and down on his throbbing cock. Thranduil’s hand was still pumping the base of Bard’s dick, twisting his wrist every now and then, as he lowered his head further.

Bard’s hands rested on the back of Thranduil’s head approvingly as the blonde expertly took every inch of Bard’s length into his mouth. The hot, wetness of Thranduil’s mouth caused Bard to buck his hips harder, as the blonde let out a moan.

Slight gagging noises were now being made by Thranduil, as Bard let out a euphoric sigh, hands now tangled into that silky hair, pulling his head toward him with more force. Bard couldn’t think of anything other than the pure pleasure that Thranduil was bestowing upon him; it was pure ecstasy!

A little nagging voice in the back of Bard’s head kept telling him that this was wrong, that he should not be letting some _stranger_ go down on him, behind the trees, while he was technically at work.

“Hey?” Bard said sheepishly.

He didn’t want Thranduil to stop pleasuring him with the sinful mouth of his, but at the same time he didn’t want to take advantage of Thranduil, nor did he want Thranduil to somehow take advantage of him (if that was even possible at this point). He didn’t think it was fair for either of them.

Thranduil moved his mouth maddeningly slow up Bard’s cock as he pulled his lips away with a pop. He licked the saliva off his lips as his blue eyes looked up to Bard incredulously.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?”

Before Bard could say anything, the sound of footsteps approaching caught his attention. Thranduil heard it as well, whipping his head to the side to see if anyone was there, or if it was just their minds playing tricks on them.

“Thranduil?! Where the fuck are you?” a voice bellowed, approaching too fast for either of the young men to hide the activities of their private rendezvous, before the black-haired man from earlier appeared in Bard’s view. Fuck.

“HOLY SHIT!” The man hollered, voice half way between amusement and shock.

Bard quickly shoved himself back in his pants, turning away from the gawking man, trying to give himself a little privacy in this extremely awkward situation. God, he had never, _ever_ been caught before. This was _so_ embarrassing. He just wanted to melt into the ground and disappear for good. Out of sight, out of mind.

He could feel Thranduil standing up from his crouched position beside him, shaking out his blonde hair, clearing his voice before he spoke.

“What do you want, Smaug? Jesus Christ! Can’t you fuck off for 5 minutes?”

“I knew you were a slut.” Smaug responded indifferently, no heat in his voice. “Now, c’mon, we’re gonna get in shit because of you!”

“I didn’t ask you to wait.”

“We are a unit, Thrandy.”

“Suck my unit!” Thranduil snapped back, a giggle almost escaping his lips as he quoted Tropic Thunder.

Not the time, or the _place_ , Blondie.” Smaug said, clearly mocking Bard and Thranduil’s unfortunate hookup venue.

“Sorry, idiot, but you totally set me up for that one. But, whatever. Don’t worry about this, it’s _nothing_.” Thranduil replied coolly, as if being with Bard hadn’t affected him, like none of this meant anything at all to him. Bard didn’t want to think that, but it’s the only thought that was running through his mind. To the blonde, Bard was just a fuck, just another conquest. A distraction. _Nothing._

Bard was feeling sick to his stomach, regretting everything that had taken place between the two of them. Why did he even allow it to happen in the first place? How could Thranduil act like none of this mattered? He was just joking around quoting movies, like this way just another day at the park.

“Okay, Smaug, I’m coming, just head back without me. I’ll be there in 30 seconds. I swear.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

As Smaug walked out of sight, Thranduil grasped Bard’s shoulders, turning him so they were face to face. Bard didn’t make eye contact, what was the point? He didn’t want to be messed with anymore. He wasn’t a puppet to be used for someone else’s amusement. Yet his heart still beat a little faster when he told himself that maybe the blonde really did want to get to know him. Maybe it wasn’t just a mindless hookup.

“I’m sorry, Bard.” Thranduil whispered softly. “I’m really not like this.”

Bard didn’t know what to say. His mouth felt dry, parched, like a drought beckoning for rain. The thoughts he did have were trapped, unable to be verbalized, so he just stood there, staring.

“Can I have your number?” Bard asked, the only thing that could somehow find its way out of his mouth.

“Sure, but I don’t have my phone with me. I’ll have it again when I’m released.”

“When’s that?”

“A week, if everything goes well.”

“Okay.” Bard still didn’t know why the blonde was in the hospital, although he was beginning to have his suspicions. He didn’t ask though, out of courtesy.

“I don’t have a pen, but wait.”

“It’s okay; you can give it to me later.” Bard suggested.

“No, here.” Thranduil was looking around on the ground until he stopped and picked up a small white rock. “Perfect.” He said as he proceeded to use the rock to scrawl out his number on the brick wall.

“Clever.”

“That’s my middle name.” Thranduil beamed as he flipped his hair over his shoulder. _Damnit_ , he really was beautiful.

“Thranduil! Fuckin’ hurry up!” a voice called from the distance, sounding incredibly impatient.

“Shit. I gotta go.” Thranduil said with an uneasy expression plaguing his features, before running off, long blonde hair swishing in the sunlight.

Bard didn’t know whether to smile or cry. What a perfect disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr - johnnysmitten   
> :)  
> ps. I will be writing two fics for Barduil Week!  
> Dreams/Nightmares on July 1st and Silly AU/Crack Fic on July 4th, so watch for those if you're interested.


	4. Pathetique.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil feels awful after his incident with Bard.  
> He finally opens up about his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUM DUM DUMMMM!  
> Trigger Warnings: Depression, Bipolar, BPD, PTSD, mentions of sexual abuse, slut shaming, self-harm (sort of)  
> I think thats it, let me know if I missed anything.

“Can you just fuck off?!” Thranduil yelled at Smaug as he was being led back up to 5 Centre by the greasy-haired man.

“You were supposed to come back, not suck that guy off in the bushes!” Smaug shouted back at him as he pressed the buzzer to be let into their ward.

“My life, Smaug. I can do _what_ I want, _when_ I want, with whoever the fuck I want. It’s not your business.” The blonde retorted, voice becoming increasingly unstable as he paced around frantically.

“Well, I was j-“

“SHUT UP! I do _NOT_ care!” Thranduil cut him off, fury weaving its way into his words as his posture grew more rigid by the second. “Open the fucking door!” He yelled through clenched teeth. “What the fuck is taking so long?!”

Smaug ignored the blonde’s outburst, not caring that he was being shouted at. “You know…if you want someone to, uh, fuck around with, well, yeah I’m always here.”

“I fucking know. You’ve made that clear many, _many_ times now.”

“Release a little tension, maybe?” Smaug proposed with a wink.

The door was opened for them and they both proceeded to walk in, not making eye contact with any of the workers. They knew this place too well and didn’t want anyone to know that any issues had arisen.

“Yeah, whatever, Smaug, if I’m desperate.” Thranduil said, heat still present in his voice.

Smaug shuffled away as Thranduil remained standing near the main entrance of 5 Centre. “Come find me later then.” The dark-haired man called back to Thranduil as he entered the activity room.

The air was suffocating Thranduil and he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly. The fury had taken hold of him and he could feel every muscle in his body tightening and contracting and before he could process what he was feeling, he shifted his body towards the wall as he swung his fist into the concrete.

Fucking hell!

Thranduil’s vision blurred and he could feel his knuckles throbbing in pain as he swung at the wall with even more force this time. Before he knew it, a few workers were restraining him so he could not harm himself any further. He was seething, his teeth were gritting together and his body was stiff. He could barely feel the blood that was now dripping from the knuckles of his right hand, unto the floor.

Thranduil could feel the stares from other patients but truly did not give a shit. This was a psychiatric ward after all, they were all crazy. He was allowed to have his moment.

His mind raced as his primary care worker showed up and led him to his room. He could only think of Bard and how badly he had messed everything up. He had no chance now.

When they arrived in his room, the nurse following behind had a first aid kit with her, undoubtedly for Thranduil’s bloody hand. _God damn people_. He would’ve continued punching that wall until he shattered every bone in his hand and rendered it useless.

He was sat down on the bed, his primary care worker seating herself beside Thranduil as the nurse stood in front of him, a little too close for comfort. She cleaned off his wound and bandaged it up with gauze before anyone spoke.

“Thranduil, what happened?” his worker asked in a gentle, reassuring voice.

“Nothing.”

“Something had to have happened. It won’t get better unless you’re honest. Please tell me.”

“No. It’s nothing. Just this fucking mixed episode. I don’t know how much longer I can take it.” He replied, giving her as little information as possible. “Can I just be alone now?”

“Well, you’ll be seeing Dr. Grey very soon, so remember to tell him everything, alright?”

“Yeah, okay.”

He slumped down into the pillows, examining the gauze that was wound around his knuckles.

_You fool._

He opened the drawer of the side table and pulled out his journal, the only possession he currently had. Thranduil just needed to get it all out. Write until the thoughts didn’t weigh him down as they were now. Write until the pain subsided somewhat.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I am a worthless, disgusting waste of space and I should just die, right here, right now. There is no point in being here in this fucking world. I want to get drunk. I want to get fucking wasted and pass the fuck out. Who cares anyway? I have no family, no friends, so I might as well just die. No one would miss me. What the fuck was I thinking? Why do I do such stupid things? Why can’t I just be normal?! I’ve ruined it, ruined it all and now I have no idea what I should do. I can’t right this wrong. I am just going to stay the fuck away. I need something to take away this pain. Something to ease the horrible suffering that I must face day in and day out! Is there no end to the bullshit I must endure? Will it ever subside? Can I ever be free? No. You will be a slave forever. You are just a filthy slut. Yes, I am. Smaug was right. Even in all his stupidity he was right. I am a whore. I don’t know how to love because no one has ever loved me. I’ve only ever been hurt and will inevitably go around hurting others. I would love for someone to shoot me in a drive by. Why wasn’t I raised properly? Why wasn’t I cared for and nurtured like other children? Why have I failed at everything in life? Why do I not even know who I am? I will be stuck here in this fucking HELL forever because I have NO hope to get out, no desire to SAVE MYSELF. I am co-dependent as Tracey said. But I guess I didn’t need her to tell me that. I’ve known forever. I latch on to anything and use whatever I can as a crutch to support my feeble mind. I want to be able to love someone. I want Bard. SLUT SLUT SLUT, that’s all you are Thranduil. That’s all you’ll ever be. Why did he have to do this to me? It is all his fault. He programmed me this way. I don’t fucking know any better. I cannot change now. These unhealthy patterns have been engraved into my very being. It is who I am. I will never amount to anything of any worth – because of that disgusting motherfucker. There I go, blaming others for my situation. No, it is my own fault. No one else did this. I did it to myself and I can’t be saved from the darkness that consumes me. FUCK IT ALL. I just don’t care. I’m gonna do something stupid. –T_

Thranduil was hit by a wave of emotion as he thought about the recent activities that had taken place with Bard. He thought that writing down his feelings would help them dissipate, yet it only brought them on stronger.

He wanted to do it; something deep within him was telling him that if he did it he would surely feel better, if only for a short time.

He fought his own mind, trying to keep the irrational thoughts at bay. What a difficult task when your thoughts literally controlled your every move.

_Just do something else. Distract yourself._

Thranduil wandered back into the hallway, hand stinging like a motherfucker. Whatever. He deserved the pain for what he had done. This was payment.

He sauntered into the activity room where a young man with chestnut colored hair was tinkering away on the piano. Others were gathering around to see if he could play anything decent.

I could give those fuckers a show, Thranduil thought. Perfect distraction.

Thranduil had always been a talented pianist, having taken lessons since he was 4 years old. Despite the fact that he hadn’t played in quite some time, he still knew his skill had not diminished. The talent would always be there, it didn’t just evaporate into thin air.

“Hey hot stuff, why don’t you show us what those fingers can do?” Smaug blurted out as he saw Thranduil approaching.

“Alright, scoot over then.” Thranduil murmured as the young man got up and moved away to sit on a chair beside the piano.

Thranduil took a seat at the bench, flicking his long hair over his shoulder as he got comfortable. He looked at the bandage on his hand, hoping that his injury would not hinder his performance. He shook out his hands before placing them ever so lightly on the keys.

“Play some Taylor Swift.” Suggested an older lady standing directly behind him.

“God, no. You’re getting Beethoven. Pathetique. This song represents my current state of mind.” Thranduil stated nonchalantly, as he took in a breath before beginning.

He didn’t even have to think about it, the act so ingrained in his mind from years and years of strenuous training. It was as though his fingers had a mind of their own as they pounded down on the keys.

The blonde closed his eyes as the song progressed, emotions flowing out through his fingertips. The melody was becoming one with his body as he began to sway gently, hands moving quickly as the tempo picked up.

_Ugh_. This song was life. This song made him forget, if only for a moment. No thoughts, no worries.

“Thranduil?” a nurse called from the entrance of the activity room.

_How rude._

Thranduil ended the song midway through in an abrupt fashion. What could they possibly want from him now?

“Yes?” He replied as he spun around on the bench, flashing a rather annoyed expression in the direction of the nurse.

“I’m sorry for interrupting but Dr. Grey is ready to see you now. I know how long you’ve been waiting for him so you don’t want to waste any time.” _Finally!_

Thranduil shot up off the bench and made his way to the door where he followed the nurse to Dr. Grey’s office. He was nervously rubbing his fingers together while waiting for the doctor to let him in.

He had seen Dr. Grey briefly once before, but at that time he was not very honest and didn’t share the information that he should have. He had no desire to get well at that time. A big part of him wanted to keep everything to himself and bottle it all up, but he knew that honesty would only make this process easier, so there was no point in fighting it.

Thranduil also didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of him anymore. If he cried, then so be it, it did not mean he was weak, it meant he had feelings. And as Tracey told him, he needed to feel those feelings and not block them out.

Dr. Grey opened the door to his office and the nurse left Thranduil alone with the old bearded man. He sure did look strange for someone who was a psychiatrist. His beard was long and silver in color and his eyebrows were messy and unkempt. This guy must be nuts, Thranduil thought.

“Welcome, Thranduil, come on in, take a seat.” He spoke kindly, ushering the blonde into his office.

Thranduil sat down on his hands, a nervous habit he had ever since he was a child. He tapped his feet and chewed at his bottom lip before Dr. Grey spoke.

“So, how are you doing today?”

“Uh, alright, I guess.” Thranduil replied with apprehension, as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. He hated talking to these so called professionals. What did they know about anything he was feeling? They knew nothing at all; they never experienced it so how the hell could they be of any help?

“Just alright?” What happened to your hand?”

“Um, well,” he gazed down at the bandage and sighed. “I got pissed, and I punched the wall.” He stated matter-of-factly. “No big deal, I have done _much_ worse to myself in the past.”

Dr. Grey just nodded as he proceeded to take out some papers before continuing. “So, Thranduil, I have your file here. Do you mind if we go through it together?”

“Sure.”

“So it says here that you were diagnosed with bipolar type 1 when you were eighteen? Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“It also states that you were just recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. And that you abuse substances and alcohol, have had bulimia in the past and have experienced symptoms of PTSD.”

Dr. Grey looked up at the blonde with curious eyes, hoping for him to say something, but hearing all of these truths about himself made Thranduil’s stomach ache. “I don’t really like talking about it.”

“You should talk about it though, it will help.”

“I know, everyone says that.”

“Then why don’t you tell me how you are feeling today?” Dr. Grey suggested.

Thranduil took in a large breath of air before exhaling an audible gasp. _God damnit._

“Ok fine. I feel like utter shit. Like I want to die. Like I am worthless and there will never be a purpose in this world for me.” He stopped, unable to find his words. The blonde knew if he continued he would end up crying. He was trying very hard to avoid that. Things tended to go downhill whenever his crying episodes began. “Can I just... not talk about how I feel today? I can tell you about anything else you want to know.” Thranduil proposed lamely.

“Why don’t you tell me about your childhood then?”

“God. That will take forever, but I can give you the short version.”

“That’s fine, whatever you feel comfortable sharing. “

“So, um, I’m an only child. I was a mistake. My parents didn’t want me. I don’t think they wanted children at all to be honest. I grew up in an upper class neighbourhood, I guess you could say. I never got along with those kinds of uppity people. I was a very unhappy, irritable kid and I liked to rebel a lot. I always threw the worst temper tantrums and I knew that my parents were extremely ashamed of my behaviour. When I was about six or seven years old the thing happened.”

“The thing?”

“The thing I never talk about.”

“Do you want to try?”

Thranduil grunted a sound of disdain, but decided he had nothing to lose. “Okay, so my parents worked a lot when I was growing up and I had this babysitter; she was one of my mother’s close friends. I think I was in grade one or something like that. I was very young and naive. So, after school she would pick me up and I would go to her place until my parents got home from work. It was her husband. He was strange as fuck. He would always say weird things to me. And even though I was like six years old I still knew it was not right for adults to be saying those things to children. It felt wrong. I became increasingly uncomfortable there. One time I fell asleep on the couch, I will never forget it, I woke up and her husband was like hovering over me. He fucking did things to me.”

Thranduil stopped talking as the tears began to sting his eyes. He didn’t want to say anything else. He didn’t want to remember the things he had been trying to erase from his memory for over half his life.

Dr. Grey didn’t speak, he waited patiently for Thranduil to collect his thoughts and continue.

“So, this man started to get even weirder as time went on. He would...touch me. In ways that I knew were wrong. I never said anything to anyone because I didn’t want to get in trouble. I don’t even know why, but I thought it was my fault, like I was being punished. Eventually the touching became worse. It was...well...he raped me, I guess.”

The tears were now dripping down Thranduil’s chin, onto his arms as he hurriedly tried wiping them away. If only he could wipe away the memories as easily.

Now that Thranduil had been talking openly he didn’t want to stop. He had more to say and now was the best time, for he may not get this opportunity again.

“I think that’s part of the reason why I have a lot of sex. Because I think it’s normal. If I fuck people, then they will like me. I want people to like me. I crave constant approval. I don’t know how to have proper relationships with people. I don’t know how to show my emotions. People say I’m cold but I think it’s just because I’m trying so hard to mask my feelings. I don’t want to let anyone in because I know they wouldn’t like the real me. I’m too damaged. So I just pretend to be someone else, someone they will like. I met a guy, and I already gave him oral sex. Like, what is wrong with me?! Why couldn’t I just talk to him like a normal person, get to know him? I really like him too, but no, I have to go and ruin it with my slutty ways. But whatever, what’s done is done, right? So, another thing that I should tell you is that I do not have any parents; they are both dead. I bet you already read all of that information in your files there. But, yeah, I have no real family. I am pretty much a wandering gypsy. I have no permanent home. I live with random friends, or I sleep in the park. Nature calms me; I feel one with nature. So yes, my life is not very stable and I think that greatly affects my mood. I don’t know how to be a ‘grown up’, I can’t drive, I haven’t gone to college long enough to get a degree. I can’t hold a job. I basically fail anything I try. I always seem to end up back here and I hate it. I want to be happy. I want to live my life.”

Thranduil had been twisting a piece of his hair around his index finger and didn’t realize how tight it was until his finger started to go numb. Talking about all of this was making him feel on edge but at the same time it really did feel good to let it all out in a safe environment.

He continued talking to Dr. Grey about his childhood and the death of his parents and how it all affected him. He was only twelve years old when his father died and it was hard to get through, even though the two were never very close. It had severely impacted his mother. He described her death as her ‘fading’, like she just did not have the desire or will to go on without her husband. By the age of nineteen, Thranduil was completely alone.

He told Dr. Grey about his drug use and alcohol problems, how he used it as a crutch, as a method of numbing out his pain. He shared as much information as he possibly could, hoping that maybe, just maybe, things could get better if he was honest.

They discussed medication changes and decided that Thranduil needed to slowly wean off of the benzodiazepines. They created a crisis plan and Thranduil was given countless mental health resources in the community. Dr. Grey thought it would be a good idea for him to attend an 8 week day program at a local mental healthcare facility, where he could fully immerse himself in his recovery.

Thranduil disliked the word recovery because he knew he could never actually be ‘recovered’ from bipolar disorder. There was no cure, only management. That’s all it was, plain and simple. Just learn to manage the moods and using coping skills to get through the tough times. The illness will always be there.

He left Dr. Grey’s office feeling a lot more hopeful than he had in a very long time. Maybe he could do this. Maybe he could have a stable life. It was in his hands, he just had to play the cards right.

The blonde strutted down the hallway, on his way back to the activity room to finish playing the piano. He did promise them a show after all, and a show they would get!

Smaug was sitting on the ground tracing patterns into the floor tile when Thranduil walked by.

“Did you see Dr. Grey?” Smaug asked without looking up.

“Yeah. He was pretty cool. Kinda weird but whatever.”

“So, do you wanna do that now?” Smaug questioned as he stood up off the floor.

“Do what?”

“You know, what we were talking about earlier, before you freaked out.”

“I’m not sucking that pathetic excuse for a dick.” Thranduil scoffed as he rolled his eyes overdramatically.

“Lies! You’d fuck anything that walks, but you won’t give me a blowjob? C’mon Thrandy, don’t be difficult.” Smaug said as his voice became more demanding.

“I’m not six years old anymore, asshole, I can say no.”

“You don’t know how to say no. We already went over this. You’re a slut.”

“I am fully capable of saying no. That’s exactly what I’m doing right now. I’m saying no. Never. And yes, I may have been a bit promiscuous in the past, but that’s all going to change. I’m turning over a new leaf!”Thranduil stated boldly.

“Shit. What kinda magic did Dr. Grey use on you?” Smaug laughed as he stalked away to his room.

Dr. Grey must be some sort of powerful, magical wizard, seeing as Thranduil had never felt this good before. It could always be a manic episode coming on, but he didn’t like the thought of that. He would much rather live on his pink cloud for the time being, before it disappeared altogether.

First thing tomorrow he was going to make things right with Bard. The plan was in place!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to get Thranduil out of the hospital soon!


	5. The Text Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard does something stupid and it quickly becomes a cycle of stupidity.  
> He can't get out of his own head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor little cinnamon roll!
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Alcohol consumption, drunkenness
> 
> Think thats it. Not many triggers when it's from Bard's POV ^-^

Bard trudged back to the entrance of the hospital; feet feeling overly heavy, like every step was a task. He was tremendously flustered and upset at himself for being so easily manipulated by that beautiful blonde angel. No, not an angel at all, more like a devil in disguise.

He cursed himself for not only being so easily fooled, but for getting so caught up in the moment that they ended up being caught. What a nightmare. What an embarrassment. The situation felt even more awkward because Bard actually had feelings for Thranduil.

_Ugh._ He didn’t even want to think of that name. It hurt to think it. He was just a stranger after all, no need to try getting all personal by using his name. But, what they had done together was definitely personal; unless that was the kind of thing the blonde did with anyone and everyone he met. Bard had no way of knowing. He told himself to just stay away, to not get involved lest he get his heart broken. He knew the feeling of heart break and he didn’t want any part of it. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that they had been caught. There really was no point in getting to know someone who was only going to use you anyway.

That thought wasn’t going to stop Bard from texting Thranduil though. He was curious and regardless of feeling manipulated and used, he figured he would give the blonde the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps if he got to know Thranduil in a different setting, or maybe if they could just talk and get to know each other without any distractions, then things might take a turn for the better. Bard could only hope. It had been a long time since he felt this way about anyone and truthfully it scared him. He didn’t want to give his heart away only to have it stomped on by such a beautifully compelling creature.

Bard hadn’t stopped repeating Thranduil’s phone number in his head. As soon as he got back to the gift shop he went straight to the break room, took out his phone and entered the number. He saved it under ‘The Death of Me’. That was what Thranduil would be. He would kill Bard with his alluring beauty and charm.

Bilbo was cashing out a customer at the time the brunette had come back in, so he couldn’t hound Bard with an infinite amount of questions, but Bard knew it would be coming. Oh yes. Bilbo loved gossip and would have to know every little detail of what happened between him and Thranduil. Bard didn’t know if he felt comfortable disclosing this kind of information but he knew of all people, Bilbo could be trusted.

Bard swallowed his pride and went back to work, hoping the day would go by quickly and he could go home in one piece.

“So?!” Bilbo questioned as he flitted over to Bard’s side. “What happened? You were gone for a while! What did you say to him? Tell me everything!” Bilbo’s string of questions caught Bard off guard, so he chuckled nervously, unsure of what exactly to tell his friend.

“Well, uh, I got his number.” Was all Bard could come up with. He didn’t want to tell him about the shameful half blow job in the trees. He’d like to pretend that didn’t even happen.

“Good! And?” Bilbo asked, eyes looking up at him knowingly. “Something more must’ve happened, Bard. You’ve been gone for far too long to only have gotten his number.”

Bard blushed profusely, knowing he couldn’t keep this kind of secret from Bilbo. He sighed as he tried to put the right words together.

“He, uh – well, we, I don’t know…” Bard stammered hoping Bilbo could just figure it out without him actually having to spell it out.

“You made out with him, didn’t you?!” Bilbo practically squealed, smile beaming on his round face.

“Well, maybe…”

“Oh my god, Bard! And you thought you’d get rejected!”

“And more than that too…” Bard added sheepishly.

“MORE?! Like _more_ , more? Like-”

“Yes, you know, more…” Bard stated, widening his eyes and tilting his head. He was pretty sure Bilbo understood what he meant.

“NO WAY!!! Bard Bowman! I cannot believe it! You had sex with him outside?!”

“No, no, no! Not sex, per se. He sorta, um, gave me a, uh, a blow job.” Bard forced the words out feeling quite foolish having to say it aloud. C’mon Bilbo, don’t be so dense, he thought.

“Jesus Christ and all that is holy!” Bilbo exclaimed looking to the sky. “You animal!”

“I know! It’s so not like me.”

“Was it good?” Bilbo asked in anticipation.

“There was an interruption.” Bard said grimly, huffing in a breath of air.

“What kind of interruption?”

“Oh, well…some guy caught us.” Bard said, rolling his eyes as he thought back to the greasy little man and his dreadful expression when he saw what Bard and Thranduil had been up to in public.

“No! Oh god, what guy?” Bilbo scoffed.

“A guy that was in the group of people that Thranduil went out there with. It was so uncomfortable. But maybe it’s for the best.”

“What do you mean ‘for the best’?” Bilbo questioned, looking more than a little confused.

“It’s probably better that it was cut short. I should just forget about him, you know? I don’t need someone using me.” Bard explained.

“What makes you think he’s using you?”

“Because no one does those kinds things with a complete stranger!”

“Maybe he doesn’t know how to express himself.” Bilbo suggested.

“He could try talking.” Bard mused, clearly not impressed with Bilbo’s hypothesis.

“He’s probably just as nervous as you. And I don’t think he was using you.”

“It’s like he was programmed to just get on his knees, as bad as that sounds.”

“He could be a sex addict!”

“Oh lord, maybe.” Bard said as he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

“I think he likes you though, Bard. Just give him a chance.”

“I don’t know.” Bard replied tentatively as he picked up the duster.

“Hey, why don’t we go out for drinks tonight? Get your mind off all this.” Bilbo proposed, trying to get Bard to have a little fun for a change.

“I guess so.”

“It’s Saturday! Come on, you’re off tomorrow aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m off tomorrow, but I don’t know…” Bard hesitated, visibly uncomfortable with the idea in general.

“It’ll be fun, Bard! Live a little!”

“Okay, okay, we can go out. I’ll do it, but only to get you to shut up.” Bard laughed as he started dusting the shelves that Bilbo couldn’t reach.

“Yay!”

 

\------

 

Bard and Bilbo ended up at a local bar called ‘The Prancing Pony’, which was thankfully located quite close to Bard’s house, a 20 minute walk at most. The brunette was certainly not planning on getting too drunk, but if the mood hit, then at least he was close to home and didn’t have to worry about his car.

They arrived at the bar at around 10:00pm and Bard was already feeling a bit uptight about the whole ordeal. He didn’t normally drink but at the same time he knew it was normal for people his age to engage in this sort of behavior, so he didn’t want to act like a mother hen. He told himself he would not be a buzz kill tonight. He would relax, let loose and actually enjoy himself. He deserved it.

The Prancing Pony was a cozy, homey place. The atmosphere was inviting despite the people that frequented it. Some of them were downright scary. They looked like they could be in a biker gang or something. Bard was feeling a bit edgy but luckily Bilbo didn’t seem to have any problem with being there, so that soothed the brunette a little.

They shuffled their way over to the bar, pushing past a few overly sweaty men on their way there.

_Ugh. It stinks_ , Bard thought. _They could really use some febreeze in here._

Bilbo was chatting away with the bartender as Bard got lost in his thoughts of Thranduil for the millionth time today. Was Thranduil truly interested in him? Could he possibly have feelings for Bard? Was it just a hookup because the blonde was bored? Was he actually a sex addict like Bilbo thought? What other problems was he hiding? Bard wanted to unveil every deep dark secret Thranduil kept from the world.

“Curse this baby face!” Bilbo hollered, pulling Bard back to reality. “They always ID me, geeze, I’m twenty-three years old!”

“You look about sixteen though!” Bard replied, chuckling lightly.

“I guess that’s a good thing. When I’m fifty, I’ll only look thirty-five!” Bilbo joked, as he took the first sip of his beer. “What are you gonna get?”

Bard thought about it for a few seconds, fingers running through his chin-stubble as he made his decision.

“I think I’ll get vodka with redbull.” He said to the bartender before presenting his ID. Bard immediately felt stupid.

The brunette never was much of an energy drink fan, but it reminded him of Thranduil and how thrilled he was in the gift shop at the prospect of getting a redbull. It was undeniably adorable.

“You’re gonna be bouncing off the ceiling!” Bilbo laughed as he started to chug his beer. For a little guy he really could pound a beer with the best of them.

Bard didn’t know how well he would handle his alcohol. He had been told before that he was a lightweight and usually ended up passing out after three or four drinks.

He took a small sip of his beverage to test the waters. _Not so bad. A little strong, but it could be worse_ , he thought as the vodka tickled the back of his throat leaving nothing behind but a minor burning sensation.

“Chug, chug, chug!” Bilbo chanted, hoping to get Bard drunk as quickly as possible.

“I’m not sure if I should.” Bard mused, wondering how sick he would be by the end of the night if he ‘chugged’ all his drinks the way Bilbo did. And, really, it wasn’t fair at all because Bilbo was drinking beer, and Bard had liquor. He started doubting his choice, thinking it probably would’ve been better to stick to something less potent, but what’s done is done.

“Do it, Bard, don’t be a baby!”

“Maybe I should’ve gotten a beer like you!”

“Get one after this. You know the saying, ‘liquor before beer - you’re in the clear, beer before liquor – never sicker’!”

Bard laughed at Bilbo’s ridiculous drinking theory as he put the glass up to his lips and tilted his head back to take it all in one swig. God, it burned and he could feel a slight warmth in the pit of his stomach. He slammed the empty glass down onto the bar with a bit too much force, beckoning the bartender over.

“I’ll have another, thanks.” Bard said, already feeling vaguely light-headed and flushed.

“Oh shit! Someone’s gonna get hammered tonight!” Bilbo snickered as he asked the bartender for another beer.

Time became of little concern as the two friends enjoyed their drinks, played darts and ordered way too many onion rings. By now, Bard was on his eighth drink, feeling extremely inebriated. His legs were playing tricks on him. When he was sitting all was well, but the second he stood up the ground became unsteady and his vision blurred so much that he couldn’t help but run into chairs and other people.

It felt like he was in a dream, as though his body was floating along, acting before he could even think about what he was doing. Bilbo wasn’t nearly as drunk as Bard; he drank six beers and ate a lot of greasy food to help ebb his intoxication.

Bard was leaning over the bar when Bilbo came up beside him, almost knocking a stool over, before he grabbed Bard by the arm and attempted to pull the brunette up.

“Yeah? ‘M fine. What’re you doing?” Bard asked as he quickly stood up, falling backwards unto the floor. A ripple of laughter escaped his lips as Bilbo tried frantically to pull him up off the ground.

“Baaaard! Don’t embarrass me!”

“Oh, pish posh. You w-wanted me t’ get druuunk! So here I am!” Bard spoke boisterously as he rose slowly to his feet, trying to retain his footing. He didn’t want to fall over again and somehow embarrass poor, sweet Bilbo. What a shame that would be.

“Let’s get some air” Bilbo suggested, as he lead Bard to the door without waiting for a reply from the brunette.

They stumbled out of the exit and found a place to sit on the concrete blocks in front of a parking space. Bard let his head fall between his knees as Bilbo shuffled his legs back and forth.

They were not the only ones outside the bar. A few others were standing around smoking and laughing jovially with each other. Bard was feeling adventurous so he stood up shakily and walked over to them, somehow managing to keep his balance.

“Hey, do you have a smoke?” Bard asked, eyes darting around, unable to focus on one spot for too long.

A heavily tattooed man handed Bard a cigarette and a lighter as Bard fumbled to get the smoke lit properly, seeing as his damn hands would not stop shaking. The man was kind enough to light the cigarette for Bard as the brunette stumbled back over to Bilbo.

“Whooo! This tastes awful!” Bard stated as he plunked back down onto the parking block. Bilbo was on his phone, undoubtedly drunk texting his janitor-crush.

“Bard,” Bilbo exclaimed wildly as he looked up to see the brunette puffing away on a cigarette, “What are you d-doing? You have never, ever, _ever_ smoked!”

“I’m in the moooood t-tonight, Bil. Thought I would try i-it out!” Bard laughed at himself because he found the taste of smoke revolting and he didn’t understand why anyone in the right mind would ever inhale this shit on purpose.

Bard immediately thought of Thranduil. Such a beautiful, ethereal being filling his perfect body with chemicals and toxins; how sad. Yet, for some reason Bard thought it was kind of attractive. Maybe it was just a drunken thought.

“Thranduil is _sooo_ hot. Like, I can’t even d-deal with it.” Bard blurted out unable to stop himself.

“Ow ow, someone’s in love!”

“Yeah, that’s me, in l-love with a st-stranger.”

“Well, I mean, you kinda know him.” Bilbo shot a mock-disgusted look at Bard as he laughed out loud.

“He’s good w-with that pretty mouth of his. Fuck.” Bard didn’t have the ability to stop the words from rolling off his tongue and he was not in the state of mind to care. He knew Bilbo liked the gossip anyway. Bilbo giggled upon hearing Bard’s drunken confession, not saying a word, just waiting for the brunette to continue.

“He’s so perfect; I j-just wanna take him to bed and _show him_ how amazing he really is. He totally deserves to be l-loved. I think he’s sad. He doesn’t seem o-okay. I want to make ev-everything okay for him.” Bard said, speech becoming increasingly slurred as he made his declaration to Bilbo.

“You’re gonna marry him!” Bilbo joked, head falling into his hands as he struggled with his composure.

“Yes, we are gonna have a wedding in the woods! I’ll make him a crown of twigs and flowers.”

“Like Jesus!” Bilbo proclaimed loudly enough for anyone within a 10 mile radius to hear.

“Better than Jesus, a million times better! Jesus ain’t got shit on my blonde minx.”

“Jesus does not appreciate the hate, Bard!”

“Psh! Thranduil’s hair is like sssilk and it s-smells divine. I want to smother myself in it all night long, until I can no longer b-breathe!”

“Bard?” Bilbo asked quietly, sounding as though he could possibly be sick at any moment.

“Mmm?”

“Let’s walk, I think I might throw up and I don’t want to do it here.”

Bard was now sitting on the ground, legs sprawled out in front of him, burnt out cigarette still between his fingers. He tossed it as he went to stand up beside his friend, grabbing Bilbo’s outstretched arm for support.

They started walking home, both silent now, as Bard pulled out his phone and sent a text to ‘The Death of Me’. He was too drunk to rationalize what he was about to do, so he just went ahead and did it.

_Yu are soo fuvkin sexy i want ti fuckk u so bad_

Bard hit send and put his phone back in his pocket, his mind a complete blur. But no, he didn’t stop with just one inappropriate text message. He sent more.

_want u in mt bed ;)_

_gona bend u ovwr nd fuvk u unyil u cant walk_

_ill fyck u all night evry night.on teh floor. ftom behinf as I grab tht sexy blondw haiir. Ill cum in ur moutj as u gag ion my cock ;)_

The brunette smirked to himself, thinking he was being so suave and seductive that Thranduil couldn’t possibly refuse him, ever.

When they finally reached Bard’s house, the two friends stumbled into the entrance as quietly as possible so they would not wake the brunette’s parents. 2:37am the clock read as Bard made his way to his bedroom, not even thinking of where Bilbo ended up. Although he knew his friend was most likely about to pass out on the couch.

Bard kicked off his shoes as best he could and plopped down onto the softness of his bed. He was out before his head managed to hit the pillow.

\----

Bard’s eyes openly languidly as he stretched out on his bed. _Why am I on top of the covers, with all my clothes on? Oh god, my head is pounding_ , he thought.

He yawned and rubbed his hands over his face trying to piece together images from last night. _Too much alcohol, way too much alcohol._ He practically flopped out of his bed, sliding down to the floor, just sitting there trying to remember anything he could.

The brunette dragged his feet lethargically as he made his way to the living room where Bilbo was still asleep on the couch. 10:18am. He looked out the window noticing that his parents’ car was not in the driveway, something he was extremely grateful for. Bard made his way to the bathroom and groaned as he took off his clothes, not wanting to have to move but he knew a nice shower might make him feel better.

The shower honestly didn’t do much to make his headache go away and he still felt like an invisible weight was pulling him down, making it difficult to do anything at all. He put on fresh clothes as he picked up his phone and checked his messages. Maybe his parents texted him saying where they went off to.

Oh my god. A conversation with ‘The Death of Me'. _Thranduil!_ Bard opened the chat window and nearly screamed out loud when he saw the drunken text messages he had sent to the blonde.

_Oh fuck. Oh shit._

Bard didn’t know how much more he could have possibly embarrassed himself. This was horrible. He had no idea what to do about it. He played out different scenarios in his head and the outcome was always bad. Really bad. He would be ridiculed for life by the one person whose approval he desired most.

The shame and guilt washed over him like a tidal wave; there was absolutely no stopping it. He considered just explaining to the blonde how drunk he was, which was in no way a lie, and that he accidentally sent those messages, or that it wasn’t even meant for him but rather meant for someone else entirely. Then Bard would look like a whore. There was no winning.

He figured he could just ignore the incident altogether, hoping Thranduil would just laugh it off, once he had his phone again that is. At least Bard was in the clear for a little while. But then again time might just make it worse, especially if he was planning on getting to know Thranduil between now and then.

The blonde wouldn’t know who sent the text messages though; Bard could always change his number to avoid the mortifying consequences of his drunken stupidity. But even that was a little bit much, Bard thought.

He tried to distract himself, but ended up doing so in the worst way possible. He went on facebook and typed ‘Thranduil’ into the search bar. He figured that name was not common so he would probably find the blonde right away. And he did. ‘Thranduil Oropherion’ showed up as the first and only result, with a picture of a familiar face covered by long blonde hair as his display picture. His profile was public so Bard decided a bit of lurking was in order.

Bard’s heart was beating faster and his breath hitched as he clicked onto Thranduil’s profile page. Time to see what his crush was really like.

After he stopped staring at the beautiful picture of Thranduil with his hair whisked over one side of his face, Bard read the About Me section.

THRANDUIL. 22. LIBRA. GYPSY. XXX

That’s it? Nothing more personal? Bard moved on to look at his pictures. He had a few different albums. First he checked out Thranduil’s previous display pictures. They were all beautiful photos, some up close, and others with his whole body in the frame. Most of them contained some sort of artsy filter.

In one photo the blonde wore a crown made out of branches as he sat upon a tree stump in a forest, looking particularly regal. The next one was of him suggestively licking a half empty whisky bottle. The third was a selfie taken while he was lying down on a bed, chin resting upon the palm of his hand, hair wet and stringy, eyes looking downward, and he appeared to be wearing nothing at all! Bard was shocked. Some of these were incredibly seductive pictures that literally anyone could look at. The rest of his default pictures were just selfies taken from different angles, none of them too different from the others.

Bard hesitantly looked through his albums. Drunk pictures with friends, mostly, as well as many, _many_ artistic nature shots. A red-headed girl was in most of the party pictures, the two of them acting rather silly, but Bard thought it was kind of cute. That is until he got to a picture of Thranduil sitting behind some guy with long dark hair, his arms wrapped around this guy’s waist. Then another of him straddling the same guy’s lap, and another of Thranduil licking his face.

_Okay, fuck it_ , Bard thought, as knots started to twist around inside his chest. _No more pictures_.

The brunette convinced himself it wasn’t a crime to look at his wall. Just see what kind of things he posts about.

‘Be gone for a while motherfuckers xx’

‘Fuck my life!’

‘gettin shitfaced drunk….again ;)’

‘I am nothing. I am worthless.’

Wow. Bard felt a strange, unpleasant feeling brewing in the pit of his stomach as he cringed at all of the blonde’s negative statuses. And who was that guy with the long dark hair?

Bard knew he should not be feeling this way; he didn’t even know Thranduil apart from the blow job the blonde had given him in the damn loading dock at the hospital. He was beginning to think maybe Bilbo was right about him being a sex addict. Every little thing Bard had viewed so far on his facebook was pointing to him having some sort of serious issue. Though Bard was never one to judge others based on their problems, or their past - he knew too well that people can change, for the better or the worse.

Despite the fact that the only information he knew about the blonde was oh so scandalous, Bard was still utterly captivated and he had been since the moment he first laid eyes on the beautiful Thranduil. There was no changing his feelings now.

He wasn’t going to let his facebook findings or his embarrassing text messages veer him off course of what he truly wanted. He was going to _know_ the blonde personally. Screw the façade of social media; he wanted to know the _real_ Thranduil.

On Monday he would finally confess his true feelings, come hell or high water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a big ol' plot twist coming, ehe :3


	6. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye crazies :)

Thranduil had been in the activity room playing the piano when he got a call from his best friend. She had been out of the country for a while visiting relatives, so she had no idea that Thranduil was in the hospital. He knew she would figure it out though; 5 Centre was like his second home.

“Thranduil? You have a phone call.” One of the nurses announced to him as he was in the middle of playing the third movement of sonata no. 14. That song was very close to his heart as well.

He stopped abruptly and got up so quickly that everything went black for a second. “Okay, I’m coming!” He hollered.

Thranduil practically tripped over his own feet as ran to the phone. To be honest, he thought it was probably Tracey calling about something or another, but he was delighted to discover who was on the other end waiting to hear his voice.

“Hello?” He answered, as he sat down on the couch, curling up into a ball as he lounged back into the cushions.

“THRAN!” An excited voice greeted him.

“Tauriel?! Oh my god. It’s you!”

“What the hell happened? I came back from Europe and you were gone!” She said, voice becoming laced with curiosity.

“I know, I’m sorry. But, you know me. Shit gets real and I bail. I sorta freaked out, I guess. So I came here. I didn’t trust myself alone.” He explained, knowing she would fully understand and back his decision.

“Well, shit. I’m glad you went to the hospital. How are you doing now?”

“I’m feeling much better now. I just want to get out of here.” He sighed, as he stretched out his legs, getting more comfortable on the couch.

“When will you get out?”

“In a few days, I think. I talked to the doctor and it actually went pretty fucking good.”

“Good, I’m glad! I hope you get out soon. I haven’t seen your face in over a month. Geeze!”

“I know. This sucks. It’s so, so, _so_ boring in here.” Thranduil complained.

“We can do something when you get out, okay?” Tauriel suggested, knowing the blonde would want to have a bit of fun once he was free.

“Yes, literally anything. I need some mental stimulation. I feel like a rat in a cage.”

“Poor baby.” Tauriel chuckled lightly. “You’ll be out soon enough, don’t worry.”

“Oh,” Thranduil started, changing the topic altogether, “I met someone.”

“What do you mean, you met someone?” Tauriel questioned with a hint of suspicion in her tone.

“He’s just this really perfect, beautiful guy.”

“A patient?” She asked, sounding a little worried at the thought.

“Dear god, no! He works at the gift shop.” Thranduil laughed.

“Good, you need someone stable.”

“I may have fucked it up though. Already.”

Thranduil could hear a lot of shuffling on Tauriel’s end, like she was moving around and cleaning up.

“Sorry, Thran. I gotta go now. Tell me about it later. I’ll call you okay? Kili is just getting home.”

“Okay, Tau, I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you! Bye”

“Love you too.”

Thranduil sighed as he got up off the couch and walked to his room. It was nearly five o’clock and they would be serving dinner shortly. He was also expecting a visit from Tracey, who would be bringing him actual clothes to wear. Thank the lord; no more gown!

As the blonde made his way to his room he was stopped by a worker who told him that Dr. Grey would like to see him again in the morning. Thranduil knew what that would be about. He’s been in and out of 5 Centre enough to know that the second meeting with the head psychiatrist meant he was getting his evaluation and they would tell him when they planned on sending him on his way.

He got an excited feeling in his chest, hoping that he wouldn’t have to be stuck here for too much longer. He was no longer a threat to himself and had a better outlook on life at this point in time. Although that could always change at the drop of a dime. His emotions and moods could be unpredictable, even when all was going well. Thranduil hoped for the best.

He sat down on his bed and decided to write a bit more in his journal before dinner was served. He tried to write positive things. Affirmations, goals, hopes and dreams; things that made him feel good.

The blonde ate his dinner with Smaug and a few others. He didn’t pay much attention to their mindless chatter, only speaking briefly and trying not to let them alter his mood. He just kept thinking that he would be out soon and none of this mattered. If things went well, he would never see any of these damn people again.

Dinner was pretty bland but at least it was better than nothing. Thranduil called Tracey to see when she would be showing up, which she confirmed would be in less than an hour. And because she was his counselor, he could leave the ward with her for a while. He badly wanted a doughnut from the coffee shop, and a cigarette of course.

The blonde sat at an empty table in the activity room watching Smaug and Sauron playing cards from afar. My god, those two were weird. They reminded Thranduil of villains straight out of a gritty black and white movie from the 50’s.

When he finally got tired of just sitting there, he went and sat on the couch in the lounge where a few older ladies were watching ‘The Young and the Restless’. God, what a perfect title to describe himself.

He knew he was really bored when he tried to actually watch the show and follow the storyline. It was horrible. How could people actually be entertained by this awful acting, he thought?

“C’mon Victor Newman, you idiot, get your shit together!” Thranduil yelled at the screen, causing a synchronization of shushing to be directed his way.

Just then, Tracey showed up to save him from his agonizing boredom. She was carrying a bag of what was presumably his change of clothes and she had his phone with her. He had specifically asked her to bring it. He knew he could finally check his messages once he was allowed out of 5 Centre with her.

“Hey you.” She greeted as the blonde walked over to her and gave her a hug.

“Hey, thanks for coming and bringing my stuff.”

She handed him the bag of clothes and his phone as they walked down the hallway toward his room. Thranduil wanted to change straight away. He literally felt like a lifeless shell of himself while wearing the hospital gown. Now, with his own clothes, he could be free.

Tracey sat down on his bed going through messages on her phone as Thranduil dug through the contents of the bag, pulling out some black leggings and a shirt. He pulled on the leggings as fast as he could and ripped off the gown, replacing it with his oversized flannel shirt that hung down just past his ass.

So. Much. Better.

“Can we go for a smoke now?” Thranduil asked, taking a seat beside the dark-haired woman as she tucked her phone into her back pocket.

“Of course. I’ll just have to tell the workers that I’m taking you out for a bit and then we can go.” She told him.

“Okay, sounds good.”

“You feel better now that you’ve got your own clothes?” She asked; clearly his demeanor was a dead giveaway. “You look more confident all of a sudden.”

“Oh yes, so much more confident, not to mention comfortable. Thanks for bringing this for me. And my phone. Which is almost dead, and has no service.” Thranduil said as he gazed down at his phone screen, which suddenly went black. “Dead now.”

“Oh, sorry. You know me and technology. I’ll have to get your charger.”

“That’s okay, I don’t really need it. I only really wanted it so I could see if that asshole messaged me. Or if Leanna tried to contact me, which she probably hasn’t.”

“Then maybe it’s better that the battery died.” Tracey said, knowing how toxic his previous relationships were and how any contact with his ex could negatively impact his wellbeing.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Have you been talking to Leanna?”

“I tried to contact her, but of course she’s ignoring me. She can’t do this, it’s not fair. Like, I know she’s using or something; it’s not a good environment and I feel the need to intervene, yet I apparently have no rights according to her.”

Just as Tracey was about to speak Thranduil cut her off.

“But let’s not talk about that please. I shouldn’t have mentioned her. I need to forget it. Can we go out now? I want a doughnut and a cigarette.”

“Yes. We can go. I just wanted to ask how you were doing today. What happened to your hand?”

“I’m actually feeling pretty good, and this,” Thranduil said holding out his hand to examine the now tattered gauze bandage, “this is a result of a very foolish decision.”

He got up off the bed in hopes that Tracey would stop talking and just follow him to the exit so they could make their way out of this damn place.

“I’m fine though,” he continued, “I learned my lesson. No more oral sex with strangers.” He grabbed his long cardigan from the bed post and flung it over his shoulders like a cape as he made his way to the door.

“What?!” Tracey shouted, eyes going wide, mouth dropping open so she almost looked like an animated character.

“I was bad.” Thranduil giggled through pursed lips.

“With who?!”

“No one in here, don’t worry.”

“Then who?”

“Remember the hot guy from the gift shop?” The blonde said with a sheepish grin.

“Thranduil!!!”

“Oops. Hopefully in time he will no longer be a stranger.”

“We’ve talked about this.” Tracey spoke, tone becoming more serious. “It’s detrimental to your mental health when you do things like this; you end up hurting yourself because you feel guilty.”

“I know.” He said with a sigh. “I fucked up, like usual, but I don’t want to dwell on it and let it ruin my good mood.”

“Okay, but I’m just curious. Why did you do it?” She asked gently.

“Because I have no idea how to normally interact with people.”

“You interact with people here.”

“But I don’t give a shit about the people here. I don’t want them to like me. I’m not trying to impress them. But, yes I know I need to learn how to communicate and express my feeling without doing sexual things, but it’s hard when that’s all I’ve ever been exposed to.” Thranduil explained, getting slightly annoyed at the direction the conversation was headed.

“That’s why you need to try new ways of doing things, new behaviours, and the more you do things differently the more normal it will become. Then the healthy ways will be your automatic response and it will stop feeling so difficult.”

“I know. I’m going to try. I swear. I really want to get out of here.”

They stopped at the nurses’ station so Tracey could sign Thranduil out. The blonde lounged against the desk, snapping his fingers as he beckoned for his pack of cigarettes.

As they got to the main floor of the hospital, Thranduil walked slowly out of the elevator, hesitating with each step he took.

“What’s wrong?” Tracey asked as she looked back at him.

“He might still be working.” Thranduil said, pointing to the gift shop.

“So what?”

“I’m shy.”

“Shy? You’re anything but shy!” She laughed lightly.

“Well I am now. Just let me hide behind you.”

“You’re like a foot taller than me, there is no hiding now. Time to deal with the consequences of your actions!”

“I’m just gonna crouch and run.” The blonde said, attempting to hide behind Tracey as they walked to the exit.

“That will make it even more obvious.” She chuckled.

“He’s probably done work now anyway and I’m just worrying for nothing.”

“Exactly, no need to worry about it. Are you eventually going to talk to him, or are you just going to hide out forever?”

“Tomorrow, perhaps. I need to prepare myself.”

“Not sexually I hope.”

“Oh my god, Tracey! You’re worse than me. No, not _prepare_ myself sexually, more like mentally so I don’t freak out.”

“Good. Don’t have sex with him.”

“Not yet at least.”

Tracey rolled her eyes at the blonde who was hunched over trying not to be seen by his crush, who apparently wasn’t even there in the first place.

“He’s not even there Thranduil; not that I can tell.”

“Okay good.”

“So, how did everything go with Dr. Grey?” Tracey asked him as they made their way out of the doors and took a seat at a picnic table.

“It was fine.” Thranduil said as he took out a cigarette and lit it with a rainbow colored lighter. “I actually told him stuff this time. I was honest, for the most part. I did not want to talk about ‘you know what’ because I feel like shit about it and I’m ashamed of myself for essentially being a horrible person.”

“How do you plan on dealing with that?”

“I’m going to do what I can. I need to talk to Leanna, but I know she’s pissed at me, and she has every right to be, I get it. I’d feel the same if I was in her position. I haven’t been trustworthy. I need to prove myself and stop running.”

“That’s good. I’m proud of you for wanting to make things right.”

“I’m trying.”

Thranduil and Tracey had a few cigarettes and then went in to the coffee shop because the blonde was craving a cinnamon French toast bagel. He didn’t care about getting a doughnut anymore. The cinnamon was calling his name and he couldn’t refuse such a delicious treat.

When Thranduil went back up to 5 Centre it was late enough that he decided he would just go straight to bed. He wanted to be up in time for breakfast and he was eager to hear Dr. Grey’s verdict.

When he woke up he could feel that it was still early because it was just too quiet. He lazily put on his cardigan and shuffled out into the hallway to find out what the time really was. A few patients were walking around the hallway like usual – killing time of course. They were bored; everyone was bored. It was the nature of things in such a place as this.

It was only 6:04am. Thranduil was never, _ever_ awake this early. The thought alone seemed foreign to him. Usually he would just be getting to bed at this time. He had always been a night owl. He felt safe at night. He felt like it was his time to do whatever he pleased – to be himself, to be free.

The blonde sluggishly sat down on the couch and stared blankly at the television, when all of a sudden someone sat down next to him.

“Hey.” Spoke the young man with the chestnut colored hair.

“Hey.” Thranduil responded, not sure why this guy was talking to him. They had never conversed before.

“It’s Thranduil, right?”

“That’s me. What’s your name? We’ve never officially met.”

“I’m Meludir. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. So...how are things?” Thranduil spoke slowly, unsure of what to talk about with this person he’d never once spoken to.

“Things are fine. I hate this place.”

“Don’t we all?” Thranduil joked as he flipped through channels trying to find something decent to watch while he waited for breakfast.

“Yeah. It sucks. When do you get out?”

“Hopefully soon. I’m seeing the doctor again today and then I’ll know.” Thranduil answered curtly, trying not to make eye contact with Meludir. _God, just fuck off._

“I’m stuck here for another week at least.”

“Poor you. Don’t let Smaug fuck with you too much when I’m gone.”

“That old guy who’s like obsessed with you?”

“That would be him.” The blonde chuckled, crossing one leg over the other as he lounged back into the lumpy pillows.

Meludir shifted closer to Thranduil on the couch, causing the blonde’s shoulders to stiffen. _What does this guy want?_

“I just wanted to tell you that I think you play the piano really well. It was brilliant.”

“Aw, thanks. I’m not as good as I used to be though.” Thranduil replied, trying to brush off the compliment.

“No, you really are amazing.” Meludir said softly, sliding even closer to Thranduil.

“Thank you.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?” Thranduil said stiffly. He could practically feel Meludir’s gaze becoming just a little too intense for comfort. He was quite attractive though, Thranduil had to admit.

“Are you single?”

A muffled laugh shot out of Thranduil’s mouth. He found it all so funny because he had fully expected it. He could tell exactly what this guy wanted from him. It seemed they all wanted the same thing.

“Yes. Why?”

“Because you’re pretty much the most gorgeous person I’ve ever seen in my whole life. That, and I’m lonely.”

“So you want us to fuck?” The blonde stated bluntly. It was like he could read this young man’s mind. So predictable.

“Well, I wouldn’t have put it like that.”

“No, of course not. You’re too sweet to put it like that.”

“So what do you think?” Meludir cooed into Thranduil’s ear as he twirled a strand of blonde hair between his fingers.

“Fuck.” Thranduil was at a loss for words and had no idea how to proceed. He really, _really_ wanted to have sex with someone, however, he wanted that someone to be Bard. But at the same time Meludir was good looking and he actually _wanted_ Thranduil.

“Is that a yes?”

“No. I can’t. It’s not right.”

“We don’t have to have sex. I can just...”

“No, no, no. You won’t just do anything. C’mon you don’t want to be this person. You don’t want to go around screwing random people you don’t even know. It’s not very becoming. You will end up like me and you will be unhappy with yourself. The guilt alone will kill you.”

“But, Smaug said you would be into it.”

“Oh god. Don’t listen to him.”

“Sorry.” Meludir said nervously.

“It’s fine. You’re probably a virgin anyway and I wouldn’t want to scar you for life with my perverted ways.” Thranduil winked at the young man who sat frozen on the couch, as he got up and walked off. Thranduil needed to get away from that situation. The last thing he needed was to be caught with his pants around his ankles for a second time at 5 Centre. Not this time, no.

He decided to take a cold shower since he was feeling a little turned on by his exchange with the poor, innocent Meludir. Thranduil could’ve totally fucked him and got away with it, but he wanted to be good for Bard. He would save himself for the moment he finally got to feel Bard’s perfect body between his thighs. _My God_.

Thranduil made his way to the showers slowly, undressing as he got there. Part of him was contemplating going back to find Meludir to invite him into the shower so he could take up the young man’s previous offer. Bard would never know. It’s not like it would mean anything; it’s not like the blonde even had anything with Bard to begin with. Thranduil was merely feeling tense and Meludir could be of great assistance in this situation.

Thranduil had not had sex in over three weeks, which was a new record for him. For that he felt somewhat proud, but also very, _very_ uncomfortably horny.

The thought of letting the chestnut-haired young man fuck him senseless in the showers was causing him to become half hard in his skin-tight leggings, the one article of clothing he had not yet removed.

The blonde gingerly rubbed his hand over his hardening length as he fantasized about what it would be like to have his way with someone as pure and inexperienced as Meludir. The thought was utterly sinful.

Thranduil knew he shouldn’t be so brazen as to pleasure himself where literally anyone could walk in and see, but he really didn’t care. The people at 5 Centre had seen much, much more from him in the past.

He slipped his leggings down and kicked them off and in one swift motion he rid himself of his baby pink briefs so he was now completely naked in the shower cubicle. His clothes were strewn about all over the floor; he couldn’t be bothered to fold them neatly.

Thranduil stroked his erection eagerly to the point of full arousal as he turned on the water and let it drench his hair. His breathing picked up and he let out a low moan as he rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock, toying with the metal of his erotic piercing.

He began pumping himself with long hard strokes thinking of what it would be like to fuck Bard. He tipped his head back in pleasure only to be startled when he heard the main door to the showers open.

Jesus Christ. Always interruptions!

The blonde immediately stopped touching himself as he stood there under the pressure of the water, listening for whoever could’ve possibly come in. Maybe he was just hearing things now. Maybe it was his subconscious fucking with him, telling him to stop being so dirty.

The distraction proved to be too much and he was pulled out of his aroused state, deciding to just turn the water on cold and forget about it. He would have Bard soon enough and it would be so much better than any pleasure he could possibly create with his own hands.

After he finished showering and changing his clothes, he went to grab his breakfast and wait for Dr. Grey. Time seemed to be passing excruciatingly slow so he decided to play some scrabble with Smaug and Sauron, laughing with them at all the sexual words he formed.

By 10 o’clock Thranduil had still not heard from the doctor. He had grown tired of playing board games with the two creepers so he was biding his time now by pacing around the hallway.

“C’mon you fucking wizard. I want to leave.” Thranduil complained aloud to himself.

It was as though the gods heard his prayers because within the next five minutes the blonde was informed that Dr. Grey wanted to see him.

His primary care worker took him to Dr. Grey’s office and gently knocked on the door. Thranduil’s mind was racing with excitement at the prospect of possible freedom lurking just around the corner.

“Hello Thranduil.” Dr. Grey spoke with ease as he motioned for Thranduil to sit down.

“Hi.”

“How are you today?”

“I’m good, thanks. I’ve been waiting to see you.”

“Yes, well, I’ve gone over your case and I would like to send you home today.”

“Oh, thank you!”

“We have contacted outpatient services and would like you to do the 8-week day program there. The classes will start soon. I have all the information here.” Dr. Grey said as he handed the blonde a package of papers.

“Now, I cannot force you to go, but it would be very beneficial for you and I think it may help you greatly. You are already signed up so you don’t have to worry about anything other than showing up.” Dr. Grey explained, as Thranduil fidgeted in his chair. He just wanted to leave. Now.

Dr. Grey kept talking for a while and Thranduil barely listened, his mind in other places completely.

“So, can I just leave?” Thranduil asked.

“Your primary worker will sign you out and return any of your personal belongings that you arrived with and then you are free to go. And hopefully we won’t be seeing each other soon.” Dr. Grey chuckled with a small grin forming on his wrinkled face.

“Hopefully not. Thank you for everything.” Thranduil replied before making his way out of the doctor’s office.

“WHOOO!” the blonde bellowed loudly into the hallway gaining a few stares in the process. Finally free. He would never have to see these people again if he could just keep his shit together.

Thranduil skipped delightedly to his room to gather what little items he had there before going to collect his other possessions and sign out at the nurses’ station.

“Thrandy!” A familiar voice called out. “Where are you going?”

“Oh, Smaug, I am leaving you!” Thranduil said, pure elation in his tone.

“No! You can’t leave me. What will I do here without your pretty face?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone else to sexually harass.”

“You know you like it, blondie.”

“Oh, shush.”

“I’ll see you later then?”

“Hopefully not. I don’t plan on returning.” Thranduil said as the nurse handed him his bag.

“Aw. Too bad.” Smaug replied, tightening his lips in a rather unappealing manner.

Thranduil rolled his eyes and laughed as he stepped forward and pressed a light kiss on Smaug’s lips. “There, something to remember me by, you disgusting creature.”

Smaug stood there dumbfounded as Thranduil made his way to the exit waving on the way out.

Fucking finally!! No more crazy people, no more stale bland food, and no more horrible soap operas. He was putting that shit behind him. It was in the past and he wouldn’t let himself go back.

The elevator couldn’t possibly be any slower. He pressed the buttons vigorously hoping it would make the human birdcage move quicker. When he finally got to the ground level he knew what he had to do. It was time to make a pit stop at the gift shop to see his beautiful brunette crush.

His pace quickened along with his heartbeat as he stepped into the gift shop entrance, looking around for Bard.

He wasn’t there apparently. Thranduil waltzed over to someone who was clearly an employee seeing as he was stocking the shelves.

“Excuse me? Is Bard working?” Thranduil asked, voice becoming more high-pitched as his mind wandered to the thought of finally being able to see Bard once again.

“Nope. He’s off today. He’ll be in tomorrow though.” The man replied not looking up from his task. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Thanks, but no, Bard is who I need, not you.” Thranduil stated bluntly as he walked off, leaving the man looking slightly confused.

The blonde fumbled around in his bag and dug out some change so he could make a very important phone call. Since it was a Sunday the buses were not running as often and Thranduil did not have the patience to wait. He needed to contact Tauriel. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too busy.

Thranduil thought he would be left in the dust, but Tauriel managed to answer on the sixth ring. She told him she would get there as soon as possible and that she would bring him a phone charger which he so desperately wanted.

While he was waiting for his best friend, Thranduil sat outside on the curb smoking the last of his cigarettes until the back of his throat burned. His mind kept drifting back to thoughts of Bard and how he was going to get the brunette to be his. No enticing him in sexual ways. He wanted to do this properly.

The blonde played out various scenarios and conversations in his head, hoping he could come up with the best combination of words and phrases to express how he actually felt on the inside; something he was definitely not very at ease doing. He had spent so long trying to run from his feelings that actually expressing them was a very weird idea indeed.

A car horn pulled him from his thoughts as he got up off the curb and bounded over to where Tauriel was waiting for him in her Honda civic.

Thranduil opened the passenger door and flung his bag on the floor as he hopped in and was greeted by his best friend. The car was particularly smoky and had a familiar skunk-like smell.

“Have you been hotboxing the car?” He asked Tauriel with a laugh.

“It was Kili’s idea, obviously!” She exclaimed before reaching over and giving the blonde a big bear hug. “I missed you, love!”

“I missed you too, how was Europe?”

“Ah, it was alright. A little too much family drama for my liking. Oh here,” She said as she handed him his phone charger.

“Thank you. Let me plug it in. My phone has been dead this entire time.” Thranduil said as he plugged the charger into the adapter Tauriel had in her car.

As Tauriel pulled out of the hospital parking lot, Thranduil impatiently waited for his phone to wake up.

“Hurry up, piece of shit.” He grumbled.

“Oh c’mon Thran, it’s not like anyone important texted you. I’m insulted that you’re more excited to see your texts than me!” Tauriel chuckled as she rolled down her window and lit a cigarette.

“I’m just curious.”

“Who cares if Elrond texted you? I thought it was over.”

“It is over, but I want to at least know if I still have an effect on him.”

“He’s not even worth it. He thinks he’s better than everyone and walks around like he’s the goddamn lord of the manor. You don’t need that in your life.”

“I know, I know.” Thranduil replied as the screen of his phone finally lit up and he was able to check his messages.

Eight new text messages.

The first two were from Elrond.

‘I miss you’ and ‘Where are you?’ were all that they said.

“Fuck that.” Thranduil exclaimed as he deleted the messages immediately.

The next two were from Leanna.

‘Thran?’, ‘We need to talk...’

Alright, good. He would call her back as soon as possible.

The last four messages were from an unknown number.

_‘Yu are soo fuvkin sexy i want ti fuckk u so bad_

_want u in mt bed ;)_

_gona bend u ovwr nd fuvk u unyil u cant walk_

_ill fyck u all night evry night.on teh floor. ftom behinf as I grab tht sexy blondw haiir. Ill cum in ur moutj as u gag ion my cock ;)’_

Thranduil’s eyes went wide as he gasped in shock at what he had just read. If his mind could form a thought it would just be a string of continuous exclamation marks.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tauriel looked over at her friend who was now smirking at his phone.

“What is it?” She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“Some random number just sent me...filthy sexual texts!” Thranduil squealed. He was rather impressed that he received these kinds of messages. But who was this stranger? Had Elrond changed his number so he could mess with Thranduil’s head? Was this all a big joke? Was it Smaug?! Oh dear lord!

“Oh my god, what does it say?!” She asked.

Thranduil read the texts to his friend and they giggled together at the dirtiness of the messages.

“Clearly drunk by the spelling mistakes.”

“Whatever, someone wants you!”

“I’m gonna text back.” Thranduil proclaimed before sending the most generic and unsexy text of his life.

_‘Who is this? ;)’_ was all he typed before hitting send.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how long Thranduil will feel good before his life turns to shit again? :3


	7. Gelato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard and Thranduil finally hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This took longer to write than I hoped. Major writer's block!  
> I feel like this has tons of spelling/grammar mistakes but I just want to post it so whatever.

Bard took a seat on the armchair beside the couch as he turned on the TV. He didn’t turn the volume up too high because Bilbo was still peacefully sleeping on the couch. Bard flipped around through the channels until he found something worth watching.

His head was still pounding and he couldn’t stop cursing himself for those damn text messages he had sent to Thranduil. He was also a little uneasy because of his stupid idea to lurk Thranduil on facebook. What a foolish thing to do. Nothing good ever came from lurking.

Bilbo started shifting around in his sleep, mumbling as if he was having a bad dream so Bard tossed a cushion at his head. This caused Bilbo to sit up quickly as he looked around with the most flabbergasted expression painted on his face.

“Ugh, where am I?” Bilbo muttered, rubbing his eyes as if the action would bring some clarity to his foggy mind.

“You’re at my house.” Bard commented nonchalantly.

“Right. I remember.” Bilbo said as he laid back down on the couch closing his eyes.

“Don’t go back to sleep. American Dad is on and it’s the Ricky Spanish episode!” Bard said with a little too much enthusiasm for Bilbo’s liking.

“But…I feel like shit.”

“Me too. Do you want breakfast?”

“Yes!”

Bard knew the mention of food would be a sure-fire way to get Bilbo up and out of his zombie-like state.

The two friends made their way to the kitchen to see what they could make for breakfast. Not much in the house at all. Bard took some eggs out of the fridge and Bilbo got some muffins out of the cupboard.

“Well, this will have to do.” Bard said as he searched for anything else that they could eat.

“That’s fine. Do you have cheese?”

“Cheese? Yes, I think.”

“Yes, I like to put cheese in my eggs, it makes them much better.” Bilbo explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Okay, here.” Bard said as he handed some shredded cheese to his friend.

“Thanks. Let me make the eggs. I don’t trust you in this condition.” Bilbo chuckled as he found a bowl to crack the eggs in.

“Don’t trust me?” Bard mumbled in mock-offense.

“You know my cooking is better anyway, so don’t be a baby.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Master Chef Bilbo to the rescue.” Bard joked as he took a seat at the table and let Bilbo do all the work.

Bard knew it would just be a matter of time before Bilbo got him to open up and tell him everything that happened last night, so the brunette decided it would just be better to get it all off his chest now. He couldn’t hide anything from Bilbo. He needed to tell someone about his stupid mistake.

“So…I kinda did something last night in my drunken state that I maybe shouldn’t have done…” Bard admitted guiltily, trying not to make eye contact with Bilbo.

“What did you do?! Oh my gosh, tell me!” Bilbo blurted out, completely ignoring the eggs that were about to burn on the stovetop.

“Don’t burn the eggs!”

“Oh, they are fine, this is much more important!” Bilbo squealed, always happy to hear gossip, especially when he was being indulged freely without having to force it out.

“Well…” Bard began, getting up to take the eggs off the heat. “I texted Thranduil. And it was NOT good. It was horrible. I am ashamed.”

“Oh, oh, oh! What did you say to him? Bard! I need to see, right now!” Bilbo was frantically pacing around the kitchen now like his body could not contain the excitement he was feeling. “Where is your phone?”

“It’s charging in my room.” Bard sighed. He really didn’t want Bilbo to see the embarrassing messages, but he knew it was too late now.

Bilbo squeaked as he ran off upstairs in the direction of Bard’s room to grab his phone.

“OH MY GOD, BARD!” Bilbo yelled as he made his way back down the stairs.

“What?”

“New text message from ‘The Death of Me’!” Bilbo beamed, as he waved the phone in front of Bard’s face.

“What! Really?” The brunette gasped, almost dropping the box of muffins in the process.

“I don’t know your password, so…here.” He gave the phone to Bard, eyes shining with anticipation.

As Bard put in his password his face became frozen, unwilling to believe that Thranduil had actually sent him a text back. Especially after his disgusting messages.

“Well?” Bilbo questioned.

“It just says ‘who is this?’ with a winky face, and that’s all.” Bard’s voice had become a little shaky at the thought of having to reply. His heart was racing in his chest and all he was thinking was _‘oh my god, the gorgeous Thranduil actually got those texts; he actually read them and still responded.’_

Bilbo grabbed Bard’s phone right out of his hands so he could see with his own eyes.

“Bard Bowman! You are so dirty! I can’t believe you sent him these sexual messages!” Bilbo laughed and smirked at the brunette.

“I was drunk! I was just as shocked as you are now when I woke up this morning and saw all that nastiness!”

“So are you going to respond?” Bilbo asked as he sat down and started eating his eggs which were now pretty cold.

“This is far too embarrassing! I don’t think I should respond. I don’t want him to know it’s me!” Bard sighed, brushing his hand through his hair as he sat back down in his seat at the table.

“Whatever! He gave you a blowjob! This is nothing.”

“I don’t know.” Bard exclaimed letting out a very loud sigh as he fidgeted in his chair. “I feel like a complete fool. He will probably make fun of me.”

“Fine. I’ll text him back for you!” Bilbo laughed as he pretended to be texting on Bard’s phone.

“Don’t you dare! Bilbo, I swear, it’s not funny!”

“I won’t do anything, don’t worry. You will text him back yourself, I know you will. You can’t resist him. It’s only a matter of time.”

Bard took his phone back and kept it out of Bilbo’s reach. They finished eating their breakfast, which wasn’t really breakfast seeing as it was a little past noon, they watched reruns of American Dad and finally Bilbo left to go home at 2pm because he needed to shower.

Bard sat alone in the living room lounging on the couch as he looked at the text message from Thranduil. He really wanted to be able to talk to the blonde, but his nerves were holding him back. _Just do it, Bard. Don’t be a chicken._ What’s the worse that could happen, he asked himself?

Bard slowly began typing on the little touch screen before backspacing until there was nothing there to be sent. Oh shit. What if he saw the little text bubble that shows when someone is typing? Oh no. Now Bard had to say something.

It took him about 15 minutes to muster up to courage to send a simple 7 word text.

**_i’m so sorry about that. it’s bard_ **

After he hit the send button he immediately regretted it. Why couldn’t he just go back in time and never have sent those text messages in the first place? Everything would be so much easier that way. Bard had never felt more uneasy in his whole life.

He sat his phone on the coffee table as he closed his eyes trying to think better, happier thoughts, until he heard the familiar sound indicating that he had a new message.

Bard almost fell off the couch as he reached for his phone; the anticipation alone could probably kill him.

_Oh hey ;) I thought it was you. How’s it going?_

Shit, he didn’t expect a text so soon from Thranduil, and not a positive one at that.

**_hey. i’m alright. howre you?_ **

_I’m pretty good. Out of the hospital :) were you drunk last night?_

**_yeah, I’m so so sorry about those texts. :$ its good that youre out now_ **

_Don’t be sorry. They made my day ;) What’re you doing today?_

**_nothing at all really. how about you?_ **

_I’m not doing anything. Do you want to hang out?_

Bard could not believe his eyes. Was he seeing things right, or was he still drunk? Had Thranduil truly just asked him to hang out? What did ‘hanging out’ even entail? Did it mean getting to know one another, or did it mean more random sex acts? Bard wasn’t sure he was comfortable with doing that sort of thing again. Not yet at least.

Even though the brunette was a bit nervous about the prospect of hanging out with Thranduil he could not say no. He wanted to. He really, _really_ wanted to.

**_yes, i’d like that very much :)_ **

_Awesome. What would you like to do?_

Bard knew he would feel awkward if he was alone in the house with the blonde, so he decided it would be best for the two of them to go out somewhere – in public, where blow jobs wouldn’t occur so easily, although Bard wouldn’t be too surprised if Thranduil tried.

**_do you like gelato?_ **

_YES! :D Gelato is the besttt_

**_would you like to get some?_ **

_Yes, I would love to._

**_theres a really good place near my house. i can pick you up if you want_ **

_I can meet you there. I’m already out and can get dropped off_

**_okay whens good for you??_ **

_I can be ready in like half an hour. Just need the address :3_

**_oh right sorry. Its 2595 forest river rd._ **

_That’s super close to me :) I’ll be there in about 30 mins, does that work for you or do you need to get ready first?_

**_thats perfect. i’m already ready so i’ll see you then :)_ **

_Okie. I’ll text you when I get there!_

Bard put his phone in his pocket and began pacing around. He was running off of pure adrenaline right now and his heart wouldn’t slow down.

Shit!

Bard just realized that his car was still where he left it at the pub, since he and Bilbo had walked home after their night of drinking. The brunette didn’t want to waste time walking all the way to the pub to pick up his car so he was just going to have to borrow his dad’s old beat up truck.

Bard left his house after tying his hair up into a bun, hoping he didn’t look too scruffy for his first actual hang out with the blonde. He didn’t want Thranduil to think he was messy, or that he didn’t care about his appearance, but at the same time he didn’t want to try too hard or come off as high maintenance.

There was no point in waiting around any longer, so Bard decided to head to the gelato shop even if it meant he would be early. Pacing around in his driveway wasn’t helping his anxiety at all; it only made it worse. The short drive would help him calm his nerves.

Was it weird to be this anxious about hanging out with someone? Did all people feel this way, or was Bard just overly emotional about these kinds of situations? He didn’t want to say the wrong thing or make a fool of himself.

It took less than five minutes to arrive at the gelato shop and thankfully Bard was able to snag a good parking spot on the street.

Time to wait, and hopefully not freak out.

The brunette took a seat on an empty bench just outside the shop, taking deep breaths in and out, trying hard to calm his heartbeat and regain his composure. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the bench, phone in hand as he waited patiently for Thranduil to arrive.

No matter how much Bard tried to still his thoughts it seems rather impossible at this point in time. He kept thinking about what they were going to do together, what they would talk about. He was trying to come up with different questions to ask the blonde, different topics of conversation that would hopefully keep any awkward silences at bay. And if Bard was lucky, he wouldn’t be made to feel like a complete idiot regarding his drunken text messages. He didn’t even want to think about that, it was making him blush far more than it should. Thranduil said it was fine, that they ‘made his day’. But still – it was weird.

The loud sound of a car stopping abruptly combined with ear deafening bass was enough to make the brunette jump in his seat and look up in shock.

My lord, what a racket!

Bard watched as the passenger door flung open and Thranduil stepped out hurriedly, flinging his long hair over his shoulder as he grabbed a black knit backpack. He had a cigarette between his lips, the hazy smoke mingling with his blonde hair making him look even more ethereal and angelic than usual.

He wore wickedly tight dark jeans with large holes in the knees and an oversized cardigan overtop a plain forest green t-shirt. He looked like perfection in Bard’s eyes.

A pair of large sunglasses hung from the neckline of his shirt, getting caught up with his many hemp-like necklaces. The blonde bent back into the car and grabbed a coffee cup, or was it handed to him? Bard wasn’t sure. Who was he with anyway? Was it a parent, or a friend? Bard concluded that it must be a friend due to the choice of music and the speed in which the car took off.

Thranduil turned toward Bard and strutted over to where the brunette was sitting a few metres away, waving animatedly as a wide grin formed on his beautiful face.

“Hey!” the blonde said jovially as he took a seat beside Bard.

“Hey, you’re early.” Bard said in greeting.

“Well then so are you.”

“I had nothing else to do. It’s good to see you again.”

“I’m glad to see you too. How are you?” Thranduil asked, taking the last drag of his cigarette before flicking it onto the street.

“I’m pretty good. A little hungover still.” Bard chuckled. “How about you?”

“I’m alright. Better now.” Thranduil replied with a smirk.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. You look fucking hot today. Damn.”

Bard blushed and looked down at the ground shyly before saying anything back. “Thanks,” he replied finally, “You look good too, with your own clothes on.”

“I look better without my clothes on.” The blonde winked cheekily.

“I’m sure you do.” Bard flirted back. He was unsure why he even said it, but being in Thranduil’s presence instantly made him feel comfortable, like they had know each other forever. It was a very good feeling.

“Oh, you’re cute.” Thranduil responded while playfully swatting at Bard’s arm.

“You wanna go in and get that gelato now?”

“Yes, I’m down.”

“Good. Come on.” Bard said, standing up with his hand extended to pull the blonde up from the bench.

Thranduil took hold of Bard’s hand, the touch sending shivers up the brunette’s spine and causing butterflies to flutter in his stomach.

They took a little longer deciding on what flavour gelato to try than Bard would have guessed. Thranduil asked to sample pretty much every kind they had. He ended up getting chocolate peanut butter, because apparently his favourite candy was Reese peanut butter cups. Bard just got plain old chocolate. A tried and true favorite.

Bard paid for both cups of gelato and Thranduil thanked him amiably as they made their way to a small secluded table in the corner of the shop.

“Thanks again for the treat, Bard. It’s very kind of you.” The blonde said as he licked his spoon and took a seat.

“Of course, you’re welcome.”Bard replied, sitting down as well.

The two eyed each other for a few seconds before Bard spoke.

“So when did you get out of the hospital?” He asked curiously.

“Earlier today.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah. It sucked. I’m glad it’s over with.” The blonde sighed, taking another big lick of his spoon. “This stuff is delicious.”

Bard’s curiosity was peaking and he wanted nothing more than to know why Thranduil was in the hospital in the first place. He was afraid to ask though. The last thing Bard wanted was to make him uncomfortable. But he just needed to know.

“Mmm, yes. Mine is good too.” Bard replied. “So...um...I’m sorry. I’m curious. Why were you -”

“I was sick.” Thranduil said briskly, cutting Bard off before he could finish his sentence.

“Well, I’m glad you’re better now.” Bard said sincerely, sensing the tension and unease in the blonde’s tone.

“I don’t mean to come off as a dick about it, I’d just rather not talk about that stuff when we could be talking about better things... like you, for example. I think we should talk about you.” Thranduil said while scooping a huge spoonful of gelato into his mouth.

“Me? Well, hmm, I’m not sure what to say about myself. What do you want to know?”

“Did you mean what you said in those texts?” Thranduil smirked and licked his spoon seductively.

Bard couldn’t help but smile; Thranduil was utterly adorable when he was being playful. The brunette could scarcely remember what he even said in those text messages. All he knew was that they were sexual in nature and had something to do with wanting to _fuck_ Thranduil. Instead of endlessly apologizing like he normally would, Bard decided to go along with the blonde’s flirting.

“Mayyybe.” Bard answered while winking at Thranduil. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

“Oh, you’re bad!” Thranduil laughed. “I like it.”

“If anyone’s bad it’s you.” Bard joked.

“Me?!” The blonde put on a fake shocked expression, while letting out an audible gasp.

Bard could not get over how attractive Thranduil was right now. The brunette had a hard time understanding how they were talking about this so casually, how they were comfortable enough to joke about it, when just this morning Bard had been freaking out thinking Thranduil would hate him.

“Yes, you!” Bard continued teasing, while he finished off the last bit of his chocolate gelato. “You’re not innocent.”

“Are you referring to our outdoor...activities?” Thranduil whispered, looking bashful as he leaned his chin onto one hand, twirling a piece of hair with the other.

“Yes. I think I am.” Bard replied, mirroring the blonde’s coy expression, as he felt Thranduil’s foot rubbing against his leg under the table.

Bard’s heart felt like it would beat out of his ribcage. Thranduil was actually flirting with him and trying to play footsies with him under the table! What a wonderful feeling.

Thranduil chuckled lowly before his tone became a bit more serious. “I am sorry about that, you know. I got a bit carried away and I hope I didn’t fuck anything up between us.” He said gently.

“No, no, of course not. And what is this _between us_ anyway?” Bard questioned, hoping for a good response.

“Well, I don’t know, but I think it could be something.” Thranduil said modestly.

“Really?” Bard practically choked out the word as if what Thranduil was saying made no sense to him at all.

“Yeah...I guess. I mean I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I – I like you.” Thranduil confessed, looking straight into the brunette’s eyes, blinking slowly as he awaited Bard’s response.

“I like you too.” Bard finally said as a huge grin crept onto his face. He was more than happy. Happiness was an understatement; it was nowhere near what he felt after hearing Thranduil say those three words. Bard was ecstatic. Elated, even.

“You’re all done?” Thranduil asked, changing the subject as he reached for Bard’s empty cup.

“Yup. I’m done.”

The blonde grabbed the cups and stood up to throw them both in the trash.

“Thanks. You wanna go for a walk by the lake?” Bard requested. He was really hoping the blush on his cheeks would simmer down. He felt like his whole face was burning up. All he could think was _‘Oh my god! Holy shit! Thranduil actually likes me!’_

“Yes, sure. Let’s do it. I love nature.” Thranduil replied as he brushed his hands over his shirt, trying to smooth the material out. It was quite a long shirt, but not nearly as long as his cardigan which almost flowed down past his knees.

Thranduil flung his backpack onto his shoulder as the two made their way to the exit.

“So what do you have in that bag anyway?” Bard asked, becoming a bit nosier than he thought was appropriate. Whatever, he was curious.

“My whole life pretty much. Or at least everything I need on a daily basis.”

That statement managed to capture Bard’s interest, so he looked at Thranduil questioningly with raised eyebrows.

“I have some clothes, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a hair brush, some really old argan oil...” The blonde now had the bag hanging off of one shoulder as he rooted around. “...wallet, cigarettes, lighter...oh god, a half empty bottle of vodka, some paper, pens, camera, gum, phone charger...you know, the essentials.”

“Wow, that’s a lot to carry around.” Bard commented, unsure why Thranduil needed all this stuff with him while they were hanging out.

“I’ve gotta keep it all on me; sometimes I’m not sure where I’ll end up spending the night.” The blonde explained with an indifferent expression on his face.

“Oh.” Was all Bard could say to that. He wondered if Thranduil really was that much of a partier that he actually went around prepared at all times.

“Yeah, it’s not ideal, but it helps.”

As they continued walking, the lake became visible in the distance, the clear blue water almost as pure and beautiful as Thranduil’s eyes. The two walked slowly, for they were in no hurry, merely enjoying each other’s company.

“So do you live on your own or with your parents?” Bard inquired.

“Well...” Thranduil tensed a bit as he pulled out his cigarette pack, “Sorry, you don’t mind, do you?” He asked Bard before holding his lighter up to the cigarette.

“No, it’s fine, go ahead.”

“Thanks. So...I live on my own, I guess you could say. Mostly at Tauriel’s. But I don’t actually have a permanent address.” The blonde explained and it made Bard think about the facebook investigation where he saw that Thranduil claimed to be a ‘gypsy’.

“When did you move out?”

“When my mom died.” Thranduil said bluntly, not looking affected by it in the least.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” Bard felt bad for being so inadvertently ignorant.

“It’s alright. My dad died years earlier so I’ve gotten used to death.”

“That’s not exactly a good thing to have to get used to. I’m so sorry that you lost both parents. That must have been hard.”

“It’s okay, really. I survived...somehow. Let’s talk about something else though. What is your favorite food?” Thranduil asked with his big, bright eyes staring into Bard’s.

“Hmm...” Bard thought about it for a second before answering. “I like a nice juicy steak, with grilled or roasted potatoes, any kind of potatoes actually. How about you?”

“Cheese is probably my favorite thing, or buttermilk pancakes, or maybe waffles and chocolate...candy...”

“Aw that’s cute. You have a sweet tooth, besides the cheese.”

“Yes, I love sweets. I don’t eat as well as I should. Sometimes I’ll have junk food for dinner.”

“Oh, tsk, tsk,” Bard said in amusement, “I could help you change that. I love to cook. I could make dinner for you sometime.”

Bard wasn’t sure what he was doing. Did he just offer to cook dinner for Thranduil? Like some sort of official date? The brunette almost felt embarrassed if it wasn’t for the beautiful smile on Thranduil’s face.

“Aww, really? That’s sweet, Bard. I’d like that a lot.” The blonde said as he put his hand up over his heart like he really was touched by Bard’s simple gesture.

“My parents are going on vacation in a few days so you could come over whenever you’re available and I’ll cook something nice for you.”

“Yes, that sounds good. I can’t wait.”

“Anything you’re allergic to?”

“Meat.” Thranduil chuckled lightly as he linked arms with Bard, an action that caused the poor brunette’s heart to jolt hard in his chest.

“You’re vegetarian?”

“Yup.”

“That’s cool. It will make it more of a challenge I guess.” Bard said, thinking now of what he could possibly cook for Thranduil that would still be delicious.

“Backing down already?” The blonde said mischievously.

“Never.”

“Good. You can’t get out of this now.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll come up with something good. So how long have you been vegetarian?”

“Since birth.”

“Oh wow! So you’ve never, ever had meat?”

“Nope. Never in my life. My parents were vegetarian too; well, my mom was vegan but I couldn’t give up cheese or milk. Not ever. Dairy is the best food group, and... mangoes!” Thranduil said enthusiastically.

“Mangoes aren’t a food group, silly.” Bard laughed at just how adorable Thranduil truly was.

“They are to me. I have a mango every day.”

“You’re too cute.” Bard complimented; he couldn’t keep the truth concealed.

“No, you.” Thranduil teased back, waving off Bard’s words.

“Can I hold your hand?” Bard blurted out hoping he didn’t cross the line by being so bold.

Thranduil didn’t answer; he simply took Bard’s hand as they continued walking closer to the edge of the lake. “You can hold my hand whenever you like.” He whispered as he leaned in closer, snuggling up to Bard’s side.

The brunette took a deep breath as their fingers interlaced and Thranduil began gently swinging their connected limbs, pulling Bard in the direction of some large rocks near the water.

“Can we sit?” The blonde asked.

“Of course.” Bard responded, taking a seat beside Thranduil on the flat, smooth rock.

Thranduil let go of Bard’s hand as he began digging around in his bag. He pulled out the bottle of vodka and shot a cheeky grin at Bard. The brunette gasped and his mouth fell open.

“You’re going to drink that?” he asked sheepishly.

“Only a tad.” Thranduil chuckled softly before taking a rather large swig of the clear liquid.

“We’re in public, someone will see you!”

“I’m not doing anything wrong. Don’t worry we won’t get arrested!” Thranduil assured, but Bard still sat there with a worried look plastered on his face.

“We better not.”

“Oh, Bard likes to follow the rules like a good boy.” The blonde laughed mocking Bard playfully.

“Hey! I can be a rebel.” Bard retorted, sounding like a child trying to defending himself.

“Lies!” Thranduil snorted, taking another gulp of his alcohol. “You want some?”

“Uh...maybe just a sip.” Bard said nervously.

“You don’t have to. I’ll still kiss you even if you are sober.”

“What?” Bard asked with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Would Thranduil actually kiss him again? Right here? Right now? Bard hoped he would.

“I’ll still kiss y-”

“I heard that, but is it true?”

“Want me to show you just how true it is?” Thranduil cooed in Bard’s ear, as he bit his lower lip. Bard could focus on nothing else now. He needed those plump lips against his.

Just as the blonde began inching his face closer to Bards, a shrill high pitched scream startled them both, causing them to avert their attention in the direction of the ear piercing noise.

Standing a few metres away from them was an adorable little boy with a mass of blonde hair. He was looking in their direction and pointing with his mouth agape.

Was it really that shocking for this kid to witness two males about to kiss? Bard guessed it could be.

The little boy squealed as he ran over towards them, arms swinging wildly from side to side.

“Daddy!” He yelled as he flung his little arms around Thranduil’s neck.

Bard gasped as Thranduil shot him a guilty look.

“Daddy?” Bard breathed out, barely audible. He was completely awe-struck.

_Thranduil has a son?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg


	8. Concubinus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil is a professional at making bad decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the wonderful people who left comments, it really means a lot to me :) Next time I will actually reply :3  
> Sorry this took so long. I was away visiting family but I have returned! :)  
> I have no idea where this story is going and it seems like whenever I do have an idea, the characters just kind of do their own thing and it turns into something else entirely. oops.
> 
> Trigger Warnings!!!  
> Alcohol use/abuse, verbal abuse (sort of?), drug use, dubious consent 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the madness :3

Thranduil had his face buried in the little boy’s silky golden blonde hair. The color was almost identical to his own, yet much, much softer. It smelled of wildberries and cream.

His sweet little Legolas.

He hadn’t seen his son in a few weeks because Leanna, the boy’s mother, had been avoiding him. This meeting was just purely by luck. Thranduil wasn’t sure if it was good luck or bad luck, seeing as he had been sitting near the lake with Bard, who he was seconds away from kissing.

Bard had said something, questioning him about who Legolas was. It made Thranduil uneasy and nervous. He didn’t want Bard to think poorly of him. His anxiety was rising and he could not control it, despite how happy he was to finally be reunited with his son. Now Bard knew the truth and he couldn’t hide it anymore.

“This is your son?” Bard had asked gently.

Thranduil didn’t answer, he just kept his face hidden within Legolas’ hair as he sighed and held on tighter to the little boy. He knew Leanna had to be around and he feared seeing her.

“Thranduil!” a female voice called from a short distance away.

_Oh fucking hell._

Thranduil hesitantly drew his face out of his son’s hair and looked up meeting Leanna’s stare. Bard was gaping at her, obviously trying to piece together the whole situation and looking just as uncomfortable as Thranduil.

“What are you doing here? Galion said you were locked up again.”

“You talked to Galion?! What the hell for?!” Thranduil said, voice getting louder with annoyance. He couldn’t stand Leanna and her constant prying.

“Because I fucking tried calling you but no answer, obviously.” She shouted back, as Thranduil covered Legolas’ ears to shield him from her swearing.

“Don’t swear in front of him!” Thranduil kept his hands over his son’s ears, as the little boy played with Thranduil’s hair, twisting strands of it around his tiny fingers.

“I’ll fucking do what I want. Since when do you give a shit?!”

“Since always!” Thranduil was pissed now. He had been disrupted from his tranquil ‘date’ with Bard and now he was being yelled at by someone who he wished he never had to deal with again in his life.

Thranduil looked over in Bard’s direction with an apologetic expression on his face hoping this wasn’t freaking the brunette out too much. Poor Bard, he should not be witnessing this. Not now, not ever. The notion that this situation could possibly be the catalyst to the destruction of whatever he had with Bard made the blonde sick to his stomach. He wanted to cry. He could feel it coming.

“You don’t deserve to see him, Thranduil. You are a fucking mess. A psychotic drug addict is all you are and all you will ever be, and Legolas doesn’t need you in his life!”

Thranduil set Legolas down and the little boy held onto one of his legs, clinging, not wanting to let go. Leanna had truly set him off with that comment. Thranduil tried hard not to swear or cry or shout. He didn’t want Bard to see this. He was clenching his fists, trying desperately to hold back tears. Leanna should not have said what she did. She knew how to rile him up; she knew exactly what to say to hurt him. And it only hurt so much because it was the truth.

“Look at yourself! You’re acting like a child, Leanna. You aren’t fit to be his mother. You can’t even control your temper in public. It’s pathetic. You’re worse than me.” Thranduil said with a cold tone, his voice close to breaking.

“Oh, ha ha, very funny. I’m not the one on coke.” She replied flippantly.

“Bullshit.” Thranduil said hoarsely, unable to form any other words as Leanna laughed, waving off his comment.

He bent down and wrapped his arms around Legolas, cooing and whispering in his ear. “It’s okay, I love you my sweet little leaf. You know that right?” Legolas nodded in response, his small arms locked tightly around his father’s neck.

Leanna huffed angrily as she finally took into account the fact that Thranduil hadn’t been alone; that he was there with someone. She gave Bard a wicked look before turning back to Thranduil.

“Are you out prostituting yourself again? Typical.”

“What’s wrong with you?!” He spat the words out, utterly disgusted by her behaviour.

“Nothing. You are the one with the issues. Who’s your friend?” She asked in a snarky tone, as she looked back in Bard’s direction. The brunette was still standing there looking completely defeated, as if he had no idea what to say or do. Thranduil just wanted Leanna to leave so he could beg for Bard’s forgiveness.

“I’m Bard.” The brunette spoke up, sounding more confident than Thranduil had expected.

“Nice to know.” Leanna remarked. “Did he fuck you yet?”

“Excuse me?” Bard said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“He’ll fuck anything that moves. It’s sad really. He needs intensive therapy. Even that would probably be useless.”

Thranduil really was trying his best not to show any emotion, not to let any of this exchange affect him. But in truth, he felt attacked and helpless. He badly wanted to defend himself, to yell and shout and swear profanities at Leanna for being so insensitive. He knew that he could not act in such a manner in front of Legolas. He was also trying to control his emotions before they got out of hand; he didn’t want to end up back in the hospital.

_Breathe in, and out. In and out. Ground yourself and don’t give her the reaction that she wants. She wants you to break. She wants you to yell, she wants you to scream and make a fool of yourself._

Bard had stepped closer to Thranduil and spoke quietly in his ear, “I think we should go.”

“Why don’t _you_ go?” Leanna’s voice cut in, directed towards Bard, “I need to speak with Thranduil alone.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Bard retorted.

“What you think doesn’t matter.”

Thranduil had blocked out their conversation, his face yet again concealed in Legolas’ hair, hoping to find some sanctuary there. His throat was tight and his eyes were feeling heavy. He closed them as the tears formed and spilled out over his cheeks and into his son’s soft hair.

“Let’s go Legs. Come on.” Leanna spoke sternly to the little boy who was still clinging onto his father.

She walked over and reached out a hand to him, which was ignored, before grabbing his arm and attempting to pull him along.

“Hey.” Thranduil said in a small voice, tears still falling freely down his face. He wouldn’t dare look up; he didn’t want to make a scene of his distress.

As Legolas was yanked off in the opposite direction by his mother, Thranduil stood and turned his body so that he was facing the lake.

“Just go, Leanna.” He said without looking back. He could hear Legolas’ pleas in the distance as he was taken away.

It seemed as though this was always the way with Leanna. Thranduil got to see Legolas for a few minutes at most before his son was taken away by his reluctant mother. There was nothing he could say to convince her otherwise.

Thranduil let out a sigh and pressed his fingers under his eyes to try to stop his embarrassing crying. He did not want Bard to see him like this.

Without warning he felt strong arms wrap around his waist and Bard’s hands found his as he laced their fingers together tightly.

“It’s okay.” Bard whispered softly into his ear.

Thranduil held on tighter to Bard’s hand, squeezing his fingers, as he turned his body so that he was now facing the brunette. Without making eye contact, he buried his face into Bard’s neck and continued crying. He could not hold it back, despite his best effort.

His tears flowed freely now as Bard rubbed his hands soothingly over the blonde’s back, trying to help calm him down.

“I’m sorry.” Thranduil managed to choke out.

“No. There is no reason to be sorry. It’s alright.” Bard said.

“No, it’s not. It will never be alright.”

“Shh. Yes it will.”

Thranduil pulled away slowly, looking Bard in the eyes, studying his features. He truly was a beautiful person, inside and out, and he didn’t deserve to be stuck in this position – comforting the world’s biggest fuck up.

The blonde shook Bard’s hands off of his shoulders and began walking close to the water’s edge. He grabbed his bag off the ground where he had left it previously, and pulled out the bottle of vodka.

“What are you doing?” Bard questioned, walking over beside him.

Thranduil was too quick for Bard to stop him; he began chugging the liquid as fast as he could. He could feel the alcohol dripping down his chin as he tried to swallow faster.

“Hey, stop.” Bard said in a concerned tone, but Thranduil did not care.

The sting of vodka felt good against the back of Thranduil’s throat. The burn helped distract him from the pain of Leanna’s cruel words and the absence of his little boy.

“Please?” Bard said, trying to plead with the blonde to abandon his drinking.

“It’s pointless trying to stop me.” Thranduil said coldly, his voice monotone.

He did not want to argue with Bard when the brunette was only trying to be helpful. He didn’t want Bard to hate him, but at the same time that would be so much easier; one less life to ruin, one less person to hurt.

There was a lump caught in the back of Thranduil’s throat and it made him feel sick. The ache in the pit of his stomach only made it worse. Why did he feel so empty, so lost?

He desperately wanted to let Bard comfort him, but the thought of Bard pitying him made him feel weak and vulnerable. And in truth, he was. Thranduil let every emotion he ever felt control him. He was a slave to his emotions. Irrational thoughts turned into irrational behaviours; it had always been this way. He would just freak out, drink and pass out to escape reality in hopes that all his problems would be gone when he awoke – which, of course, was never the case. It only got so much worse when he had to face the consequences of his actions in the light of day with a sober mind.

“I’m going to try anyway.” Bard spoke after what felt like minutes of him just standing there hovering over where Thranduil sat in the grass.

“I don’t understand why...” The blonde said, words starting to slur as his body swayed back and forth. He was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol.

“Maybe because I care.” Bard stated ingenuously.

“You care?” Thranduil scoffed as if the idea was completely and utterly ridiculous. Who could ever care about such an awful human being?

“Is that so hard to believe?” Bard asked, taking a seat beside the blonde.

“It really is.”

“Well, I’m hoping I can change your mind.”

“Hmmph.” Thranduil mumbled, thinking Bard could very well be even crazier than him.

“It really is a shame that you don’t see your worth.”

“I’m not worth anything.”

“That’s a load of bullshit.” Bard replied.

“Hasn’t my day drinking scared you off?”

“Nope.”

“What about the fact that I have a son?”

“So? Lots of people have kids.”

“Ugh, Bard!” Thranduil exclaimed, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of his alcohol.

“If you’re trying to convince me to stop liking you it’s not going to work.”

“I have no redeeming qualities.”

“Oh, hush.” Bard said as he snatched the almost empty bottle away from Thranduil.

“Hey! I was going to finish that!” Thranduil yelped, trying to grab the bottle from Bard’s hand.

“I’ll hold onto it for now.”

“You’re an ass.” Thranduil said with a smirk.

“I know,” Bard chuckled, “But I’m an ass for your own good.”

“Can I please just have the rest?” Thranduil leaned over Bard’s lap trying to reach for the bottle but the brunette held it in the air as far away as possible.

“Not today. Not while I’m here.”

“Dick.”

“Oh, you’re adorable.” Bard laughed.

Thranduil shoved Bard’s shoulder with as much force as he could, which at this point in time wasn’t much. Bard fell back onto the ground, laughing.

“Stop laughing at me, asshole,” Thranduil snickered, a smile beginning to form on his lips. “Rude!”

“Come here.” Bard beckoned, grabbing the blonde’s arm and pulling him down into the grass so that their faces were only inches apart.

Thranduil could feel the waves of intoxication washing over him as he closed his eyes. He gingerly laid one arm over Bard’s chest, reaching for wherever Bard had put the bottle of alcohol. The brunette automatically swatted his hand away.

“You. Suck.” Thranduil said, annunciating each syllable.

Bard chuckled as he held Thranduil’s hand, his other arm sliding behind the blonde’s neck, pulling him into a gentle embrace.

“I know. You suck too.” Bard teased, pressing a light kiss into Thranduil’s silken blonde hair. “But you’re beautiful.”

“You’re even more beautiful.” Thranduil whispered into Bard’s ear, as he shifted his position, eyes now holding Bard’s gaze for what felt like an eternity.

Bard brushed a few of strands of Thranduil’s hair out of the way as he traced his fingers along the blonde’s jaw, and finally ran his thumb over his soft lips.

Thranduil sighed, exhaling warm air onto the brunette’s fingers as he reached for Bard’s other hand, pining it down beside his head.

“Are you just going to lay there or are you going to kiss me?” Thranduil inquired, batting his eyelashes and pressing a gentle peck on the palm of Bard’s hand.

Bard leaned up closing the small distance between their faces as he pressed his lips to Thranduil’s softly. The kiss was tender and innocent and Bard pulled back much too soon for Thranduil’s liking.

The blonde lowered his head, hair cascading around Bard’s face, creating a curtain around them as he kissed the brunette deeper and hungrier. Bard let out a moan, opening his mouth slightly. Thranduil took the hint and pressed his tongue into Bard’s mouth. Their tongues slid together gently as their mouths continued moving in perfect harmony, the kiss becoming more heated and intense.

_Fuck._ Bard was a good kisser! Thranduil had not been kissed like this in a long time and he feared he could very easily lose himself in this passion.

Bard was now sucking on Thranduil’s tongue as the blonde moaned languidly into his kiss. Their hands were running through each other’s hair and Thranduil’s leg found its way over one of Bard’s. This time it was the blonde who broke their embrace.

“You’re kinda perfect.” He said to Bard, as he moved his head down into the crook of the brunette’s neck, where he began pressing wet kisses into Bard’s skin. Bard’s hands were now on Thranduil’s back, fingers grasping at the material of his cardigan with every kiss the blonde left on his neck.

Thranduil left a trail of wetness as he lowered his head further, licking small circles into Bard’s collarbone. His knee was pressing into Bard’s crotch where he could clearly feel Bard becoming aroused quite quickly.

Bard groaned at the touch as he tangled his fingers into Thranduil’s flaxen hair, tugging lightly before his hands found the blonde’s face.

“Hey?” Bard said, out of breath, as he cupped Thranduil’s chin and pulled him up so that their eyes found each other.

Blue and hazel, sky and earth.

“Mmm, yeah?” Thranduil asked.

“People are probably looking...” Bard stated, hands holding the sides of the blonde’s face.

“That’s okay.” Thranduil said breathily and continued kissing Bard’s neck.

“I’d rather...do this...somewhere else...” Bard’s words trailed off as Thranduil’s hands crawled up underneath his shirt.

Thranduil made a small noise of protest before pulling his lips away from Bard’s neck, giving the brunette an unhappy look as he sighed deeply.

“What?” Bard asked.

Despite his drunkenness, Thranduil knew that this was probably a bad idea, so he pulled his hands out from under Bard’s shirt and stood up. Stupid, stupid.

Bard was still lying in the grass, dumbfounded and clearly unsure what to do next. Thranduil was standing, arms crossed, looking out at the rippling waters of the lake. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes he always did. He didn’t want to fuck things up with Bard before they had even begun.

The blonde shook his head, disapproving of his own actions, yet still not ready to leave.

_What the fuck am I doing?_ He thought.

“I should go.” Thranduil murmured still not acknowledging Bard, who was now standing beside him. Bard attempted to hold Thranduil’s hand, but the blonde just swatted it away. “I’m sorry, Bard. I’m an idiot.”

“No...why would you think that?”

“This is wrong.” Thranduil spoke slowly, unsure of the words coming out of his mouth. He spun around to face Bard before pressing a quick kiss to the brunette’s cheek. “I have to go now.”

Thranduil grabbed his bag and started walking away as fast as he could, part of him hoping that Bard would stop him, but the other part relieved that he didn’t. He heard his name being called faintly but didn’t turn back.

_Fucking slut. You’re disgusting_ , his mind kept repeating over and over like a broken record. _You can never have a relationship. Don’t even try._

The blonde pulled out his phone in a huff as he reached the bus stop, not caring to phone Tauriel for a ride. The bus would be a good distraction; quiet time to help him relax his mind...hopefully.

Thranduil continued pacing back and forth, scrolling through his text messages. He stopped on the text from Elrond, reading it over a few times, letting the words lingering and burn into his mind.

Before he even knew what he was doing, Thranduil sent a text to his ex-boyfriend.

_Whatre u doing? ;)_

He smoked a cigarette while waiting for a reply. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket when he heard the telltale _ding_.

_Nothing. Where have you been? :)_

Thranduil ignored the question. He was just glad that Elrond had actually responded. The blonde was angry at himself for being so forward with Bard and he needed to get his mind off all that had happened, while still getting his needs fulfilled.

He knew he was a sick person, but right now, he didn’t give a shit.

_Can i come over?_

_Of course._

It took about 20 minutes to reach Elrond’s apartment and unfortunately the bus ride did nothing to calm Thranduil’s mind. He was still drunk, so it wasn’t likely that any coherent thoughts were in his head anyway. At least he knew he was a mess.

He sent Elrond a quick text saying that he was outside, fiddling with the hem of his shirt while he waited. He knew what was going to happen when he got up there - what always happened when he ended up back at his ex-boyfriend's place.

The thought caused a slight discomfort in Thranduil’s stomach and he swallowed hard when he saw Elrond at the door motioning for him to come inside. He didn’t hesitate as he followed the older man up the stairs and into his apartment.

“I knew you’d break down eventually.” Elrond commented as he made his way over to the stainless steel fridge, swinging the door open and pulling out a bottle of wine. “Want some?”

“Yeah, a big glass.” Thranduil said, still standing in the doorway. He knew this apartment too well, but still didn’t feel comfortable there.

Elrond poured the wine in a regular glass instead of a wine glass, filling it almost entirely before handing it to Thranduil. The blonde began taking large gulps of his drink, hoping to further intoxicate himself to the point of delirium.

Elrond shuffled over to the side table in the small living room, pulling out a tiny ornate box. Thranduil watched him intently, knowing exactly what he was getting.

Thranduil let out an audible sigh as his ex boyfriend held out a joint from the box before setting it down on the kitchen counter.

“What?” Thranduil asked, not taking the joint that was being offered to him.

“Take it, we’re gonna smoke.” Elrond said, more of a command than a suggestion.

Thranduil grabbed a lighter off the counter and lit the spliff that he held between his lips, rotating it as he inhaled short quick puffs, trying to get it lit properly.

“Don’t fuck it up.” Elrond scowled, trying to grab the lighter from the blonde’s hand.

“I fucking won’t. Calm your ass!” Thranduil said, finally getting it lit and inhaling a large amount of smoke. He held it in for a few seconds before exhaling and inevitably coughing more than he wanted to.

They finished the joint together sitting on the small couch in the living room. Elrond now had his arms around Thranduil’s waist, pulling him up from the couch and leading him in to the bedroom. Thranduil giggled as he stumbled behind Elrond, dodging random articles of clothing that were left on the floor.

“Take off your clothes.” Elrond said, again with the commanding tone that Thranduil loathed.

The blonde obeyed, taking his clothes off slowly, stopping every now and then to laugh at something that had amused him.

Elrond was already undressed, sitting on the bed naked, beckoning Thranduil to come to him.

Thranduil shimmied out of his lavender briefs, kicking them off his ankle before crawling onto the bed towards his ex.

“Just as gorgeous as always, Thran.”

“I know, right?” Thranduil said, trying to stifle a laugh.

Elrond grabbed Thranduil by the wrist, pulling his body closer while pushing him down face first into the bed. He knew his ex was a violent and forceful person and he knew that it was best not to struggle. Struggling only made things worse.

Elrond was now sitting on the backs of his thighs, running his hands through Thranduil’s hair. The blonde gasped when his hair was pulled all of a sudden, and he felt a slap on his ass.

“Ow.” Thranduil said meekly.

“You like it, babe. Now shut up or I’ll be forced to gag you.” Elrond spoke maliciously into Thranduil’s ear, all the while repeatedly spanking him until it burned.

Thranduil’s eyes flew open as Elrond shoved two of his fingers into the blonde’s mouth unexpectedly.

“Suck.” Elrond demanded, pushing his fingers further into Thranduil’s mouth. “Do it good, this is all the lube you’re gonna get.”

Thranduil almost wanted to put up a fight and tell his ex boyfriend that he wouldn’t go through with this if he didn’t use lube. It had been a few weeks since Thranduil had had sex, and he was worried that saliva would not be sufficient.

Although, he did feel as if he deserved the pain.

Just as quickly as Elrond had put his fingers in Thranduil’s mouth, he removed them. The blonde winced and tears began to form in his eyes as Elrond pushed both of his saliva coated fingers into Thranduil’s entrance.

“One at a time, fuck.” Thranduil said, voice shaky, hoping he wouldn’t get slapped for speaking up.

“Maybe I’ll just skip this part.” Elrond snickered, pumping his fingers in and out much too forcefully.

Thranduil’s body was flipped around again, only to have Elrond’s cock pushed into his mouth. Thranduil moaned around the intrusion. He wanted nothing more than to bite down as hard as he could, but he resisted the temptation. He covered his ex boyfriend’s dick with as much wetness as he could, knowing his saliva would be his only salvation.

Elrond slapped Thranduil in the face, pulling his cock away while instructing the blonde to turn around.

“On your knees, ass up.” The older man ordered, grabbing Thranduil’s hair with one hand, and digging the fingers of his other hand into the swell of the blonde’s ass.

“Just do it.” Thranduil mumbled as his face was shoved down into the pillows, making it difficult to breathe.

The blonde squealed and grasped the bed sheets tightly as Elrond thrust his entire length into Thranduil’s entrance, only pausing for a few seconds so Thranduil could get used to the feeling.

Thranduil closed his eyes and let his mind go elsewhere while Elrond continued his vigorous thrusting. Tears made their way out of the blonde’s eyes, spilling down onto the sheets.

_What the fuck is wrong with me_? He thought. _Why am I here when I could be with Bard?_

_You get what you deserve_ , Thranduil told himself.

_You do not deserve someone as wonderful as Bard._

_Never, ever, ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Thran. :(
> 
> I was thinking about creating a tumblr for Thranduil but i'm not sure...what do you think? hmm
> 
> comments make my life ^-^


	9. Teen Idle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bard does not understand why Thranduil won't text him back. God, it's so annoying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot damn, this took long to write. I have been pretty lazy and since my manager was away I had to do her job, so yeah, I was working a ton!  
> I can never think of titles so this title is a song. 'Teen Idle' by Marina and the Diamonds. It's Thran's song. (He has many!)  
> Sorry this chapter is a little bleh. It's mostly just Bard trying to sort out his feelings. :3
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Drug Use.
> 
> Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I just wanted to get this up!  
> Hope you enjoy. :)

Bard’s heart was beating erratically and his breath hitched in his throat. What just happened? He was still standing in the same spot by the lake where he and Thranduil had previously been laying in each other’s arms. The only difference was that now Bard was alone. He felt the strange tension in the air as if it had taken on a life of its own as soon as the blonde had left him. The brunette sighed heavily, breath still elevated from their little public make out session.

Bard has no idea why the blonde had left so abruptly. Obviously something must have put him off, but what? Did Bard somehow manage to say the wrong thing? Was he being too forward? That couldn’t possibly be it, Bard thought. Thranduil was the king of being forward, so how could Bard’s words scare him away so easily? Thranduil had made it clear that he wanted Bard. This was all so confusing and it was really putting a damper on Bard’s mood.

Maybe it all had to do with the incident with Thranduil’s son and...his mother. What was Leanna to Thranduil anyway? An ex girlfriend, or no one at all? Did they even have a previous relationship? Did they love each other at one point? Did they still have unresolved feelings for one another? Or was she just one of the blonde’s drunken one night stands? That had to be it. That made the most sense, given the little information he knew about Thranduil’s ways.

In Bard’s head he was building Thranduil up to be a bad person; someone he should never trust, someone that didn’t deserve his trust. His head screamed ‘STAY AWAY!’, but his heart longed for the connection. Bard really wanted to break down Thranduil’s walls and be able to spend time with the blonde without any unnecessary drama from occurring. That would be nice. Unfortunately, it was proving to be rather difficult. Bard now had a pretty good idea why Thranduil was in the hospital. Really, he knew all along but he did not want to admit it.

The brunette wanted badly to chase after Thranduil when he ran off, but he stopped himself. Maybe this was for the best. Just give him space, Bard told himself. Don’t push. If he likes you as he claims he does, then he will be the one to contact you.

Bard felt like a complete and utter fool standing in the same place staring ahead in the distance but looking at nothing, only focusing on the thoughts that occupied his mind. He decided he should just leave. Go back home and think things through.

He still needed to pick up his own car from the pub where he had left it. That would be his small mission for the rest of the day. A walk alone would calm him. And hopefully the pub wouldn’t beckon him in for a drink. He really didn’t need that right now.

As he walked along slowly, heading back to where he parked by the gelato shop, he spotted two people he didn’t think he would see again; not today at least. It was Legolas and his mother, Leanna. They were still at the park. The little boy was playing on the jungle gym and his mother was sitting on a bench with her head down, eyes glued to the phone in her hand. Bard had to admit, she was beautiful. Long blonde hair like Thranduil, yet hers was a warm golden shade.

Bard knew he should stop thinking about her and Thranduil and how Legolas was created. Bard was a grown man, he knew where babies came from, yet it still irked him that Thranduil had slept with her and actually created a life with her.

The little boy was laughing and running around the way children do and Bard couldn’t help but wonder how much of a role Thranduil played in his life. Was it really just a random visit every now and then? Did Thranduil even want to see his son more than that, or was he happy being free?

Bard also wondered how old the boy was. At that young age it was hard to tell, but Bard guessed he had to be around three or four years old. So that would mean that Thranduil was most likely eighteen when his son was born. In Bard’s opinion that was much too young to be having children. But, whatever, it wasn’t his place to judge.

This kind of thinking was really taking its toll on Bard, who was now standing behind a tree, trying to make sure his presence went unnoticed.

_Just keep walking, you dumbass_ , he scolded himself.

Bard had made it home, walked to get his own car and was now lying on his bed with his hair hanging off the side. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop thinking about his beautiful blonde crush. Who, in all honesty, Bard should not even be crushing on.

It felt as though there was this constant battle going on in his head and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it inevitably consumed him.

Bard wanted to text Thranduil. He wanted to make sure everything was alright. And why not? Bard was a caring person, and this would only be a friendly text sent out of concern. Nothing more.

After careful rationalization, Bard typed out a message.

_i hope everything is ok. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable._

He was over analyzing the text, reading and rewording it over and over but in the end he knew he had to suck it up, so he hit the send button. Bard sat his phone beside him on the bed, telling himself not to worry about it anymore.

The brunette went to take a shower, seeing as it was nearing nine o’clock and he had work at eight in the morning. When he finished up in the washroom, he plopped himself back on the bed and reluctantly checked his phone.

Nothing. It made his stomach sick waiting for a response. Even though it hadn’t even been an hour yet since he’d sent the text, he was sure that Thranduil must have at least seen it. He was most likely ignoring Bard.

Bard ended up staying awake much later than expected, not of his own volition though. His body and mind just did not want to slow down. His eyes were closing, yet he forced them open. He was anticipating a text from Thranduil and he worried that as soon as he closed his eyes, it would come and he would miss it. By the time midnight rolled around, he had still not gotten a message from the blonde.

Bard let his eyes close and tossed his phone off his chest and onto the soft carpeting of the floor. He needed sleep; he could no longer deny his body what it required. In order to get to work on time, Bard would have to be awake by 6:30 am, so getting a good night’s sleep was very important.

Thankfully he would be working his shift with Bilbo, so the time was bound to go by quickly and at least he knew he would be sufficiently distracted from the menacing thought of Thranduil. Maybe Bilbo would have some sort of advice on what to do in a situation like this, although Bard still did not know if it was something he even wanted to speak about, to anyone. What he needed to do was sort out his thoughts and feelings before sharing it with someone else. Regardless, Bilbo did have a way of getting whatever information he wanted from the brunette. It was quite the impressive talent.

As Bard drifted off to sleep, images of that maddeningly beautiful blonde creature danced in his head and plagued his dreams.

When Bard woke his body automatically sprang out of bed in search of his phone from wherever it had landed on the floor. His eyes still blurry from sleep, he unlocked his mobile, only to be forced to face the disappointing truth – no messages.

What the hell!

Was Thranduil purposely ignoring him? Did he not even like Bard? Why the silence all of a sudden?

The poor brunette began to feel stupid for ever thinking he stood a chance, and even stupider for making out with Thranduil at the park.

It had certainly appeared as though the blonde was interested in him, unless Bard had read the situation completely wrong. Bard was usually quite a perceptive person, but now it seemed as if he had been blinded by his feelings and couldn’t tell if they were reciprocated, or if he was being sorely manipulated and deceived. It was heartbreaking.

The words spoken by Leanna, the day before, were beginning to truly sink in and sway Bard’s thoughts. The once flawless image of Thranduil was now looking pretty tainted. Was it true what she had said about him needing to “ _fuck everyone_ ”, and that he was just a slut? Was he with someone else right now?

The brunette longed to know what Thranduil was doing at this very moment – probably sleeping off his inevitable hangover. Bard had never seen anyone drink that much hard liquor in one sitting over such a short period of time and not throw up as a result.

Oh god, and that ‘coke’ comment that Leanna had made, was that just to spite Thranduil, or was it actually true? Bard now got caught up with the notion that Thranduil could very possibly be a drug addict. The blonde did claim that it was bullshit but he could just be in denial, or just didn’t want Bard to know.

The thought made Bard angry, but at the same time he felt sorry for Thranduil. He needed to be loved if his life was truly such shit. Bard had wanted to be the one to offer him such love, but why wasn’t he letting Bard in? Why run away?

The truth about the mysterious blonde, or at least the truth according to Bard, was falling into place rather quickly and it was frightening. _What am I getting myself into?_ Bard asked himself as he made the long drive to work.

In the car, he blared his favorite classical music and tried to focus on what the day would be like at work.

The day at work proved to be uneventful, yet it did manage to go by rather fast, which Bard was happy about. He was distracted enough to let his mind wander to other things besides Thranduil, such as the possibility of getting his own apartment with Bilbo as his roommate.

The two friends had discussed it before but now Bilbo really wanted out. Apparently his mom was smothering him with tea and biscuits when Bilbo just wanted freedom and independence.

“It will be an unexpected journey, Bard! Will you accompany me?” Bilbo exclaimed, excited at the prospect of moving out and getting a place to call his own.

Bard chuckled. “Well, it’s not really unexpected though! We’re planning it out right now.”

Bilbo waved off the comment and ended up going off on a tangent about his janitor crush, Thorin, who he had been talking to a lot more recently. They had even gone out on a proper date. At least the romance was alive for Bilbo.

Bard couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.

During his break, the brunette kept staring at the screen of his phone. He couldn’t help but go back to the text he sent Thranduil last night. He would close the screen, switch off his phone, only to switch it back on a few seconds later, hoping a new message would miraculously be waiting for him.

This only perpetuated the idea of sending another text message. Surely the first one failed to have gone through. Bard continued his contemplating until he finally gave in. His fingers ghosted above the touch screen before he started typing out a new message. One more text wouldn’t hurt anyone.

_hey. are you ok? pls text me when you get this, i just wanna know youre alright :)_

It was a little bit more than Bard thought was appropriate, but he sent it anyway.

The remainder of the day went by sluggishly, and when Bard saw that familiar greasy black-haired man go out for a smoke, he almost felt tempted to go and talk to him just to question on anything he knew about Thranduil. Fortunately, Bard refrained from doing such a stalker-like thing and continued doing his job tidying the store.

When his shift was finally over, Bard checked his damn phone again, but still nothing at all from Thranduil, only a message from his mom finding out if he would be home for dinner and reminding him and she and his dad would be leaving for their vacation early tomorrow morning.

If only Thranduil would talk to him so he could ask the blonde to hang out at his soon to be empty house.

The next few days seemed to drag on. Work was the only thing that occupied Bard’s time. He was grateful for it, seeing as he wasn’t completely idle. He only checked his phone a thousand times a day; it wasn’t really that bad he tried to convince himself. No, who was he kidding? He was desperate and pathetic.

The blatant rejection hurt more than he cared to admit aloud, but that didn’t stop his mind from replaying every word he and Thranduil had ever exchanged. Over and over, again and again it played on loop in his mind. It was making him sick. The annoyance turned to frustration, the frustration to anger and the anger to eventual indifference.

It did bother him that Thranduil chose to ignore him instead of just being straight up with him about his feelings. If he wasn’t interested, why didn’t he just say so? It would make all of this a lot easier to get past.

Thursday morning Bard woke up early and went for a run, leaving his mobile device behind. Normally he liked to use it for music when he ran, but no, not today.

The fresh air and warm sun beat down on his skin making him feel rejuvenated and alive again. He was growing sick of being a hermit, sick of letting someone else dictate his life, sick of waiting on something that would never come.

When he got back home after his run he took a nice long shower, enjoying the simple feeling of the water running through his hair. It was nice having the house entirely to himself. He was able to walk naked from the washroom to his bedroom. Ah, such freedom.

After getting dressed, the brunette cuddled up on his bed, leaning back into the head board, deciding for the first time today to check his phone. Nothing out of the ordinary. A text message from Bilbo.

Bard opened the message and was greeted with the onslaught of all caps staring him straight in the face.

_OMG GUESS WHO WAS JUST HERE LOOKING FOR YOU?!!!!!_

Bard’s heart skipped a beat and he almost forgot how to breathe.

“Oh no, who?” He whispered aloud to himself, as if in a daze.

He immediately began texting Bilbo asking that exact question, but was interrupted by a knock on the door before he could send the message. He set his phone down on the night stand and rose off the bed.

His heart thudded like a drum, threatening to break free from behind his ribcage as he let out an excessive exhale through his nose.

The aftershock of the sudden jolt in his chest left him feeling nervous and uneasy as he crept down the stairs to see who was at the door.

The knocking continued in a rhythmic manner, growing louder and louder before Bard finally unlocked the door and opened it a crack, sticking only his head out.

“Shit!” he said, disdain and relief both present in his tone. He was having a hard time believing what he was seeing.

It was Thranduil, dressed entirely in black like the shadow of death coming to steal Bard’s soul.

“Hey.” The blonde said, toeing the gravel absently with his combat boots, as his eyes stayed fixed to the ground, fingers fidgeting anxiously with the tattered hem of his shirt.

His blonde hair was down, draped over both shoulders, yet it was not beautiful and luxurious as it had been the last time Bard had seen him. As if by instinct he could tell Bard was judging his hair, Thranduil ran a hand through the ratty mess, pulling it all to one side, brushing his fingers through the tangles.

“Hi.” Bard finally replied, his brow still knit in confusion. He was utterly gobsmacked by this unexpected encounter. “What do you want?” Bard didn’t like the way the words sounded once they left his mouth; he only realized how harsh it sounded once he had already spoken.

“Can I come in?” Thranduil asked, looking up at Bard, expression all doe-eyed and innocent. “Please?”

Bard sighed and opened the door enough to let the blonde slide past him into his house. He closed the door gently before turning around to face Thranduil.

“How do you know where I live?” Bard asked, frustration rising in his voice. It had been four days of being ignored and now that the blonde was in front of him Bard wanted answers; no more bullshit.

“Uh, that guy you work with told me.”

“Bilbo, you mean.”

“Yeah, him.”

“So? What do you want?”

“Bard...” Thranduil began, but was cut off by the brunette before he could even start.

“No, actually I’m pissed. So, you’re going to have to listen for a minute.” Bard said, trying to keep his breathing steady. The last thing he wanted was to end up crying. “What the fuck, Thranduil! Where did you go? You’ve been ignoring me since we hung out on Sunday and I don’t know what I did wrong. You could’ve at least told me straight up if you didn’t want anything to do with me. You know, just tell me you’re not interested. Don’t fucking make out with me in the park and be all suggestive when you really don’t give a flying fuck! It’s not that difficult of a concept to grasp!”

“I’m sorry.” Thranduil said meekly.

“Yeah right.” Bard huffed, pacing around the living room, clenching his fists as Thranduil tried to get closer to him. “Don’t touch me!”

“Bard, can I just explain?”

“Explain what? That you’ve been using me for your own amusement?”

“Stop. Just let me talk.”

“Fine. Talk then.”

“The reason I didn’t text you back was because my phone is broken-”

“That’s so original!” Bard scoffed and threw himself down onto the couch, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m fucking serious, so just shut up and let me finish... It’s been broken since Sunday night-”

“How convenient.” Bard said under his breath as he rolled his eyes. Did Thranduil think he was an idiot or something?

“BARD! Elrond broke it, okay? Are you happy?” Thranduil shouted, his voice wavering, as he bit his lip and sat down on the armchair beside the couch. His hands were busy fiddling with a strand of hair that he kept twirling around and around the same finger. He was visibly uncomfortable.

Bard flinched at the mention of this ‘Elrond’ person but didn’t react with anger, as he could see how Thranduil’s demeanour had all of a sudden changed.

“Who’s Elrond?” Bard asked.

“Someone I used to date.”

“Okay,” Bard took in a deep breath, telling himself not to lose it. “And why did he break your phone?”

“Because he’s a piece of shit and he deserves to die.” Thranduil scowled, expression painted with contempt.

“That’s pretty harsh.”

“It’s true.”

The blonde had wrapped both arms around himself and was rocking back and forth on the chair slightly. Bard could see that he was on the verge of crying.

“What did he do to you?” Bard asked, trying to sound as sincere as possible.

“It’s my own fault. I deserved it.”

“Deserved what?” Bard questioned, voice almost a whisper now.

“It doesn’t matter.” The words hardly even managed to escape the blonde’s lips before the tears were streaming down his face.

The sight of Thranduil in pain caused Bard to feel extremely guilty for being so rude only a moment ago. Bard’s reaction was automatic; he stood up, went over to the blonde and pulled him up into a hug.

“It’s okay, I’m sorry...for whatever he did and I’m sorry for being an asshole myself.” Bard whispered softly into Thranduil’s ear, as he stroked the blonde’s back soothingly.

“It’s okay, don’t be sorry, you have every right to be pissed.” Thranduil said back, voice faltering as he attempted to hold back his tears.

“What happened then? Why did you just disappear?” Bard asked, his grip still tight around Thranduil’s frame.

“I swear I wasn’t purposely ignoring you. I just didn’t know what to do. A lot of shit happened and I couldn’t bring myself to contact you even after I got my phone fixed...” Thranduil explained, words eventually trailing off as he pulled away from Bard and kept his gaze on the floor.

Bard kept his hands on the blonde’s arms, trying to comfort him and keep him close.

“Do you still even like me?” Bard finally asked. It was the one question that had been on his mind for the past few days and he needed to know the answer. No more games.

“What?” Thranduil’s eyes flicked up to meet Bard’s, “Of course I do. That’s why I’m here. I have no one else.”

“So, am I a last resort then?” Bard questioned, feeling like the blonde could very easily be using him, yet still trying to convince himself that they could truly be together happily.

“No, Bard, not at all.” Thranduil said, his eyes still glossy and wet from his tears, as he kept his eyes fixated on the brunette inquisitively.

“Okay...” Bard stepped back, pulling his hands off Thranduil’s arms. He felt like he was helpless, like he could never say the right thing. Sure, Thranduil was hurting, but Bard was hurt as well, and his feelings were also valid. He couldn’t just hide them anymore.

“Look, I am sorry that I freaked out that day and that I ran away. You just...scared me...”

“ _I_ scared _you_? How?”

Thranduil sighed and broke his eye contact with Bard, fidgeting restlessly with his hair as if his fingers had a mind of their own. “I really, _really_ like you and I just... _ran_. I guess my feelings were what scared me.”

At this Bard softened. He reached out for Thranduil’s hands, pulling them away from the strand of hair that he couldn’t stop toying with, and brought them into his own.

“I really like you too, so you have nothing to be scared of.”

“Seriously? You’ve seen me cry like three times now, and I got drunk the other day...”

“Don’t worry about that, ain’t nothin’ but a thang.” Bard joked, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

Thranduil sighed into the brunette’s shoulder, leaning his head down and breathing heavily into Bard’s hair. “Thanks, you really are too nice to me.”

“I care about you, you know? And I just want to make sure you’re okay. You are okay now, right?” Bard asked, holding Thranduil as close to himself as he possibly could.

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

Bard shifted back from the blonde and looked into his pale blue eyes, brushing away the remnants of tears that had stained his pretty face.

“I don’t like talking about this kind of stuff.” Thranduil said, lips pursed in a tight line.

“It’s okay, you can tell me anything, I won’t judge. I’m here to listen to whatever is bothering you. It will feel good to get it off your chest.”

“I don’t know if I should. I don’t want to unload my shit on you.”

“I really don’t mind. I want you to feel better and I think venting and letting it all out will help.” Bard suggested. It was bizarre that only a moment ago Bard had been on the verge of losing it and now he was back to himself and trying to comfort Thranduil. This strange blonde was like some sort of magical being that he couldn’t help but be kind to.

“Maybe...” Thranduil said, his eyes looking distant as if he was contemplating to himself whether or not to be honest with Bard.

“Do you want to go for a walk? Get some fresh air?” Bard proposed, hoping it would be a way to get Thranduil to open up to him. Bard really wanted to know the truth that the blonde kept buried within, he wanted to break down the walls that confined him.

“Yeah sure, a walk would be nice.” Thranduil said, making his way to the door before Bard.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. I don’t mean to push.” Bard said gently as the two of them stepped outside into the warmth of the midday sun.

“No, it’s okay. I just don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“I promise I can handle it.”

The brunette reached over to grab hold of Thranduil’s hand, cupping it within his own. He gave it a squeeze to let the blonde know it was okay, that he was here, and wasn’t going anywhere.

“Well...” Thranduil began, looking to Bard for reassurance, which Bard replied to with another squeeze of his hand. “I had to escape Tauriel’s place. Her fucking boyfriend won’t stop doing...illegal things. I honestly can’t be around all that shit. So I left.”

“So, where are you staying then?” Bard asked, genuinely concerned that Thranduil now had no place to live.

Thranduil exhaled loudly and Bard felt him try to tug his hand away. Clearly, what he had to say next made him uncomfortable enough to feel the need to retreat from Bard’s touch.

“It’s alright.” Bard said, trying to sound as comforting as possible. He didn’t want Thranduil to close himself off again.

“This is shameful, Bard. It really is. I stayed with my ex. Elrond, the one who should die. I know how stupid I am, I know it was an awful decision. I always seem to go back to what is familiar even if it hurts me. I didn’t want to be there, believe me. I shouldn’t have stayed with him but I didn’t want to be around Kili and his goddamn crack supplies!”

“Crack supplies?” Bard asked, trying to ignore the fact that he was rampant with jealousy on the inside because of the fact that Thranduil had been staying with his ex. Bard tried not to think about it, about what it meant, but his whole body felt weak from the mental image he was conjuring.

_Just be calm, Bard,_ he told himself. The brunette knew Thranduil was obviously having a hard time right now and he needed support and guidance, rather than repulsion and anger.

Bard swallowed hard, awaiting Thranduil’s next revelation.

“Kili, Tauriel’s boyfriend, is a serious drug dealer or some shit.”

“Do you do that stuff?” Bard blurted out, unable to contain his growing curiosity.

“Not recently. Well, I’ve never done crack. Cocaine, yes, but not crack. I haven’t done it for a few weeks. It’s not much but I’m trying.”

Bard didn’t know what to say to that. So, Leanna wasn’t bullshitting about the ‘coke’ use. Bard felt a little stupid. Of course she knew Thranduil better than Bard did. They had a child together.

Luckily, Thranduil continued, saving Bard from having to form words. His mind was blank all of a sudden.

“So, you can see why I had to get away from that environment. It was all very triggering.” Thranduil said, squeezing the brunette’s hand tenderly. Bard grasped Thranduil’s hand tighter; he needed something to hold onto to ground himself.

“Well, that’s good then. A good decision to get away from that.” Bard finally said, hoping his words didn’t sound too forced.

A drug user? Possibly a drug addict? What had Bard gotten himself into?

“I hope you don’t hate me because of the things I have done in the past.” Thranduil said with a weary look on his face, he could undoubtedly sense Bard’s apprehension.

“I don’t. I don’t even know that person; I know who you are now. And so far, I like what I know, even though I don’t know much. I want to know everything about you.” Bard spoke honestly. Despite being a bit uncomfortable about the drug use, he still wanted to be with Thranduil in every way possible.

“Bard, stop.” The blonde said, as his lips curled up into a smile.

“It’s true. I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me. I can sense that you are a good person who has had to deal with far too much shit.”

“Too much shit.” Thranduil echoed, letting go of Bard’s hand only to wrap his arm around the brunette’s waist, pulling their bodies together as they walked along indolently. “But, I’m trying really hard to get better.”

“I know, it will be okay.” Bard whispered into the blonde hair that was half covering his face. It smelled divine, despite how much of a mess it was at the moment. He wanted to smell that hair every day, he wanted to wake up with it plastered over his face.

He brushed a few loose strands behind the blonde’s ear, bringing his face in closer as he placed a delicate kiss upon Thranduil’s cheek. Thranduil turned his head to face Bard, his blue eyes staring straight into the brunette’s soul as he blinked slowly. His eyes closed and he pressed his soft lips to Bard’s, giving him a gentle kiss.

“Thank you, Bard.” Thranduil said, wrapping his arms around Bard’s waist and bringing him in for a hug.

The two had now stopped walking. They were just standing mindlessly on the sidewalk lost in each other’s embrace.

“Do you want to stay at my place for a while?” Bard asked without thinking twice. At this point, it felt like he would do anything for Thranduil. “My parents are on vacation for a few weeks and I still owe you that dinner, remember?”

“Yes, of course, your dinner offer, I remember. But, _really_? You’re asking me to stay with you? I wouldn’t want to impose.” Thranduil said, as his arms snaked around Bard’s neck, fingers twisting around the brunette’s loose curls.

“You wouldn’t be imposing at all. I _want_ you to stay with me. It’s a safe place. No drugs or anything triggering.”

“That does sound pretty good.” Thranduil mused.

“Will you accept my proposition then? Will you come home with me, Thranduil?” Bard asked again, pressing a chaste kiss to the blonde’s lips.

“Yes, I’ll come home with you.” Thranduil replied with a warm smile on his face. He wasted no time, locking lips with Bard again, this time the kisses were filled with passion and want. “I would go anywhere with you, darling.” He spoke against Bard’s lips as he broke the kiss, pulling Bard back in the direction of the house. “Let’s not waste any more time.”

Bard could hear the smirk in the tone of Thranduil’s voice as he was led towards his house.

This was going to be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH OH!  
> What will happen?!  
> Follow Thran on tumblr fuckyeahthrandypants.tumblr.com (I don't know how to do links, i'm useless!)


	10. Stillness in Woe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil is going to be staying at Bard's house for a while. He ends up with something he shouldnt have. He and Bard just can't catch a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY WOW.
> 
> I took long again. oopsies. But guess what?! This chapter is 10.7K, which is like double the length of a normal chapter so yay.  
> Hope it's not too long and boring. I like to add in stupid little details and random facts because it gives a better insight into the characters' lives.   
> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter though. It's bugging me but oh well, I just want to get it up :P
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Drug Use, Mentions of Abuse/Unhealthy Relationships, and um...Smut?
> 
> Ignore any spelling mistakes and grammar blunders! I wrote most of this late at night, very quickly, so the grammar/spelling is not up to par.

Thranduil’s grip on Bard’s hand tightened as he picked up the pace, towing the brunette behind him, making their way back to Bard’s house.

He was in utter disbelief that Bard had actually been so warm and supportive towards him even after he had opened up to the brunette about his troubles. Thranduil had honestly not even shared all that much with Bard, so although he reacted well to this information, he was scared about telling the brunette the whole story of his miserable life.

Bard knew enough for now. Thranduil did not have the patience to indulge him in every little detail of his past. The blonde was also quite wary of sharing the truth about his mental illness. That was something about himself that he could unfortunately not control and he didn’t want Bard to decide that it was all too much to handle and bail.

The awful things he had done with Elrond still weighed heavily on his mind, unsure if he should be honest with Bard about sleeping with his ex. Bard really didn’t need to hear that. Some things were better left unsaid. Thranduil would not be lying, just omitting the truth, and that, he reasoned, was fine given the situation.

When they arrived back at Bard’s house, Thranduil tossed his bag near the entrance and kicked his shoes off hurriedly. He turned around, pushing Bard, who still barely had his shoes off, into the wall as he pressed his lips to the brunette’s, stealing another kiss.

“Thank you.” Thranduil whispered into Bard’s mouth, “For being so kind and understanding, for offering to let me stay here, for everything...” His voice trailed off as he sealed his lips with the brunette’s once more.

“Of course.” Bard reassured, breath becoming heavy as he wrapped his arms around Thranduil’s lithe waist, causing the blonde to tremble under his touch.

Bard’s kisses calmed and excited Thranduil at the same time. In Bard’s gentle embrace he felt safe and whole. He felt complete – a feeling Thranduil had never, _ever_ felt before, not with Elrond or anyone else for that matter. It was wholly new for the blonde. And it made his heart swell with satisfaction.

Bard’s very presence comforted him and he felt for the first time that he could truly abandon all his fears and worries when the brunette kissed him. The feeling was nothing short of euphoric.

Bard unsealed their lips, leading Thranduil to the cozy couch in the living room. He sat down pulling the blonde on top of him as the two smirked at each other with lidded eyes. Bard quickly became interested in Thranduil’s necklace which was dangling down near his face. The brunette played with the necklace between his fingers as Thranduil cupped his hands on Bard’s face forcing them to make eye contact.

“Distracted, are we?” Thranduil teased, running his fingers back through Bard’s messy hair.

“This is nice, what stone is that?” Bard inquired as Thranduil sank down deeper onto his lap, giving him a light peck on the cheek.

“It’s angel aura quartz.” Thranduil answered, eyes preoccupied with the way Bard’s lips moved when he spoke.

“Hmm,” Bard mumbled into Thranduil’s neck, “It looks good on you.”

“Thanks, I made it.”

“You made it?” Bard asked, looking up at the blonde, who easily towered over him.

“Yeah, the wirework at least.” Thranduil said, holding up the stone which was wrapped intricately in thin silver wire.

“Very talented.” Bard praised as he nuzzled his face into Thranduil’s neck once again, pressing soft wet kisses along the blonde’s delicate skin.

“I’ve made tons of these things. The first ones weren’t so good. I could teach you.”

“Yes, you’ll have to.”

“Mmm.” Thranduil moaned as Bard licked a particularly sensitive spot on his neck.

He didn’t want to allow himself to have sex with Bard yet, but the idea was extremely tempting. He had fantasized about it since the first time he saw Bard, and to actually have that fantasy come true would be absolutely incredible. He didn’t want to push though. He was going to let Bard initiate whenever the time was right. Thranduil was not going to refuse if Bard wanted it as well.

But now, was not the right time. Thranduil felt dirty and extremely unsexy.

“Hey?” Thranduil said, pulling Bard’s attention away from devouring his neck.

“Yeah?” Bard panted, rubbing a thumb over the blonde’s cheek softly.

“You think I can shower? I feel super gross.”

“Yeah, of course...sorry.” Bard said, the look on his face giving away his obvious disappointment that they had to stop.

Thranduil placed a finger under Bard’s chin, directing the brunette’s gaze back to him. “You know I don’t want to stop, I’d just rather be clean for whatever may happen...”

The blonde captured Bard’s lips in his own in a feverish assault before he made to get up off the brunette’s lap, cheekily tracing a finger over Bard’s blatant arousal.

Bard’s eyes shot up and locked with Thranduil’s as he let out a small groan. Thranduil grinned back at him, pleased with himself for being able to tease Bard into such a state.

The blonde grabbed both of Bard’s hands, pulling him up off the couch.

“Aren’t you gonna show me where it is?”

“Yes, yes, of course, hold on.” Bard said, adjusting his pants, as Thranduil giggled at his struggle.

They walked up the stairs together, hand in hand. The feeling of being in an actual house was foreign to Thranduil. He had become so accustomed to Tauriel’s apartment or sleeping on random friends’ couches, that actually being in a real home frightened him slightly. It made him think of his parents, of his old family life. That was long gone. It did feel nice though, despite the sad memories. It was probably just because he was with Bard, but still, he liked it. It felt cozy and comforting.

“Okay, here you go.” Bard said, handing him a soft fuzzy towel – it was the nicest towel Thranduil had seen since he lived with his parents.

Bard led Thranduil to the washroom, located at the left down the short hallway. All the doors were closed and the blonde wondered which room was Bard’s.

“Do you have conditioner?” Thranduil asked.

“I just use that 2 in 1 stuff...”

“Ew. That stuff is shit.”

“Well, excuse me. I’m sure my mom has something.” Bard chuckled.

Thranduil set the towel down on the counter top as Bard leaned over the bath tub, rummaging around to find conditioner for Thranduil’s hair.

“Here, this good enough, princess?” Bard teased.

Thranduil gasped and swatted at Bard before letting out a laugh. “Yes, asshole. That’s perfect. Thanks.”

“Let me know if you need anything.” Bard said, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he left the washroom, closing the door behind him.

After Thranduil had finished showering, he realized how much of an idiot he was. He was so wrapped up in making out with Bard that he didn’t even bring his bag up with him. Now, he had no clean clothes to change into. He did not want to put back on the same disgusting clothes he had been wearing earlier. The pants were fine, but he wasn’t just going to wear pants and nothing else.

He put his wet hair up in a messy bun and wrapped the towel around his waist. It hung a little lower than he deemed appropriate, but that was fine. It was never wrong to try and turn Bard on.

Thranduil slowly made his way down the stairs, purposely slinking along trying to listen in on whatever it was Bard was doing. The framed pictures on the walls caught the blonde’s attention and he couldn’t help himself – he had to stop and look. Young Bard was utterly adorable. It made Thranduil squeal internally.

He absently pulled the elastic out of his hair as he turned to make his way to the entrance where he had left his bag, crashing into Bard’s chest as he did so. The quick pull of the elastic from Thranduil’s hair sent water droplets splattering onto Bard’s face.

“Oh shit! Sorry!” Thranduil gasped, far too aware of the brunette’s rough hands on his skin.

“It’s okay.” Bard laughed, pulling back as his eyes grew wide at the image of Thranduil in nothing but a towel, long wet hair dripping down his slender chest.

“I need fresh clothes.” Thranduil commented, as a knowing smirk formed on his lips. He could feel Bard’s eyes drinking him in. God, what he would give to get Bard out of his clothes as well.

“Do you have any with you? I could give you-”

“Yeah, I’ve got some stuff in my bag.” Thranduil walked, or more like strutted, past Bard, pulling his dripping hair over his shoulder.

“Oh my god!” Bard blurted, clearly he noticed Thranduil’s tattoo. “That’s a massive tattoo, holy shit. It looks amazing!”

“Oh, thanks.” Thranduil replied, grabbing his bag off the floor and turning back around to face Bard. He went to make his way back up the stairs, where he left all his dirty clothes, but was stopped by the curious brunette.

“Let me see it.” Bard said, coming to stand behind Thranduil, brushing any loose strands of hair out of the way.

Thranduil shuddered at the feeling of Bard’s fingertips tracing lightly along the outline of his tattoo.

“It looks so good. What kind of antlers are those supposed to be? Moose?”

“They’re elk antlers, irish elk to be exact. They’re extinct.”

Thranduil’s tattoo covered almost half of his back. The antlers started at the centre of his back, between his shoulder blades, the tops of the antlers reaching up close to the back of his neck, nearly wrapping around his shoulders. The antlers were entwined with elaborate vines and branches that sprawled out to the backs of his arms and twisted around near his ribs.

Bard’s hands continued tracing down the blonde’s sides, stopping quickly and rubbing gentle circles into his skin. Thranduil had all but forgotten about the bruises Elrond had littered all over his body.

The blonde swiftly turned around to face Bard as he clutched his bag tightly against his torso, smiling sheepishly.

“How’d you get so bruised up?” Bard asked with a concerned tone.

Be honest or lie? Thranduil didn’t want to lie anymore, it was a tiring game. But he was afraid Bard would be put off if he told the truth. Just fucking suck it up and be honest, he told himself, what’s the worst that could happen?

“Remember that asshole ex I told you about?”

“Yeah, he did this to you?!” Bard gaped, shock and anger consuming his usually carefree expression.

“Yes, he’s a piece of shit. I told you he deserves to die.”

“That pisses me off that someone would do that to you.”

“Don’t worry about it; he’s always been a violent person.” Thranduil said flippantly.

“He recently did this?” Bard pressed. Thranduil could feel the frustration rising in his voice.

“Yeah, just a few days ago.”

“What the fuck! Why?”

“I – I didn’t want to...cooperate.”

Bard made a disapproving sound. “Oh.” Thranduil knew Bard was smart enough to put two and two together; he didn’t have to spell it out.

“Yeah, just forget it. There’s nothing I can do to change it now.” Thranduil sighed, becoming a bit annoyed at the turn the conversation had taken.

“Okay, sorry. It’s still wrong what he did, I hope you know that.”

“I know.”

“Now, go change.” Bard said, a smile making its way back to his face.

Thranduil went back up stairs to the bathroom to collect his clothes and change into fresh ones. When he was done, he made his way down the steps yanking his hair out of the neck of his shirt. He grabbed a brush from his bag, running it through the length of his hair a few times before he made his way to find Bard in the living room.

“Hey.” Bard said as he turned around, irritation still written on his face due to Thranduil’s dismissive nature regarding Elrond’s abusive ways. The blonde actually thought it was extremely sweet that Bard got so angry about it. It meant he would never do something like that to Thranduil. He would be much more caring.

“Hey, so aren’t you supposed to make me dinner?” Thranduil teased.

“Tomorrow. I need to get ingredients. I can order a pizza if you want. And we can put on something to watch.”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

Thranduil took a seat on the couch, folding a long leg underneath himself and pulling one knee up to his chest.

Bard was still standing, pacing around the room before he closed the blinds, blocking out most of the light.

“What do you want to watch?”

“You have Netflix?”

“Of course, who doesn’t?”

“You like American Dad?” Thranduil asked, hopeful that Bard would say yes.

“Yeah, I love it.”

“Good! Put on a random episode and sit down then.”

“Okay then, bossypants.” Bard joked good naturedly, as he proceeded to sit down on the couch beside the blonde. He started up an episode of American Dad, as he grabbed his phone off the coffee table.

“Oh, yes! I love this one where Roger is the decider!” Thranduil laughed, remembering just how stupid the episode actually was. Such mindless entertainment.

“I’m gonna order pizza now, what kind do you like?”

“Just cheese.”

“Okay, I’ll get it delivered.”

Bard ordered their pizza, which he was told would be delivered in less than a half an hour, before he placed his phone back on the table and slouched back into the couch cushions.

The brunette looked over at Thranduil, his gaze unmoving.

“What?” Thranduil said, catching Bard staring at him.

“Nothing. You’re just the most attractive person I’ve ever seen. It’s like you’re not even human.” Bard said, reaching his hand over and running his fingers along Thranduil’s forearm. “How are you real?”

“Aw, that’s so sweet, but I assure you I am human, same as you.”

“Nah, you’re like an angel or something.”

“Bard!” Thranduil exclaimed, blushing intensely at the brunette’s kind heartwarming words.

It was not the first time Thranduil had heard something like that from someone; he was used to compliments about his appearance. But when Bard said it, it just felt...different. Thranduil believed Bard. It was sincere, the brunette meant the words he said, he wasn’t just spewing them to get into Thranduil’s pants. Thranduil knew from past experience that most people were just in it for a quick fuck, but Bard was different. Bard cared.

The brunette’s fingers found their way into Thranduil’s damp hair, examining the tresses between his fingers.

“So, are you a natural blonde?”

“Yes,” Thranduil responded, “I don’t know what the fuck happened to my eyebrows though.”

Bard choked out a laugh. “Your eyebrows are, what do they say? On point?”

“Thanks.” Thranduil stifled a laugh, “Everyone thinks I’m a bottle blonde because of them, but this is the hair color I was born with.”

“It’s so long and soft. Is it naturally straight too?”

“For the most part, but it can get super frizzy so I have to use a straightener.” Thranduil said, running his fingers lazily through a large piece of his hair, absentmindedly braiding the damp stringy strands.

Bard looked up at the blonde, blinking softly through his long lashes. “Can I brush it?”

“Oh my god, Bard. Do you have a hair kink?”

“Maybe.” Bard flashed a devilish smirk at Thranduil as he shifted closer to him on the couch.

Thranduil handed his brush to Bard, “Go for it. I’ll get on the floor if you’d like.”

“No, no, stay there.” Bard proceeded to position himself behind Thranduil, both legs coming to rest around the blonde. Thranduil placed his hands on Bard’s thighs as the brunette began to gentle run the brush through his hair.

“Mmm, that feels nice.”

Neither of them had been paying any attention to the television, so wrapped up in each other’s presence.

“It’s crazy how your hair doesn’t tangle at all.” Bard commented.

“You should see the mess it becomes in the morning.”

“I bet it’s adorable.”

“It’s a nest when I wake up, so I normally just sleep with it in a braid.”

“Hmm. Braids are nice.” Bard murmured absently, running his fingers over the tresses that he was brushing.

“Where do you want me to sleep anyway?” The blonde asked as he gently rubbed circles into Bard’s thighs with his thumbs.

“There’s a guest room, or you could have my bed...whatever works for you.”

“The guest room is fine; I don’t want to take your bed!”

“Well...we could share my bed.” Bard suggested as he sat the brush down on the couch, wrapping his arms around Thranduil’s chest, holding him close.

“Really?” Thranduil tilted his head around slightly so he could make eye contact with Bard. He gasped audibly when Bard’s lips captured his.

“Yes, really.” Bard whispered against his lips.

Thranduil exhaled deeply, entwining his slender fingers with Bard’s as he turned his body so he could kiss the brunette properly. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue over Bard’s lips before letting it slide into the brunette’s mouth.

Bard groaned in response and pulled Thranduil onto his lap without breaking the kiss. Thranduil couldn’t help but notice the way Bard tugged ever so gently on his hair, gathering it over his shoulders so he could run his fingers through the strands.

Thranduil responded to the tugging of his hair by nipping at Bard’s lower lip before plunging his tongue back into the brunette’s mouth once more. He could feel Bard exhaling heavily through his nose and this only caused Thranduil to kiss him more intensely and passionately.

After a few minutes of torturous heated kisses, Bard pulled his lips away from Thranduil’s, focusing now on the blonde’s jaw, moving his lips devastatingly slowly down his neck until he reached his collarbone. Thranduil let out a guttural moan as Bard’s tongue moved in circular patterns over his clavicle.

“Bard...” The blonde cooed, wrapping his arms around Bard’s neck. He could barely think clearly at this point, completely intoxicated by Bard’s unique scent. God, he smelled good.

“Mhmm?” Bard responded with a groan as he sucked on Thranduil’s delicate skin. That would surely leave a mark. The thought of Bard marking up his skin was such a turn on for Thranduil that it caused a spark to surge through his entire being. His body was like a livewire.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, my god.” Bard said between breaths as he bit down in the crook of Thranduil’s neck causing the blonde to let out a high pitched moan. His grasp on the brunette’s neck tightened in response to the feeling of Bard claiming his neck in such a raw and sensual way.

Thranduil instinctively grabbed at the neck of Bard’s shirt, yanking it upward in a clumsy attempt to rid the brunette of the offensive article of clothing. Bard, sensing what the blonde was trying to do, helped him with his task by pulling his shirt up and over his head, tossing it in the general direction of the armchair.

“Fuck!” Thranduil exclaimed, taking in the sight of Bard’s perfectly toned chest. “Your body is like...perfect. Holy shit.”

“Thanks, I try to stay fit.” Bard blushed, burying his face back into Thranduil’s neck, hands slipping up under the blonde’s shirt.

He ran his nails over Thranduil’s sensitive skin, eliciting a deep moan from his lips. Bard rubbed both hands over Thranduil’s back in slow strokes before finally pulling at the hem of his shirt, yanking it up and pulling it over the blonde’s head.

Thranduil swung his hair around as he leaned in pressing another wet, wanton kiss to the brunette’s now swollen lips. Thranduil trailed his fingers up Bard’s chest eventually bringing his thumb up to play with Bard’s bottom lip.

Bard was now bucking his hips upward, in search of any kind of friction he could get. Thranduil reacted to the gesture by rolling his hips down, feeling Bard’s arousal rubbing against his own through the restricting fabric of their jeans.

Thranduil’s head was spinning, completely lost in his all-consuming desire for Bard. He had never wanted anyone like this before. Most of his sexual encounters were either unwanted or they were just conquests – people he did not even have feelings for.

He continued grinding down into Bard with growing force, moving his hips in a circular motion as seductively as he could, practically giving the brunette a lap dance in his living room.

“Oh, fuck.” Bard exhaled, grasping onto Thranduil’s hips as used his hands to guide the blonde body into a synchronized rhythm that matched the bucking of his own hips.

“I want you so bad.” Thranduil purred, his tone pure seduction as his deft fingers began undoing Bard’s pants.

“Mmm, yes. I want you too.” Bard breathed, voice coming out staccato, as he nipped and licked Thranduil’s neck, leaving a trail of wetness behind. Thranduil pushed Bard back into the couch cushions licking from his chest up to his neck before he sucked a mark into the brunette’s skin.

Thranduil fumbled with Bard’s zipper, eventually getting it undone as he slipped his hand past the brunette’s boxers finally taking hold of Bard’s thick, heavy cock.

Bard let out a loud sigh, cupping his hand over Thranduil’s and moving it in slow stroking gestures over his hard length. The blonde continued to pump his cock as Bard’s hands quickly undid Thranduil’s pants, sliding them down in a fluid motion. Thranduil shimmied out of his pants and returned to his position on top of the brunette, continuing to languidly stroke Bard’s dick.

Thranduil was wearing tight little briefs with hearts all over them. Bard groaned in approval at the sight of the blonde in nothing but his underwear.

“Fuck, you’re adorable.”

“Mmm, I know.” Thranduil smirked, batting his eyelashes mischievously.

He stopped rubbing Bard’s cock, only to grab the brunette’s hands and place them over his own arousal which was painfully hard. Thranduil was aching for Bard’s touch. He needed it. A fire was blazing inside him and he needed Bard to fuel the flames.

Bard pushed the blonde down on the couch as he crawled over his lithe body, his hand finally returning to palm at Thranduil’s erection. The brunette stopped abruptly, eyes becoming wide with shock and realization. Thranduil smirked and pressed a kiss to his slack lips.

Thranduil continued pumping at Bard’s cock, while he used his other hand to guide Bard’s hand to the waistband of his briefs signaling for the brunette to completely remove them.

Bard’s whole body shuddered as he pulled Thranduil’s underwear down, finally freeing his cock. Thranduil bucked his hips upward as Bard wrapped his hand around the base of his dick, stroking his hand slowly upward until he reached the tip.

Another gasped escaped Bard’s mouth and this time Thranduil let out a chuckle.

“Holy fuck, Thran.” The brunette exclaimed, looking down to take in the sight of Thranduil completely naked and writhing beneath him.

Thranduil batted his lashes innocently, playing coy, he knew Bard was in awe and he liked to play along.

“You have a pretty cock. And that piercing - oh my god! I never would have guessed.”

“I’m just full of surprises.”

Just as Bard began kissing his way down Thranduil’s body, the sound of the doorbell interrupted them.

“Are you fucking kidding?” Bard sighed heavily, grunting as he shifted his weight off of the blonde beneath him.

“The pizza!!!” Thranduil practically yelled, remembering that they had indeed ordered pizza.

Bard nearly fell onto the floor as he scrambled to get all his clothes back on while shouting to the door that he was coming. Thranduil put his pants back on but didn’t move from the living room. He was entirely too comfortable on the couch. He wasn’t even sure if he was hungry for pizza. Right now all he was hungry for was Bard.

He knew he had to wait. He had to be patient. It would be so much better if he could just control his urges.

When Bard returned with the pizza the two of them ate mostly in silence, much too hungry to bother with conversation. American Dad was still playing in the background but they weren’t really paying much attention to it at all.

It was starting to get dark outside by the time they finished their meal and tidied up. Bard wanted to go for a shower, so Thranduil stayed on the couch, lying down and feeling like he had eaten way too much.

He decided he would text Tauriel to see if it was okay for him to drop by and pick up a few things from her place tomorrow. Thranduil could not survive with so little clothing. And if he would be at Bard’s place for a while then he needed to pick up the essentials.

_Heyyy. Are you gonna be home tomorrow? I need to stop by to pick up some of my shit._

Thranduil hadn’t been expecting Tauriel to reply so quickly, but thankfully she did.

**_Yeah, I’ll be home pretty much all day. Come by anytime after 11am. Where are you anyway?!_ **

Of course she wanted to know where he was. Thranduil had just up and left without so much as saying goodbye to his best friend. He knew that she worried about him but not enough to stop using drugs in his presence. She knew well enough that Thranduil was fed up with Kili’s “job” as a drug dealer. But then again, Thranduil had no say in how he lived his life. It was their apartment, and the blonde was only a guest so his opinion mattered little.

_K. I’ll come at around 11 then. I’ll be out anyway for a meeting with Tracey. I’m with Bard, so don’t worry about me._

**_BARD??!!?!!!!! Your gift shop lover?! OW OW_ **

_Yes. Geeze, don’t give yourself a heart attack._

**_Did u sleep with him?!?!!?_ **

_NOOOOOOOO._

**_TELLL MEEEE THRAN._ **

_I didn’t. I’d tell you if I did. Okay?!? Goodnight! XXXXX_

**_Fine. Asshole. Night night xoxo_ **

****

Bard appeared at the foot of the stairs, his hair wet and straggly, wearing his pajamas as he motioned for Thranduil to follow him up stairs. Thranduil followed without question. Bard led the blonde to his bedroom instead of the guest room.

“You wanna sleep here with me?”

“I’d love to.” Thranduil grinned, happiness spreading in his heart.

“Good, I wouldn’t have let you sleep in the guest room anyway.”

“Oh?”

“No, I want you in my bed.” Bard said, pulling Thranduil down into the soft pillows so he could embrace the blonde in a cuddle.

“Oh really?” Thranduil teased, tossing around, attempting to tickle Bard, but being swatted and pushed away playfully.

“Yes, really.”

“Good I’m glad.”

“Me too. I can put on my TV for a while before we go to sleep.”

“Okay. Just let me get changed.” Thranduil said, pushing himself from the bed and removing his clothes. He realized he didn’t exactly have any proper ‘sleepwear’, he normally just slept in his clothes. Thranduil stood at the side of the bed while Bard eyed him, finally able to get a good look at his almost naked form.

“You want a shirt or something? It’s pretty cold in my house.”

“Yeah, please.”

Bard gave Thranduil an old cozy band t-shirt to sleep in and before too long the two of them were snuggling in the brunette’s bed watching reruns of Bob’s Burgers.

“So, I work tomorrow from eight to four, but I can leave a house key for you so you can come and go if you need to.” Bard said, stretching out his arms and motioning for Thranduil to come closer.

Did Bard really trust Thranduil in his house all alone, even going so far as to provide him with a key? It was very strange; any other person would just tell the blonde to go out during the day so he wouldn’t have to be alone in their house with their possessions. Bard was far too trusting for his own good.

“Thanks, but I’ll be out most of the day anyway. I’ve got some things I need to do.” Thranduil said, scooting closer to Bard, letting the brunette’s arms enclose around him.

“Okay, that’s good then. I’ve got to leave at around six forty five to make it to work on time. When will you be up?”

“So early.” Thranduil whined, leaning his head into Bard’s shoulder, drawing absentminded patterns on his chest. “I have a meeting with Tracey at nine.”

“Oh, that lady you were with when we first met at the gift shop?”

“Yup, that’s her.”

“She seems really nice.” Bard commented, squeezing tighter around Thranduil’s waist.

“Yeah, she is. She’s the best.”

“I’ll leave you the key then so you don’t have to wake up as early as I do.”

“You’re sure that’s okay?”

“Yeah, it’s no problem. And when I get home I’ll make you dinner.”

“Oooo!” Thranduil chimed, “I’m excited for that. You’re so sweet.”

“Anything for you.” Bard said kindly, pressing a kiss to the top of Thranduil’s head. “So what else do you have planned for tomorrow?”

“Well, I have to go to Tauriel’s place to pick up some of my clothes and stuff, otherwise I’ll be stuck wearing the same three outfits everyday and that’s just gross. Oh, and I should probably go see Galion about my money.”

The mention of an unfamiliar name caused Bard to hum curiously, shifting his position beside the blonde.

“Who’s Galion and why does he have your money?” Bard questioned.

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s just my parents’ old housekeeper, or butler...” Thranduil stammered, unsure of Galion’s actual title. “He used to work for us, and he practically helped raise me, so after my parents died he became my trustee, I think that’s the term, so yeah, he’s in control of my inheritance so to speak...”

“Damn. You had a butler? Were you rich?”

“Yeah, pretty much. Riches to rags, the story of my life.” Thranduil chuckled, mostly to himself. “But, yeah, all that money is mine but I don’t have access to it. My mom set it all up under Galion’s name because she knew I was...unstable and the money wouldn’t exactly be in good hands with me. So every month I get a certain amount from Galion. Enough to survive. He didn’t give me the full amount last month so I need to go see him tomorrow.” Thranduil explained, suddenly feeling like he was talking way too much.

“When you say ‘all that money’, how much do you mean? Like millions?” Bard asked, clearly intrigued, his body now turned enough to make eye contact with the blonde.

“Yes, Bard, I’m technically a millionaire,” Thranduil laughed, “a homeless millionaire.”

“That’s crazy. You have a very interesting life story.”

“Maybe I’ll write a memoir one day.” Thranduil mused.

“You actually should.”

“Maybe I will.” Thranduil yawned, stretching himself out before curling up into Bard’s chest.

“We should probably get some sleep now.” Bard said, rubbing his hand up and down the length of Thranduil’s arm.

“Yeah, I’m tired.”

Thranduil set the alarm on his phone and left it to charge on the bed side table.

“So, I’ll leave the key for you in the morning, then.” Bard said before turning off the lamp.

“Okay, thanks.”

That night, the blonde fell asleep more comfortable and happy than he had in ages. He felt so much lighter, as if he hadn’t a care in the world.

Thranduil awoke in the morning to the persistent sound of his alarm. He stretched his arms around, realizing where he was and that he was now alone in an empty bed. The birds were singing outside and the sun was beginning to peak through the blinds, brightening the room. It was a very peaceful scene and Thranduil didn’t want to bring himself to get out of bed – Bard’s bed. What a glorious thought.

Next to him, resting on Bard’s pillow was a small handwritten note.

_Key is on the kitchen table. Hope you have a wonderful day, beautiful. Xo_

Thranduil sat up in the bed, holding the note and smiling like an idiot. He bet he looked ridiculous.

The blonde drug himself from the comfort of the bed lethargically, not wanting to do anything but spend the entire day sleeping and being lazy. It was now eight o’clock and Thranduil’s stomach was crying out for food, so he got dressed and made his way downstairs to find something to eat.

He rummaged through Bard’s fridge and ended up finding an apple and some fruit juice – better than his usual diet of candy for breakfast, or no breakfast at all. This all felt so domestic and normal to him, and it was quite bizarre for someone who was used to a life filled with so much instability and turmoil. It felt like a farce.

He dug through his bag in search of his medication. If he didn’t take that then the whole world could literally crash down around him.

_Lithium 600mg twice daily_

_Clonazepam 4mg as needed_

_Escitalopram 50mg once daily_

_Quetiapine 37.5mg before bed_

He took the pills that he needed to, laughing slightly to himself. ‘Mickey Rooney’s crazy pills’ is what he referred to his medication as, ever since Family Guy made a joke about it. The humor behind it served as a reminder to actually take his pills; thankfully, it was usually the first thing he thought of when he woke up.

He grabbed the key from the kitchen, making his way to the front door. He didn’t want to be late for his appointment with Tracey.

Instantly the heat outside made Thranduil feel sick and groggy – it was only early still but he could already tell that it was going to be another disgustingly hot and humid day. Summer was definitely not his favorite season; he enjoyed spring and fall when the temperature was bearable and the air felt fresh.

He called Tracey to see if she could pick him up so they could have their meeting in the park or preferably a Starbucks so they could escape the heat. Tracey agreed to pick him up, but of course was a little late, which was typical.

Luckily there was a Starbucks close by so they didn’t have to drive around too long. They went inside and ordered their beverages, Tracey got a tall Americano and Thranduil got a venti green tea frappucino with two pumps of peppermint – his absolute favorite.

Thranduil updated Tracey regarding all that had happened in the past few days with Elrond. He had to suffer through her advice, promising that he would cut off all ties with such a toxic person. They talked about Bard and his kind offer of letting Thranduil stay at his place, which still resulted in a few lectures on co-dependency and clinginess.

Tracey was happy to know that at least the blonde was attempting to remove himself from Tauriel and Kili’s place, and any other possibly ‘harmful’ environments. Though, it did seem that no matter what Thranduil did it was never enough, and Tracey still had her worries and doubts. Most likely because he had screwed up so many times in the past and never seemed to learn his lesson.

They talked for a little over an hour and Tracey made sure to drill into Thranduil’s head that he needed to attend the mental health day program that Dr. Grey had referred him to. He assured his counsellor, multiple times, that he would not miss it. The program began on Monday and it was pretty much an all day affair – starting at nine in the morning and ending at two thirty in the afternoon. It went on every day of the week for eight to twelve weeks, depending on how clients responded. At least it would be something to do, a way to stay busy and out of trouble. Thranduil was still not looking forward to it though.

After his meeting, Thranduil walked to Tauriel’s place, not bothering to ask Tracey to drop him off, making sure he would arrive at precisely eleven and no earlier. He always dreaded going to that apartment complex, it brought back unwanted memories and left a sour taste in his mouth. The upset feeling in Thranduil’s stomach only intensified by the time he reached the main entrance, pushing the buttons on the pinpad so his friend could let him in.

A muffled voice greeted Thranduil through the old worn out speaker and he was buzzed in. He opted to take the stairs, never feeling fully comfortable in the elevator in that building – he didn’t trust it, or the people he may consequently run into.

The blonde swallowed the lump in his throat and let out a heavy sigh, mentally preparing himself before knocking on the door. Thranduil was greeted quickly by Tauriel, who had flung the door open, wrapping an arm around him and ushering him inside.

“Close the door fast! We don’t want to stink up the hallway!” Tauriel instructed before going back to sit on the couch beside her boyfriend. All of Kili’s focus was on the video game he was playing and he only grunted a hello to Thranduil as the blonde took a seat on the lazyboy.

“So, what’re you guys doing?” Thranduil asked, looking around and spotting Tauriel’s bong on the floor beside the couch. The whole apartment stunk of weed.

“Just smoking, doing lines.” Tauriel replied, picking up the bong and packing the bowl with weed from a small silver grinder which she had balanced on her knees.

“Shhh!” Kili shushed her, obviously not wanting to share his supply.

Thranduil laughed awkwardly, “Don’t worry; I don’t want your shit, Kili.”

“That’s not how it went down last time you fucking robbed me.” Kili scoffed.

The blonde sighed, playing with his phone trying to avoid eye contact with the small man on the couch.

“Stop it Kee,” Tauriel warned. “Don’t be an ass.”

“I’m not the ass here.” He mumbled, still focused on his video game. “FUCK!” Kili threw the controller in the direction of the television, luckily missing his target.

“Yes, I know I’m an ass. I’ll just get my shit and go.”

“Yeah, do that.” Kili snapped, pulling out a small mirror containing a familiar white powdery substance from the inside of the side table drawer. He placed the mirror on the coffee table in front of him and used a blade to divide the powder up into equal sized lines.

Thranduil stood up, averting his gaze from Kili’s tempting activities, as he made his way to the bedroom where most of his stuff was already in a large black garbage bag. Tauriel followed him closely, shutting the bedroom door behind them.

“Sorry about him, he’s extra bitchy lately. He almost got booked last night.”

“Whatever, Tauriel, don’t defend him, he’s always like this.”

“He’s just on edge!”

“Yeah, and the cocaine is going to be such a help.” Thranduil snorted, rolling his eyes.

“What the fuck, Thran! What happened to you? You used to love partying with us. You used to know how to have fun.”

“You know as well as I do that I can’t live like that anymore.”

Thranduil finished collecting as much of his things as he could locate, trying to be quick so he could leave as soon as possible. He could hear Tracey’s voice in his head screaming ‘harmful environment!’

“Aw, babe. You want a toke at least?” Tauriel asked as they walked back out to the living room.

“He’s not smoking my shit.” Kili grumbled, head down, looking at his phone while his fingers moved rapidly over the touch screen.

“It’s mine too, so shush.” Tauriel replied.

“I’ll be back.” Kili commented, standing from the couch, eyes still locked to his phone as he grabbed a few small baggies from the kitchen table before leaving, slamming the door on his way out.

Tauriel was crouched down in front of the bong, which she swiftly passed to Thranduil, who waved off her offer. The blonde had become increasingly uncomfortable with the cocaine that was left out in the open. It was beckoning him.

_Just one more time. It won’t kill you. You don’t have to do it again. Only once more. No one will know_.

“Thran? Wake up! You want this bowl?”

“Uh...I shouldn’t...”

“But you want to. C’mon, you’re so stiff, you need to relax.”

“No, I can’t.” Thranduil replied sternly, still eyeing that fucking cocaine that was calling his name.

“You can do a line if you want, Kili won’t care. Some of it is mine too.”

“Fuck. I want to so bad. But I can’t, I gotta go now.”

Tauriel grabbed one of the small baggies from the table and put it in Thranduil’s hand. “Here, for later.” She said, winking at him.

“Thanks, I think...” Thranduil said, hesitation coating his words. He put the baggy in his pocket, making his way to the door.

“No problem, babes. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“We should definitely chill soon, just us.”

“Okay, text me.”

“I will.”

“See ya.”

“Bye Thran.”

When Thranduil exited the apartment building he wanted to scream until he couldn’t feel the back of his throat anymore. The walk back to Bard’s place felt a lot longer than it actually was. The cocaine was burning a hole in his pocket; it was all he could think about.

He arrived back at Bard’s a little after twelve and he had nothing to do. His mind was stirring and his hands were shaking. He sat on the doorstep smoking a cigarette, trying desperately to talk himself out of doing the cocaine. The devil and the angel on his shoulders were at war with each other and the battle weighed him down, making him feel utterly exhausted.

_Do it, do it, do it! You know you want to!_

_No, it’s bad, don’t do it, you’ll regret it!_

_Nah, you’ll be fine. Just do it. Just one more time._

_No! Do not do it! You’ll end up getting sucked back into that life!_

“Fuck!” Thranduil was on his third cigarette now. He was in a daze, staring into nothingness, lost in his own mind. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, attempting to distract himself. He knew he should probably text Tracey, but he didn’t, instead he texted Bard.

_Hope you’re having a good day at work ;)_

Fortunately, Bard was rather quick with his response. The brunette must be on his break, it was lunch time after all.

**_hey! thanks, its going good. hows your day so far?_ **

Thranduil wanted to tell the truth and say that his day was fucking shit and that he was so close to doing cocaine and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself because the drug was right fucking there, in the palm of his hand. But he didn’t say any of that.

_It’s boring so far. I can’t wait to see you tonight :*_

**_aw, i can’t wait to see you too. less than 4 hours to go. did you get your stuff? how was your appointment with tracey?_ **

_I got everything I needed, and the appointment with Tracey was alright, same as usual. Are you on your lunch break?_

**_that’s good! :) yes, on my break now. its soon over though. i’ll see you around 5ish_ **

_Enjoy the rest of your shift. See you soon ;)_

Thranduil decided to finally pick himself up from the doorstep and go inside. It was nice to have a house to himself but he didn’t know what to do now that he was alone. His stomach was in knots and it made him feel physically ill. He ended up going to Bard’s room because he felt he needed to lie down. Maybe he would take a nap to help the time go by faster, to get his mind off the drug that haunted him.

He took off his tight skinny jeans and replaced them with sweat pants, finally being able to feel comfortable again as he lounged on Bard’s bed. In his hand he held the small baggy, inspecting it as he twirled it around between his fingers. His palms were sweaty and he could feel the ache in his chest growing by the second. Maybe he could just do a bit. Maybe it would be fine and he wouldn’t need to get more. Or maybe he would fuck up everything.

He put the cocaine away in a small compartment in his bag. _Just go to sleep, just forget about it_. But how was he going to sleep when his mind was racing in all directions? He did what he always did; he took two clonazepams, knowing how drowsy it would make him. Sleep would come soon enough.

And it did. Before he knew it he was dozing off. It was a restless sleep, but at least it was better than dealing with his constant inner chaos.

It was almost four thirty when he woke up, glad that the time had passed so quickly. Bard would soon be home and the thought ignited a fire in his heart. Bard was perfect, Bard was good and pure and kind and oh so selfless. It was exactly what Thranduil needed in his world. It could very possibly be his salvation.

Thranduil lazed around in Bard’s bed, dozing in and out of consciousness while he listening to his music. He didn’t have it in him to get up off the bed. Really, what else did he have to do? On any other Friday night he would undoubtedly be out partying until he couldn’t remember his own name, but not tonight.

He didn’t want to be in Bard’s bed by the time the brunette arrived home, so he mustered up the strength to get up. He took his time smoothing out the sheets on the bed, making it neat and tidy, appearing as though he was never even there in the first place.

Thranduil wandered around the house with his headphones in his ears listening to ‘King of the World’ by Porcelain and the Tramps. That used to be his song back in high school. Listening to it again was very nostalgic. He turned off the music suddenly as the song changed to ‘I Feel Perfect’; it reminded him of Elrond and drugs, and that was the last thing he wanted to be thinking of.

Feeling a little flustered, Thranduil sent a quick text to Leanna to see if it was possible to get Legolas on either Saturday or Sunday, knowing his son could bring peace to his mind and help distract him from any bad thoughts. There seemed to be a lot of those right now, probably due to the fact that he had cocaine on him that he had no idea what to do with.

Bard will be home soon, he told himself. Just breathe and wait it out.

Figuring Bard would soon be back, the blonde decided to wait outside and get some fresh air while he smoked a cigarette. So, it wasn’t really fresh air, but Thranduil didn’t know how to go outside without smoking. It was second nature. If he was outside, he would more than likely be smoking as well. He hoped Bard, being as seemingly pure as he was, did not feel completely disgusted by his bad habit.

While Thranduil was waiting outside, he got a text message from Leanna.

**_I’m going out tomorrow night and was gonna ask my mom to watch him but I guess you can have him if you want?_ **

_Yeah. What time do you want me to get him?_

**_Like noon?_ **

_Okay, that works. You want me to come to your place? Or meet somewhere?_

**_I have the car, I can drop him off. Where will you be?_ **

_I can meet you at the park. Is that okay?_

**_Yup. Thats better. It would be weird to show up somewhere if youre with one of your fuckboys._ **

_???? Don’t be rude_

**_Well it’s true._ **

_Okay, whatever. I’ll text you in the morning._

Thranduil absolutely hated dealing with Leanna. No matter what she always had to bring his sex life into the conversation and end up making him feel like some sort of predator, when really it was the complete opposite. He didn’t take advantage of anyone, they took advantage of him. And being the masochist he was, he let people do whatever they wanted to him.

The blonde was so caught up in his thoughts about how promiscuous everyone believed he was, he almost didn’t notice Bard’s car pulling up in the drive way. He was pulled from his train of thought by the loud sound of a car door shutting.

“Hey!” Bard called out, as he went around to the back of the car to get some bags out of the trunk.

“Hey.” Thranduil replied, standing up to go over and help Bard with the bags.

“How was your day?” Bard asked, handing a bag to Thranduil.

“Not too bad. Have a good day at work?”

“Meh, same as usual. Boring.” Bard said, as the two of them made their way to the house with the few bags of food that Bard had brought home.

“Well, we will have more fun tonight.” Thranduil said suggestively, trying to inspect what was in the bags as they walked up the steps. “What did you buy?”

“Oh, just some stuff for dinner and a few snacks.”

When they got inside and made their way to the kitchen, they put the bags down on the counter hastily as Bard pulled the blonde into a warm embrace. Bard held Thranduil’s face gently and leaned in for a chaste kiss.

“It’s good to see you.” The brunette said softly, whispering into Thranduil’s lips.

“Mmm, yes, I’m glad to see you too. Today was awful.” Thranduil couldn’t help but let the truth out. The day was pretty awful and he needed to be able to voice it, say it outloud instead of keeping it inside. He needed someone he could tell everything to. He needed to be able to vent when things got to him. He was hoping eventually Bard could be that person that he felt comfortable enough with to just let it all out.

“Why was it awful?” Bard questioned, gazing into Thranduil’s eyes.

“Tauriel’s place is just horribly triggering and I feel so uncomfortable there, and I was too lazy to even bother contacting Galion, so I pretty much just slept the day away.” Thranduil sighed, leaning his head onto Bard’s shoulder.

“Aw, it’s alright, baby. I’m here now and we will have a good night. Okay?” Bard said soothingly, rubbing Thranduil’s back while twisting his fingers into his long hair.

“Baby?” Thranduil beamed, looking up at Bard with a keen expression. He liked the way it sounded when Bard called him baby. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

“What? Should I not call you that?” Bard said, looking like he was ready to take back his words incase he caused any offence.

“No, silly. I like it.”

“Okay good. I thought I freaked you out.”

“You’d have to do a lot more than that to freak me out. Now let’s put these groceries away before they go bad.”

They sorted through the groceries that Bard had purchased, Thranduil making little sounds of delight when he discovered chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and tons of various candies.

They had eventually put everything away, keeping out only what Bard needed for dinner.

“So what are we making?” Thranduil asked curiously.

“Lasagna rolls, with ricotta and zucchini.”

“Oh yum! With extra cheese, right?”

“Yes, of course. Just for you.”

“Good.”

“And you’re going to help me. This is a team effort.”

“Alright, I can help. Just tell me what to do.”

The two of them went to work, boiling noodles, grating zucchini and making a tomato sauce. They combined the grated zucchini, ricotta, mozzarella, an egg and some spices to make the filling for the rolls. After the noodles were fully cooked and cooled off, Bard got Thranduil to spread out the filling on each long noodle. Thranduil, of course, made one with way too much filling and deemed it his.

Bard rolled the noodles up and placed them into a casserole dish that already contained a portion of the tomato sauce. When all the rolls were in the dish, Bard poured the rest of the sauce on top and Thranduil finished it off with the cheese, adding way more than necessary.

Bard put the dish in the oven while Thranduil ate some extra cheese from a bag.

“Mmm, I can’t wait to eat.” Thranduil said, shoveling more cheese into his mouth.

Bard was dipping his finger into the pot that they had used to make the tomato sauce. The brunette licked his fingers very seductively, to which Thranduil laughed, still nibbling on some cheese.

It wasn’t long before Bard got bold and smeared tomato sauce on Thranduil’s cheek, grinning at the mess he had left behind. Thranduil let out an over-dramatic gasp, opening his mouth wide as he narrowed his eyes like he was in attack mode. He quickly swiped up some of the sauce and booped it on Bard’s nose, giving the brunette a devilish smirk.

“How dare you!” Bard yelped, flicking more sauce at Thranduil, as the blonde grabbed the dirtied spoon and rubbed it onto Bard’s face.

“Me?! You started this; you will forgive me if I finish it!”

“Oh, and just how are you going to finish it?” Bard quipped, attempting to smear even more tomato sauce on the blonde’s face, but being swatted away quickly.

“I’ll pin you down and cover you with that damn sauce!”

“Just try it!” Bard laughed, grabbing Thranduil by the waist and licking the sauce off his cheek.

Thranduil giggled, trying his best to squirm away but Bard held him tight. The blonde let out a smug laugh as he took in the sight of Bard with tomato sauce all over his cheek and nose.

“You look ridiculous.”

“So do you. I got some in your hair.” Bard chuckled, holding up an unclean strand of Thranduil’s hair.

“What did you do?! My perfect hair!” Thranduil shouted sarcastically, earning an eye roll from Bard.

The brunette then shoved his face into Thranduil’s neck, making an even bigger mess and causing the blonde to squeal in response. Bard kept nipping playfully at Thranduil’s neck and it was just all too much. Thranduil began laughing uncontrollably, twisting around under Bard’s assault.

“Bard...I...can’t...breathe!” The blonde managed to choke out between laughs. He was laughing so hard that it had actually stopped making sound. He was far too ticklish for this.

He could feel Bard smiling into his neck, slowly abandoning his bites as he wrapped both hands into Thranduil’s hair and kissed the blonde passionately.

“Wow. You’re kinda perfect.” Thranduil said breathlessly.

Bard backed Thranduil up into the counter, grabbing at his thighs to help lift him up onto the surface.

“No, you’re perfect. And so fucking beautiful.” Bard purred into his hair as he grabbed a towel and wiped most of the leftover sauce off both their faces.

“You really know how to flatter me, don’t you?” Thranduil said, pressing his lips to Bard’s neck and sucking little marks into his skin.

“Well, it’s only the truth, baby.”

Hearing that word made Thranduil growl into the brunette’s neck as he continued sucking and biting at Bard’s skin.

“This tomato sauce is getting sticky and gross.” Thranduil moaned suddenly, pulling his face up and looking Bard in the eyes. “How about we go wash it off?”

“Okay.” Bard responded absently, as if he was lost in Thranduil’s blue eyes.

Thranduil jumped down off the counter, grabbing Bard’s hand, leading him upstairs and into the washroom. He pushed Bard up against the wall and began unzipping the brunette’s jeans while latching onto his neck yet again. Once Thranduil had Bard’s pants undone, he proceeded to take off his own. Hurriedly, they both kicked off their pants, giving each other a desperate look before discarding their shirts as well.

Eventually, they stood there in front of each other in nothing but their underwear, breathing heavily before Bard wrapped his strong arms around Thranduil’s body and pulled him in for another kiss. The kiss was messy, all tongue and teeth, making them both moan wantonly for more. Bard sucked on the blonde’s lower lip before plunging his tongue into his mouth, catching Thranduil by surprise.

The brunette’s hands were buried in tousled blonde hair, tugging at it as he deepened their kisses, Thranduil biting Bard’s plump bottom lip in response to the intoxicating sensation of having his hair pulled.

Thranduil started grinding himself slowly into Bard, pulling low deep groans from the brunette’s mouth with each movement. The feeling of Bard’s erection against his own made Thranduil gasp in pleasure, his fingers teasing along the edge of the waistband of Bard’s underwear playfully before he slipped his hand inside and grasped the brunette’s cock in his hand. He stroked Bard’s length in a maddeningly slow pace, loosening his grip to taunt the brunette a little more.

Bard’s lips were trailing wet kisses all over his neck and collarbone, twirling his tongue around and moaning when Thranduil rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock. The blonde pumped Bard’s erection faster and faster, before crouching down and licking a stripe on the underside of the brunette’s length. Bard let out a raspy groan as Thranduil flicked his tongue along the slit of his cock, lapping up the slick precum that had already formed there. Thranduil hummed lightly as he skilfully took the tip of Bard’s length in his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks as he began to suck.

With one hand around the base of Bard’s length, Thranduil lowered his head, taking in all of the brunette’s throbbing erection in his wet mouth. He set a slow pace at first, his tongue pressed flat along the bottom of Bard’s cock, as the brunette’s hands started pushing carefully on the back of his head, begging for more. Thranduil could feel Bard’s hands coaxing him along so he moved his mouth quicker, drawing out the pleasure for both of them. He pumped his hand along in synchronization with the tempo he had set with his mouth, bobbing his head faster as Bard’s grip on his hair became rougher and more forceful.

Thranduil removed his hand, sinking his head down even further, trying to suppress his gag reflex as he felt Bard’s cock graze the back of his throat. He held onto the brunette’s hips for support, as he expertly deep throated Bard’s length, muffled gagging sounds escaping his mouth as saliva began dripping down his chin. He continued this rhythm, drawing moan after moan out of the brunette’s mouth. Suddenly, Bard let out a particularly loud shudder as the blonde gagged once more. Despite feeling as though he may choke at any minute, Thranduil was extremely aroused, desire clouding his mind. Thranduil looked up at Bard through his dark lashes, pulling his mouth off the brunette’s cock with a sloppy popping sound.

“Fuck.” Bard cried, twisting his fingers into Thranduil’s hair possessively. Bard gripped both hands on either side of Thranduil’s face and pulled him back up. The blonde wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand before pressing a kiss to Bard’s lips as the brunette yanked his underwear down. Bard’s pupils were blown wide as pulled back and stared into Thranduil’s eyes, hands rubbing up and down his waist tenderly.

Finally, they both kicked off their underwear, now completely naked, staring at each other in amazement. Thranduil didn’t know how he got so lucky as to get to be with someone as gorgeous as Bard. This didn’t feel like every other sexual encounter he had; this was different. The feeling sent chills throughout his entire body, igniting like a moth to a flame.

Bard quickly turned on the water in the shower and grabbed Thranduil’s hand, dragging the blonde into the tub with him where the warm water poured down over them, washing away any remains of the tomato sauce from earlier.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re all wet.” Bard said, rubbing his thumb over Thranduil’s cheek before he went back to feast on the blonde’s neck. Thranduil grasped his hand around both of their lengths, pumping them together, causing Bard to bite him rather hard.

“Mmm, I want you.” Thranduil moaned.

The raw, carnal pleasure of Bard’s teeth in his skin made Thranduil whimper and cry out in euphoria. How did Bard seem to know exactly what turned him on? No one had ever caused Thranduil to be this aroused, _ever_.

The blonde kept stroking their cocks together building the pressure as began to thrust his hips along with the rhythm of his strokes. Bard’s hands moved slowly down Thranduil’s body, stopping once they reached his ass.

Suddenly, without warning, a shrill sound caused them both to stumble away from each other, pulling them out of their lust filled haze. Bard froze on the spot, eyes growing wider, as Thranduil gasped.

“OH SHIT!” Bard cried out at the sound of the blaring fire alarm.

“The food!” Thranduil yelled, realization setting in.

“We are officially the stupidest people in the world!” Bard said, looking around, seeming as though he was unsure of what to do.

“Fuck. I don’t want to stop.” Thranduil whined, truly annoyed by the fact that they always managed to be interrupted, whether it was by Smaug, the pizza delivery guy or the burning lasagna. They really didn’t have very good timing.

“Just hold on.” Bard said, irritation written all over his face. He stepped out of the shower, making his way out of the bathroom, while Thranduil just stood there, water still beating down on him.

The blonde wasn’t sure if he should follow Bard and help him or if he should just wait in the shower. What were they going to do about dinner now? Honestly, Thranduil didn’t care all that much. He would rather have Bard for dinner.

When the sound of the fire alarm didn’t stop after a few minutes, Thranduil turned off the water and stepped out of the tub gingerly, making sure not to fall on the wet floor. He wrapped a towel around his waist, despite the fact that Bard went down stairs completely naked.

He could hear Bard swearing as he made his way to the kitchen. The smell was awful and Thranduil noticed that Bard had already opened a few windows to air the place out. The lasagna was out of the oven and it was a sorry sight. Their poor dinner. What a shame.

“This fucking thing won’t shut up!” Bard yelled, waving a dish towel around frantically in front of the fire alarm. Much to Thranduil’s disappointment, Bard was no longer in the buff; he was now wearing a pair of loose shorts.

“Just take the batteries out!” Thranduil shouted, hoping Bard could hear him over the loud wailing sound.

“Fuck, why didn’t I think of that.” Bard said, proceeding to pull the alarm apart and pop both batteries out, finally getting the thing to stop its incessant racket.

“There you go. Finally!” Thranduil said, making his way over to where Bard stood. The poor brunette looked dishevelled and annoyed as he flipped around his wet hair.

Both of them had trailed a lot of water all around the house and Thranduil couldn’t help but chuckle at the ridiculous situation they had gotten themselves into.

“I can’t believe we forgot about the food.” Bard huffed in frustration.

“We’re very good at distracting each other at the worst possible times.”

“Yes, I’ll say! Well, so much for dinner.”

“That’s okay. I really just want you anyway.” Thranduil said, devouring Bard with his eyes.

Bard smirked, and clasped both of Thranduil’s hands, squeezing tightly.

“So... where were we then?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are everything; they motivate me to write faster and make my heart melt :) <3


	11. Thrandoodle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, hanging out with Leggie, and a party invite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CROW.  
> This has taken far too long. I've been a little behind in life and I was really struggling with the first part of this chapter.  
> There is SMUT.  
> I hope you enjoy :)

 

~~~~

“Hmm, I think you were about to fuck me.” Thranduil purred in Bard’s ear as the brunette led them back upstairs, this time bypassing the bathroom and going straight to his bedroom.

Bard could barely formulate any coherent thoughts as all he was able to hear was the thrumming sound of his own heart in his ears. He still couldn’t believe that this was actually going to happen. He had been fantasizing for days about how it would feel to finally be able to pound into that tight lithe body, give Thranduil everything he has, unleash all his desires as the blonde beauty writhes beneath him.

The thought alone caused his body to shudder in anticipation, his painfully hard cock twitching in his loose shorts. Thranduil must have noticed this because the blonde grabbed Bard’s shoulders and pushed him backwards into the wall, clearly not wanting to waste anymore time.

Enough foreplay had already occurred. Bard didn’t want to wait any longer, and he could tell that Thranduil felt the same.

Bard’s breath caught in his throat as Thranduil’s hand grabbed his hard arousal and pushed him backwards, away from the wall, until the backs of his knees hit the mattress forcefully.

Thranduil was on top of him immediately, palming at Bard’s cock through the thin material of his shorts, toying with his length in the most maddening way possible. Bard latched onto Thranduil’s hips in response to the blonde’s teasing and rid him of the towel he still had around his waist.

A small whimper escaped Bard’s lips as he took in the sight of Thranduil’s gorgeous, perfectly shaped cock. He wanted to taste it and pull on that thick metal ring protruding from the pretty pink tip.

Bard hadn’t had sex in over a year. He felt as though the thought alone could make him come. It had been so long since he felt his cock being engulfed by the tight heat of another person’s body and he couldn’t help but feel smug that the person who he would inevitably break his celibacy with would be the sinfully beautiful Thranduil.

“Please, I want you so bad.” Thranduil cooed, leaning his head down so he could lick a stripe up Bard’s neck before sucking hard at the skin, no doubt leaving what would become a rather prominent love bite. Bard hummed breathily in response to Thranduil’s words, both hands finding purchase in that long blonde hair.

Thranduil was kneeling with his legs on either side of Bard’s body, ass up in the air as he started grinding their cocks together drawing deep moans from Bard’s lips as the blonde continued biting and sucking at his neck.

“Please fuck me.” The blonde whined, biting his bottom lip as he broke contact with Bard’s neck, their eyes meeting for a split second before Bard flipped Thranduil over so he was now on top.

“Mmm yes, beautiful.” Bard replied after nuzzling himself between both of Thranduil’s legs which quickly wrapped around his hips, bringing their naked bodies flush together.

“I need you inside me.” Thranduil all but begged, licking his lips as he looked up at the brunette through lidded eyes. Bard could see how dilated his pupils were; the blue almost consumed entirely by black.

“Yes.” Was all Bard could say as he found himself almost completely taken over by his desire, unable to form clear thoughts, his body just telling him to take and devour the beauty beneath him.

Thranduil’s fingers dug into Bard’s back as the blonde pulled his body closer before trailing one elegant hand between them as he wrapped his fingers around Bard’s cock and started frantically pumping him in hurried motions. “Now.”

Even though Bard’s mind was clouded with lust and want, he was still rather unsure of how to proceed with this. He wanted Thranduil to enjoy himself and he didn’t want to disappoint.

A moment passed of Bard getting caught up in his own thoughts before Thranduil broke the silence.

“Are you okay?” The blonde asked gently, leaning up to press a soft kiss on Bard’s slack mouth.

“Yes, sorry.” Bard hesitated, “I just want this to be good for you.”

“It already is.” Thranduil whispered between chaste kisses. “Please.”

“How do you want it?” Bard asked, sliding his arm under Thranduil’s back as he littered kisses along his neck.

“Just fuck me, Bard.” Thranduil purred, “You know how.”

“I-I don’t have lube-” Bard said shakily, coming to realize that maybe he should have been more prepared for this than he was. His stomach twisted in knots at the prospect of Thranduil not wanting to continue.

Thranduil grinned, lifting himself a bit, coming to rest on one elbow as he put two of his fingers in his own mouth. He swirled his tongue around his fingers before closing his lips around them and started sucking, closing his eyes as he did so.

The sight of Thranduil sucking on his fingers caused Bard’s cock to twitch eagerly so he reached a hand between them and started stroking himself as he watched Thranduil with wide eyes.

“I don’t need lube.” Thranduil smirked, pulling his hand out of his mouth as his eyes fluttered open delicately. He pushed Bard backwards a bit so he could lift his ass from the bed as his hand trailed downward. Bard watched this keenly, knowing exactly what Thranduil was going to do, but still shocked to see it all play out before him anyway.

Bard was now kneeling back further away from Thranduil as the blonde slipped his wet fingers easily into his entrance while letting out a tiny mewling sound. Thranduil’s eyes locked with Bard’s as he began sliding his fingers slowly in and out of himself, blinking heavily as Bard moaned and began pumping his cock faster.

The way Thranduil was moving his fingers inside himself so teasingly was such an exquisite sight that Bard could not tear his eyes away for a second. Bard gasped audibly as Thranduil inserted a third finger as he bit his bottom lip, watching Bard’s facial expression and humming along with amusement.

“You like watching me?” Thranduil growled; it was a soft sound, filled with want and carnal desire and Bard could no longer hold back his moans as he continued to vigorously stroke his own cock, timing the motions with the movement of Thranduil’s fingers, knowing that soon it would be him filling that beautiful blonde.

“I could watch you fingering yourself all night.” Bard purred, voice coming out raspy and low. “But that can wait.”

“Mmm, I agree.” Thranduil said, pulling his fingers out of his entrance as he pushed himself up on his knees so he came face to face with Bard.

Thranduil put his hand over Bard’s to stop his frantic stroking before he pushed Bard backwards, the brunette coming to rest upon his elbows, eyes darkened with lust as he watched every move Thranduil made over top of him.

With both legs on either side of Bard’s body, Thranduil leaned his head forward, hair grazing the brunette’s stomach as he made a deep guttural sound. Bard badly wanted to lace his fingers into that soft wispy hair and pull his face forward as he thrust his cock into that hot wet mouth.

Without warning, Bard heard Thranduil spit and felt the wetness of his saliva dripping down the length of his cock. He choked out a shaky breath when Thranduil wrapped his hand around Bard’s erection and began pumping him, slicking his cock up with his own saliva.

Bard was so enthralled by everything Thranduil was doing he didn’t even notice that he forgot to breathe before he let out a sigh, taking in a mouthful of air.

“Relax, darling.” Thranduil cooed, looking up at him, his blue eyes meeting Bard’s gaze as he shifted himself forward, arm behind his back, still grasping Bard’s aching cock as he rested his other hand on Bard’s chest. “I’m going to ride you.”

“ _Fuck_ , yes. I need you _now_." Bard growled, one arm reaching up to wrap around the back of Thranduil’s head, pulling him forward as he pressed a soft kiss to the blonde’s plump lips.

Still holding onto Bard’s cock, Thranduil shimmied his ass backwards, shifting his body downward as Bard felt the press of his puckered entrance on the head of his eager cock. All he wanted was to buck his hips upward, but he waited for Thranduil to make the move.

Bard’s heart was pounding in his chest like a rabid animal trying to break free from a cage. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as Thranduil sank deeper, Bard’s cock finally breaching him. Thranduil smirked at Bard before letting his eyes close as he rolled his hips down and took in all of Bard’s length in one fluid motion.

_Holy fuck_.

Bard felt lightning spreading throughout his body, his entire being tingling as he felt that tight heat enveloping his cock. The shockwaves that attacked his senses only grew as the blonde pulled himself almost fully off Bard’s cock before slamming his hips back down.

Bard definitely didn’t expect that. But then again, he knew it wasn’t going to be soft and sweet.

“ _Fuck_. So big. You fill me up _so_ good.” Thranduil gasped, eyes rolling back in his head as he kept fucking himself faster on Bard’s cock, riding Bard with everything he had. Bard was now thrusting his hips upward, coming flush with Thranduil’s ass with each movement.

The blonde was mumbling and gasping for breath, his motions becoming more quick and frantic, searching desperately for his own release. Bard couldn’t take his eyes off Thranduil’s face, which was contorted in the most seductive way; eyes shut tight, teeth biting onto his bottom lip as a few strands of hair stuck to his face.

Bard was lying on his back, Thranduil’s body coming flush with his own as Bard clutched onto Thranduil’s hips moving him in time with his powerful thrusts.

“You feel so good, baby.” Bard managed to say, though it barely came out as a whisper in the blonde’s ear.

Thranduil’s cock was trapped between them and the feeling of his precome leaking onto Bard’s stomach made the brunette moan deeply and thrust faster. Bard needed more, he needed to be deeper.

Thranduil yelped when Bard flipped them, pushing Thranduil hard in to the mattress, never breaking their connection. The blonde’s legs automatically wrapped around Bard’s waist, his feet hooking together forcing Bard’s body closer, until Bard’s entire length was buried deep inside that perfect ass.

Bard’s breath caught in his throat as he continually pounded Thranduil harder and deeper eliciting a sequence of whimpers from the blonde’s mouth. The sound of skin slapping against skin made Bard’s body shudder. He held himself up with both hands planted on either side of Thranduil’s head, fingers getting tangled in all that blonde hair.

He didn’t know how much longer he would last at this rate. The sight of Thranduil’s lusty expression was putting him in a trance as he thrust deeper into the blonde’s entrance, Thranduil’s legs tightening around him, encouraging him to go faster and faster.

Thranduil’s lower half was now suspended from the bed, angled in a way that gave Bard perfect access to his sweet spot. Bard knew it immediately when Thranduil made a high pitched whimper, the sound dragging on for a few seconds as Bard smirked down at the beautiful blonde beneath him.

Bard kept pounding into Thranduil, hitting his prostate every time as the blonde uttered a string of incoherent words and moans.

“Oh _yessss_ , fuck me _harder_.” Thranduil growled, bucking his hips into Bard’s, synchronizing their thrusts perfectly.

Bard didn’t respond, he literally could not form any words, so he just continued pumping his aching cock into Thranduil’s passage, watching the blonde writhe uncontrollably underneath him. Thranduil was gasping and whining, biting at his bottom lip every now and then, his hands rubbing all over Bard’s sweaty body, never stopping in one place for too long.

The muscles in Bard’s arms began trembling as he struggled to hold himself up. He dropped down to his elbows, chest coming into contact with Thranduil’s and he could feel the blonde’s pretty cock rubbing between their bodies. The noises Thranduil was making were utterly sinful and were quickly pushing Bard towards his finish.

“I-I’m- ” Bard struggled to find the words before Thranduil cut him off.

“I know, me too.” The blonde groaned. “Fill me up, baby. Come inside me.”

The blonde’s body shuddered beneath him, his come splattering between them in thick stripes, slicking up Bard’s chest as he kept pounding into Thranduil’s entrance. It was the feeling of Thranduil’s muscles contracting around his cock that caused Bard to let out a long grunt as he thrust a final time, spilling his come deep inside that gorgeous blonde, who was now lying below him limp and sensitive.

Bard’s arms gave out and he lay flat on top of Thranduil’s body, his cock still buried inside that wet tightness. He rested his forehead on Thranduil’s sticky chest, exhaling heavily along with the blonde. The only noise that filled the room was their heightened breath – panting and gasping sounds lingering all around them, as they came down from their high.

Thranduil’s arms were around Bard’s body, holding him tight as their breathing eventually slowed and went back to normal. Bard pressed light chaste kisses from Thranduil’s chest up to his neck, causing the blonde to make a small whimpering sound.

“Wow, you’re amazing.” Thranduil said, voice low and raspy as he shifted slightly beneath Bard’s weight.

“Mmm, you’re amazing too.” The brunette sighed, forehead still resting on Thranduil’s chest. He shifted his weight, pulling his cock slowly out of Thranduil’s hole as the blonde moaned softly at the sensation.

Thranduil pressed another lazy kiss on the top of Bard’s head where his hair had become damp with sweat before Bard looked up into the blonde’s eyes and smiled sweetly at him. Bard grabbed a discarded article of clothing, making sure it was his and not Thranduil’s, before he wiped them both down.

He still couldn’t believe this was reality; he hadn’t been this happy in a very long time.

~~~~

After they had finished showering and changing into their pajamas, Bard reluctantly went down stairs, cringing as the smell of burnt lasagna filled his nostrils. He decided to make them both a grilled cheese sandwich because he was hungry and he didn’t want Thranduil to go to bed with an empty stomach.

Once they had both eaten and were satisfied, they got back into Bard’s bed and resumed their cuddling. Bard rolled around until he was on top of Thranduil, the blonde’s legs wrapped around his hips as he pressed little kisses all over Thranduil’s neck.

This whole scenario was absolute perfection in Bard’s eyes. He couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to get to have Thranduil in his bed, in his arms. It was everything he had ever wanted and nothing he had experienced in the past could compare.

“So, tomorrow is the weekend, what would you like to do?” Bard inquired as he entwined his fingers with Thranduil’s. He was easily becoming far too comfortable with the beautiful blonde. “Or do you have plans? You don’t have to hang out with me if you don’t want to of course...” He babbled on, not wanting to force Thranduil to spend time with him if he had other things he would rather do instead.

_Don’t get so clingy_ , Bard told himself. He didn’t want to let himself fall in love yet, even though that’s the direction his feelings were headed.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you yet, did I?” Thranduil said, rubbing a hand up and down on Bard’s back.

“Tell me what?” Bard questioned.

“I’m getting Legolas tomorrow.” The blonde stated, his voice sounding excited yet nervous at the same time.

“That’s awesome. What are you gonna do together?” Bard asked, although he was still unsure of whether or not Thranduil wanted him to be around while he was spending time with his son and he didn’t want to get in the way of their one on one time.

“I have no idea!” Thranduil huffed, “I hardly ever get him to myself, so I don’t even know how to act properly around him.”

“Aw, I’m sure it will come naturally once he’s with you.” Bard assured, not wanting Thranduil to feel uncomfortable with his own son.

“I may need your help if you aren’t doing anything...”

“Yeah?”

“Well, if you don’t mind spending time with a hyper four year old, that is.”

“I’d actually love to. I’m not too bad with kids. I actually used to supervise at a daycare back when I was in high school.”

“Oh good! At least one of us will know what to do.” Thranduil said. “I’m glad you don’t mind, most people would just run in the opposite direction.”

“Not me. But then again, maybe I’m just being selfish because I want to spend time with you too.”

“Aw, well thank you. It means a lot.” Thranduil said, shifting out from underneath Bard so he could rest his head on the brunette’s chest. He nuzzled his head into the crook of Bard’s neck, causing the brunette to laugh out loud from the sensation. Bard couldn’t help himself, he was extremely ticklish and Thranduil’s hair was practically attacking his neck.

“Oh, someone’s ticklish!” Thranduil giggled, trying to bury his head deeper in Bard’s neck, as the brunette struggled to push him away.

“Only sometimes.” Bard laughed, holding Thranduil at arm’s length away, clasping both of his slender wrists together in fear that he may be assaulted with tickles.

“Don’t worry, I’m much too tired to attack you now, but you better watch your back in the future!” Thranduil said with a smug grin. He had discovered Bard’s weakness. Oh no.

“You’re awful” Bard said jokingly.

“I know.”

“So...” Bard began, finally letting Thranduil’s arm go free, “since you have a kid, does that mean you’re bi?”

“No,” Thranduil chuckled, “You want to know the story behind me and Leanna?”

“I’m sort of curious.” Bard admitted sheepishly.

“Of course you are.” Thranduil smirked, propping his head up with one arm so he could look Bard in the eyes. The brunette could not get over how unbelievably beautiful Thranduil’s eyes were. He had never seen anyone with eyes that colour ever in his life. He could definitely get lost in that sparkling blue for hours, maybe even days.

Bard gently brushed his thumb over Thranduil’s plump lower lip, unable to stop himself from touching such beauty, before replacing his thumb with his own lips, giving the blonde a chaste kiss.

“Yes,” Bard finally said, “I’d like to know, if you’re willing to share it with me.”

“Of course I’ll tell you. It’s a ridiculously stupid story and not really that interesting but I’ll tell you anyway.”

“That’s alright. Let’s hear it.” Bard said, angling his body so he was facing Thranduil.

“Alright, well, I met Leanna when I was like thirteen years old and we were instantly best friends. We got along really well and had a lot in common. Then in high school I could tell she developed this crush on me-”

“Who wouldn’t?” Bard added in, before letting Thranduil continue.

“Ha ha, very funny. But she almost became...obsessed with me. She had to be around me all the time and almost acted like we were dating even though she knew I wasn’t into girls. I had boyfriends and stuff throughout high school, nothing serious, but she was always extremely jealous and got so pissed when I spent time with them instead of her. So eventually when we were like sixteen, I confronted her and she finally admitted she was in love with me. I felt bad for not feeling the same way, but what could I do, force myself to love her? I told her that we were just friends and that a relationship would never happen. I didn’t want to lose her as my best friend but after that she got super weird around me. She would date guys and always bring them around me to almost rub it in my face. Trying to prove to me that she didn’t care about me in that way anymore. It was all so fake though. We didn’t talk or hang out for most of senior year but I always felt really horrible because she was my best friend and I knew it was my fault that I lost her friendship. So...” Thranduil’s words slowly trailed off as if he was lost in his own memory.

“So?” Bard chimed in, pulling the blonde back to reality.

“Sorry. It’s just so stupid. We were both at the same party and we got drunk and I slept with her, out of guilt. That one time was all it took and when Legolas was born she tried to force me to be with her for his sake and made me feel like shit when I refused. Then she completely lost it and started denying that he was even mine and didn’t want me to see him at all, as some sort of twisted punishment. Always back and forth between two extremes. She turned into a horrible person and has pretty much hated me ever since, all because I wouldn’t, and couldn’t love her.”

“Wow. I don’t even know what to say. That’s kind of sad.” Bard said softly, unsure how to respond to Thranduil’s story.

“It is sad. Sometimes I wish we could just be friends again, but she changed, and not for the better.”

“Do you regret it?”

“What? Having sex with her?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, yes, sort of. But that is such a typical asshole thing to say. I don’t regret Legolas being born obviously, just all the crap that went with it. That still sounds bad!” Thranduil groaned, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow as he pulled his long hair over his face. “Am I a horrible person?” he asked Bard quietly through the curtain of his hair.

“No, you’re not a horrible person.” Bard assured him as he brushed Thranduil’s hair out of his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re not horrible at all.”

“Thanks, but I still feel like shit because I don’t do more for him.”

“But that’s not your fault, you have every intention to do things for him, it seems like the problem is her not letting you do anything.”

“But it’s my fault she hates me.”

“It’s not your fault at all. You can’t choose who you love.”

“I guess, but that doesn’t take away the guilt.”

“Aw, come here.” Bard said, pulling Thranduil into an embrace. “You shouldn’t feel guilty. You are wonderful and if she chooses to hate you for not loving her than that’s her issue, not yours.”

“Thanks, babe.” Thranduil whispered gently, holding onto Bard tighter.

“Of course.”

It was getting pretty late, apparently not by Thranduil’s standards, but for Bard it was late. He was used to going to bed around eleven o’clock and it was getting close to that time now. Thranduil was still lying in his arms humming lightly as he drew patterns up and down Bard’s arm, making the brunette flinch from the soft tickling sensation on his skin.

“You tired yet?”

“Getting there. Your presence calms me.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“A very good thing. I’m normally an anxious mess.”

“Well, you don’t seem like it.”

“I guess looks can be deceiving. Or maybe it’s just because I’m around you so I’m calm.”

Thranduil relaxed into Bard’s arms as the brunette wrapped him up tight before turning off the light on the bedside table. That night they fell asleep in each other’s embrace and Bard finally felt content.

~~~~

When Bard woke up in the morning he had zero blanket, there was a long leg draped over his thigh and blonde hair was splayed in his face. Did he even have hair in his mouth? It certainly felt like it. Despite waking up a little dishevelled, Bard could have sworn it was the best sleep he had in a long time.

It was already ten o’clock when Bard finally decided to get out of bed, he never usually slept in this long, but he was just so comfortable and didn’t have the heart to move Thranduil from his position. The brunette went to wash up in the bathroom, leaving Thranduil to sleep a little longer in bed, he just couldn’t rouse him, he looked far too cozy wrapped up like a burrito in Bard’s blanket.

Bard made his way downstairs to put on a pot of coffee before going back up to his room to change into his clothes for the day. It was slightly cooler out today, thank god, so he was finally able to wear jeans. Bard laughed to himself at the fact that Thranduil was always in jeans, skin tight jeans to be exact, no matter the weather. As he was putting on his pants, he watched Thranduil intently, wanting to wake him up so they could get the day started. It all felt so right. Like they were meant to be together.

Bard couldn’t shake the idea from his head. They were meant to be together. They were meant to meet that day at the hospital. It was fate. Bard had never believed in that sort of stuff before, but now all of a sudden, he did. Why else would someone as wonderful as Thranduil have any interest in someone as plain as him? It had to be the grand design of the universe. He felt like he was falling fast and he had absolutely no way of stopping it. The more he stood there staring at Thranduil, at the little way he twitched his nose while he slept, he knew he was falling head over heels in love with the beautiful blonde. There was no denying it now.

Thranduil tossed around in the bed a little bit, pushing the blanket off himself to reveal his pale chest as he mumbled incoherent words. He was utterly adorable in the morning. And he was right, his hair was a disaster. The sight made Bard chuckle slightly.

“Hmm, are you laughing at me?” Thranduil grumbled, flipping himself over and pulling the covers over his head.

“No, I would never!” Bard laughed. “You’re just too cute.”

“What time is it?” the blonde asked from beneath the blanket.

“It’s almost ten-thirty. You should get up now.”

“Just a bit longer.”

“C’mon, you! Up you get!” Bard jumped on the bed and yanked the covers off of Thranduil, who still didn’t make any indication that he would move any time soon. He threw an arm over his face as Bard pulled up the blinds, letting in the bright light from the outside world.

“Noooo. Light. I’m going to burn up.” Thranduil said, shifting a little and propping himself up on his elbows as he made to open his eyes. His hair was everywhere. It was the definition of a mess.

“You’re not a vampire are you? Not with hair like that.” Bard joked, outstretching his arm towards Thranduil, pulling him up into a seated position.

“I told you. My hair is a nest.”

“I’m surprised birds haven’t flocked to your hair yet.”

“Hey! Rude.” Thranduil said, rolling his eyes sarcastically. “Okay, I’m getting up.”

“Good. I’ve got coffee downstairs; you want me to bring you a cup?”

“Yes, please. Milk and sugar! Thanks. I’m gonna straighten my hair and get dressed.”

Bard went back down to get the cup of coffee for Thranduil, leaving the blonde to his morning task of taming his wild hair. Bard wondered just how long that would take. Thranduil was at least dressed when the brunette arrived back in his bedroom with the coffee.

It took half an hour for Thranduil to get ready and they finally made their way to the kitchen for some toast. Thranduil was apparently texting Leanna about where to meet them in the park. Bard could tell the blonde was becoming a bit uneasy by the way he was fidgeting around in his chair.

“It’s gonna be fine.” Bard said, hoping his words would be enough to reassure Thranduil and help ease his mind.

“I know. I just try to avoid seeing her at all costs.” Thranduil said. “So do you want to walk there?”

“Up to you. We can take my car if you’d like?” Bard suggested, wondering if the walk would be too much for a four year old.

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that, my legs are sore.”

Bard giggled under his breath thinking of all the reasons Thranduil could be sore and knowing that he was definitely the cause of it. A smug smile formed on his lips as he looked at Thranduil knowingly.

“Yes, Bard, it’s all your fault.” Thranduil said playfully, getting up from the kitchen table to latch him arms around Bard’s waist, pulling the brunette in for a kiss. Bard could get used to this. He never wanted it to end. As happy as he felt right now, he was also scared because he knew how hard he was falling for Thranduil. He needed to know that Thranduil felt the same way about him; he needed to hear it out loud.

When they finally headed out the door, Bard could see that Thranduil was becoming increasingly wary of the whole situation. He was walking slower and taking deep breaths and could hardly focus on what Bard was saying. The brunette unlocked the car and they both got in, Thranduil still fidgeting relentlessly with his hair as Bard started the engine and immediately cranked the air conditioning. It was like a sauna in his car.

Thranduil played around with the radio, never stopping on one station for very long before switching to the next.

“So, maybe it would be best if you were...I don’t know, out of sight, while I have to see Leanna. She might get weird.” Thranduil said, tone apprehensive as though he did not want to offend Bard.

“That’s fine.” Bard said understandingly. He didn’t want to put any more unnecessary stress on Thranduil, especially since he already seemed so uncomfortable about the whole ordeal to begin with.

They pulled into a gravel parking lot with a little over ten minutes to spare. Thranduil was on his phone, most likely texting Leanna that he had arrived and finding out when she would be there. The blonde got out of the car without saying anything and Bard really didn’t know if he should get out to comfort Thranduil, or just stay put in the car.

As much as he wanted to get out, Bard stayed where he was, watching Thranduil pace around outside the car as he puffed on a cigarette. Just then Bard received a text message. It was from Bilbo.

**_Hey! I’m having a party tomorrow and I want you to come :)_ **

Bard was glad to hear from Bilbo, no matter what, the little man could always make him laugh, and the two of them always had a good time together. Of course Bard would go to his party.

_yeahhh! what time?_

**_Around 8ish! And don’t forget to bring your blonde lover ;)_ **

_sounds good, i’ll have to ask him if he wants to come, but it will most likely be a YES :)_

**_REALLY?! SO YOURE DATING?!_ **

_noooo. I don’t know what we are. But things are goooood :P i’ll text you later_

**_YOURE WITH HIM ARENT YOU?!_ **

_YES!_

As Bard looked up from his phone he saw a car pull up right beside him, stopping just in front of where Thranduil was standing. He could see the blonde’s shoulders tense as he tossed his cigarette butt in the opposite direction.

Bard saw Leanna get out of the driver’s seat and make her way around the car to most likely get Legolas out as well. Before too long a flash of blonde hair flew past, running into Thranduil arms.

Right about now, Bard was glad he had tinted windows because Leanna was staring directly at him. Hopefully the windows were doing their job. Even if they were, Bard let his gaze fall elsewhere, creating some form of privacy for them. It was too tempting though, he kept glancing back in their direction to see what was taking so long.

Leanna was clearly yelling at Thranduil, who just stood there indifferently, looking rather bored by whatever she was saying. She began flailing her arms around and pointed to Bard’s car. Thranduil nodded a few times and spoke, in what appeared to be a very calm manner, before Leanna stepped around him and got back in the car.

Thranduil still had Legolas in his arms, but he waited until Leanna had left before coming back to the car. He set Legolas down and motioned for Bard to come out. Legolas must have had a good sleep because he took off towards the grass, as if he had all the energy in the world to burn. Thranduil took off after him as Bard got out of the car.

“Thranduil!” the brunette called out, “You want your bag?”

“Nah, just leave it.” Thranduil replied, stopping the chase for Legolas since the little blonde boy began running back, clearly interested in Bard.

“Thrandoodle!” Legolas yelled towards the sky, skipping along with his arms waving alongside him. He ran right into Thranduil’s leg pulling on his shirt as his big eyes took in the sight of Bard. He slightly hid behind his father as Bard waved to him.

“Thrandoodle, oh my god. That’s adorable.” Bard said with a huge smile painted on his face.

“He can’t say my name, can you?” Thranduil said, turning to Legolas with wide eyes.

Legolas all but ignored him, eyes still glued to Bard.

“Who’s that?” the little boy asked inquisitively, pointing at Bard and trying to hide a giggle.

Bard had never seen such an adorable kid in all his life.

“This is Bard, come say hi.” Thranduil said, guiding Legolas closer to the brunette so he could introduce himself.

“Hi Legolas.” Bard said in a gentle voice, reaching his hand out to shake the little boys.

“Hi Bard!” Legolas chimed, reaching out and grabbing onto Bard’s hand, shaking it in a very animated way.

“It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too Mister Bard!” Legolas squealed before flipping his hair and running towards the jungle gym. “Let’s go play!” He hollered back to Bard and Thranduil.

“Let’s go then.” Bard smiled at Thranduil, taking his hand as they made their way over to a bench so they could keep an eye on Legolas.

“Be careful!” Thranduil called out, to which Legolas just nodded and continued on with his adventure.

“He’s such a sweetheart, Thran. He looks exactly like you.” Bard said, sliding his arm around the blonde’s shoulder and pulling him in a little closer.

“Hopefully he doesn’t turn out like me though.” Thranduil joked, but Bard could tell deep down he was being serious.

“And what would be so wrong with that?” Bard challenged.

“I want better for him, that’s all.” Thranduil replied a bit dismissively. Bard didn’t push anymore, he didn’t want to get Thranduil upset, but it still bothered the brunette that Thranduil could not see his own worth.

“And I’m sure you’ll give him everything he could possibly need.”

“Well, I can’t give him much now, but once Galion sees that I’m doing better I might be able to become financially stable enough to care for Legolas properly.”

“You could always get a job for the time being?” Bard said, a bit cautiously, hoping not to offend Thranduil; it was a mere suggestion after all.

“I can’t, and I don’t want to talk about this.” Thranduil said coldly, turning his head away from Bard and scooting over slightly on the bench.

“Sorry, Thran.” Bard said, getting up from the bench only to stop directly in front of Thranduil.

“It’s okay.” Thranduil sighed, standing up as well, walking over to where Legolas was playing on the tunnel slide.

“I’m hungry, Ada!” the little boy said, slouching his shoulders as his mouth turned into a big pout.

The three of them spent a little while longer at the park before stopping off at McDonalds, because Legolas had been begging for a Happy Meal, and Thranduil just could not refuse despite not actually wanting to feed his son “that crap”. Since Bard was feeling rather peckish, he ended up getting a meal as well, and once they had their food they took a seat inside the restaurant. Thranduil didn’t get anything to eat and turned down Bard’s fry offer because apparently even the fries contained some form of animal product.

After they left McDonalds, they went for a walk by the lake, Legolas still running around pulling at Thranduil’s hand to go faster. This kid had an absurd amount of energy, but Thranduil assured Bard that he would conk out in a few hours if he kept up at the rate he was going now.

On the walk back to Bard’s house, the brunette remembered Bilbo’s party invite so per Bilbo’s request, he asked Thranduil if he wanted to go as well.

“So my friend, Bilbo, invited us to a party tomorrow, if you want to go...” Bard said, as they walked slowly. Legolas was now on Thranduil’s back, having clearly become tired all of a sudden.

“Yeah, sure. I won’t know anyone though.”

“You’ll know me, and you’ve met Bilbo before. There won’t be a lot of people anyway; it’s more of a get together than a big party.”

“Yeah, let’s do it. It’s not like I have anything else to do.” Thranduil snickered, flashing a crooked smile at Bard.

Bard eventually took over carrying Legolas because he could tell Thranduil was getting tired of having the little boy on his back.

As soon as they arrived back at the house, Legolas fell asleep on the couch just as Thranduil had predicted. Bard grabbed a blanket from upstairs and covered the little boy up so he would be more comfortable.

When Thranduil pressed a kiss to the top of his son’s head, Bard thought his heart might just melt from an overload of cuteness.

Bard had never planned on falling in love, it wasn’t like he was actively searching for it, but somehow it seemed to creep up on him. He could not deny his feelings for Thranduil at this point. He was in love. Only he didn’t know if Thranduil felt the same way, and that scared him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended this abruptly and in a very strange place but I didnt want it to get out of control like the length of the previous chapter. :P


	12. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unhappiness, Subway, Wine and Bilbo Baggins' Party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH HEY!  
> After two long months, here it is!  
> The beginning is really depressing, sorry about that, I was in a horrible mood when I started writing this. It doesnt end on such a sad note though, so yay :)  
> I added in some ridiculous personal experiences just for laughs, because why not?!
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :D

Thranduil had fallen asleep on Bard’s couch that night with his son in his arms. Bard didn’t bother to ask if he wanted to sleep in his bed with him, and to be honest, Thranduil was thankful about it. He didn’t mind, he didn’t take it personally. He was feeling apprehensive about all that had taken place between himself and Bard the previous night anyway. It scared him more than he let on.

On Sunday morning he walked back to the park with Legolas in tow and reluctantly gave him back to Leanna, who was of course late and looking rather hungover. Thranduil didn’t want to deal with any of it, he just wanted to be able to have a normal friendly relationship with her, but unfortunately that would never happen.

It felt like a giant leech was burrowing around in his chest, sucking away all his happiness. He wanted Legolas to be with him all the time, not only when it was convenient for Leanna. His son was the one light in his life, the one thing he could look forward to. When he was with Legolas it seemed he worried less and enjoyed more. If only he could feel that way all the time.

He sighed deeply on the walk back to Bard’s. It had started to rain and he felt like the raindrops were mocking him, laughing harshly in his face. Like the rain was a representation of his emotional turmoil, like the angels were crying at his stupidity.

He had his bag on his back, not trusting Bard enough to not go through it. He didn’t want to leave his whole life behind and in the hands of someone who could hurt him so greatly if his secrets were ever exposed. The cocaine weighed him down, feeling heavy and palpable in his bag. Such a small thing could profoundly change his future. It could affect him in such a drastic way. His own intentions were so unclear these days that he could barely trust himself, let alone someone else.

A few blocks from Bard’s house, Thranduil’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He grumbled to himself as he checked who it was that was bothering him.

Elrond. Of course.

_Hey beautiful boy. You wanna play?_

God. Why did he let people do this to him? Why was he so easily manipulated? Thranduil didn’t understand the way his brain worked, or he didn’t care enough to acknowledge the callous truth. Half the time he didn’t even believe he had emotions.

_Yeah, baby. Whats up? <3_

Thranduil responded in the only way he knew how. He played along. He added fuel to the flames. He was never one to back away from such blatant affection. He needed it to feel good about himself. And it’s not like it was wrong, so he didn’t think too long on it.

Elrond didn’t respond, which was a nice relief for Thranduil. He already felt guilty enough about sleeping with Bard. He didn’t need any more stress.

He put his phone on silent and shoved it into his back pocket, pushing the thought of Elrond far out of his mind as he continued walking in silence.

When he reached Bard’s house he sat near the door under the small awning, trying to stay dry (despite the fact that the rain had already drenched his hair). Thranduil pulled out a cigarette and lit it as he checked his phone, realizing that he had two missed calls and three unread messages, two from Bard and one from Elrond.

Before he even got a chance to look at the messages the door behind him opened and Bard stuck his head outside, looking at the rain and then down to Thranduil.

“I tried calling you. I didn’t want you to get caught in the rain.” Bard said. “I could’ve picked you up.”

“Sorry, my phone was on silent. Only looking at it now.” Thranduil replied, holding his phone up.

“You got soaked.” Bard observed, furrowing his brow as he stepped outside and closed the door. He took a seat beside Thranduil as the blonde continued leisurely puffing on his cigarette.

The toxic smoke filled up his lungs, leaving him feeling less empty for a moment before he exhaled sharply. Bard sighed beside him.

“Sorry.” Thranduil murmured, smoke still escaping his lips as he spoke.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I don’t know.”

“No reason to be sorry, babe.”

There was an uneasy tension rising in the blonde’s chest that left him with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. “I like the rain anyway.” He commented flippantly, hoping the tone of his voice didn’t come off too harsh.

Bard smirked. “I admit, you do look good all wet.”

Thranduil chuckled softly, the shame burning in his chest. He felt horrible for sleeping with Bard so soon after having sex with Elrond. It was beginning to hurt but he was the master of being cold and emotionless (or so he was told) so he pushed the feeling to the back of his mind.

Getting attached and developing feelings for Bard was never the plan. The clenching sensation in his chest was foreign to him so he did his best to ignore it, despite knowing full well what it meant.

But really, what did Bard expect from someone like him anyway? Thranduil was a loser when it came to love and relationships. He didn’t even know if he was capable of having a normal healthy relationship. What he had with Elrond was different; something else altogether.

The guilt was present, like a giant elephant in the room, threatening to swallow up all the air until Thranduil could no longer breathe.

He did tell Bard that they could have something, but was that only because he craved the attention or was it something more? He didn’t know if he was able to commit himself to one person _forever_. That was a scary thought.

“Hey Thran?” Bard said, pulling Thranduil from his reverie.

“Yeah?” Thranduil exhaled, the sound leaving a furtive swarm of anxiety in its wake. The quiet thrum of his heart now pounding louder in his ears, leaving his head swimming as Bard shot him a concerned glance.

Their eyes locked for a fraction of a second, the hazel piercing into his soul torturously despite the lack of malicious intent behind Bard’s words. Thranduil quickly diverted his eyes, focusing now on the ground instead.

“Is everything okay?” Bard asked.

“Just didn’t want to give Legolas back. I’m fine.” Thranduil half-lied. At least it wasn’t an outright lie; there was some truth to his words. But really, it was hard to decipher between lies and truths when you had no idea what was even wrong to begin with.

Thranduil couldn’t identify what he was feeling, so it wasn’t a lie, he justified.

“You sure?” Bard asked again, leaning in closer as Thranduil’s smoke swirled around the lines of his profile, lingering longer in the damp air before dissipating altogether.

“I’m good, Bard. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, just checking.”

“So when is this party?” Thranduil questioned, deciding a change of topic was needed. He did not want to talk about himself anymore, nor did he need Bard’s pity.

“Bilbo said to be there around eight. We can go earlier or later though.” Bard replied as Thranduil made to stand up so he could go toss his cigarette butt on the road.

“How far is Bilbo’s place from here?” He said when he made it back to the porch. The two of them retreated indoors, out of the rain.

“It’s about a fifteen minute drive. Too far to walk.” Bard said, throwing himself down on the sofa, beckoning for Thranduil to take a seat beside him.

The blonde sat down gingerly as he curled his long legs underneath himself and hugged his knees close to his chest. “You’re gonna drive then?”

“Yeah. I guess I just won’t drink much then. Only two or three beers.”

Thranduil made a face and Bard chuckled.

“We could always stay the night if we needed to. Bilbo won’t mind.” Bard assured.

“Won’t that be a little awkward with me there, though?”

“Nah, Bilbo is having others over that I’ve never met, so not everyone will know each other.”

“Okay, as long as it’s not going to be weird.” Thranduil said as he twirled a damp strand of hair through his fingers. He could feel Bard’s gaze lingering on the hand in his hair.

“It won’t be weird, I promise.”

“Well…I’ll need to get some wine then.”

“Should you be drinking?” Bard asked as he reached for the remote to turn on the tv.

“Why not? It is a party after all…” Thranduil replied, hoping Bard couldn’t detect the hesitation in his tone.

“Yeah but I don’t know, I thought it was a problem for you…”

“No, not alcohol.” Thranduil lied. “I’ll be good.”

“Okay.” Bard responded, sounding like he definitely did not believe Thranduil. At least he didn’t push the subject though, and for that the blonde was grateful.

Bard flipped through a few channels, but apparently nothing satisfied him. He huffed in annoyance as he flicked the television off again. “You want lunch?” He asked Thranduil, who was still caught up in playing with his hair, looking for spilt ends.

“Sure. I’m generally always hungry.” The blonde replied, uncurling his legs and stretching himself out.

They both made their way to the small kitchen. Bard dug through the cupboards, silently grumbling to himself about the lack of anything good in the house. They ended up deciding to make fettuccini alfredo since Thranduil loved all kinds of pasta dishes and Bard actually had the pre-made sauce and some noodles.

The food was made in relative silence – quite the contrast compared to their cooking shenanigans from the other evening.

As they ate, Thranduil’s phone kept buzzing, notifying him of incoming messages. The dings eventually turned into ringing. Thranduil cursed himself internally for turning the volume back on earlier when he should’ve just left it on silent.

Bard raised his eyebrows at Thranduil as the blonde set down his fork with a clank and let out a disgruntled sigh.

“You gonna get that?” Bard asked between his mouthfuls of pasta.

“Ugh, no.” Thranduil groaned dramatically, wishing he could just throw the damn phone at the wall.

“Might be important.”

“I’m sure it’s not.”

Thranduil knew exactly who it was, which was why he was not going to answer in front of Bard.

After they finished eating and cleaning up, Bard announced that he needed to take a shower. He went upstairs and left Thranduil alone in the living room. The blonde finally checked his phone to see that he was right about who was trying to contact him. It was Elrond replying to Thranduil’s earlier message.

_I’m just sitting here thinking about your pretty face._

_You wanna come over tonight darling?_

_I need you here._

_Answer your fucking phone!!!!_

Thranduil didn’t know how to respond. His automatic thought was to text back saying yes, he would come over. He couldn’t do that though. He couldn’t treat Bard that way. It was obvious to Thranduil just how much Bard cared about him and he didn’t want to hurt him. But at the same time it was hard to break old habits. Elrond was definitely a habit that needed breaking.

Instead of answering, he just ignored Elrond’s texts and put his phone away in his pocket. Fuck it.

He was starting to feel like shit again. Lately, his emotions changed faster than the weather. He could be feeling fine one second and on the verge of tears the next.

As Bard was showering and getting ready for Bilbo’s party, Thranduil paced around the main level of the house. He finally sat down in the kitchen and started digging through his bag. He unzipped a pocket on the inside and fished out a small silk bag with a velvet string used to keep it fastened. Thranduil took a deep breath as he unraveled the string and opened up the bag, fiddling around to pull out what was inside.

His mother’s necklace.

The only possession Thranduil still had that belonged to his mother. This one family heirloom was all he had to remember her by. It was her favourite necklace, the one piece of jewelry she always wore every day. It belonged to her mother and her mother’s mother. Thranduil wasn’t even sure how far back it went. He knew it was very old though.

Thranduil clutched it in his hand, holding it to his chest tightly as he fought back his tears. Do not cry. She would not want you to cry, he reminded himself.

It was as though her spirit and soul were immortalized in the beautiful white gems that hung delicately from the silver chain. Thranduil ran his fingers over the sparkling gems, inhaling the now long-faded scent of his mother’s perfume, hoping to capture and embody her optimism and strength.

The blonde gathered all his hair over one shoulder as he put on the necklace, struggling at first with the clasp until he finally got it. Thranduil stood up from the kitchen table and went to the downstairs bathroom to look at himself in the mirror.

He wished his mother was still with him.

The longing empty feeling in his chest threatened to suffocate him, his ribs feeling as though they might collapse and puncture his lungs. Being completely and utterly alone in the world hurt far too much no matter how many years passed or how believable his façade grew to be.

Looking in the mirror for too long was never a good idea, so Thranduil sauntered back to the kitchen and sat down at the table, resting his head on the cool surface. He barely noticed when Bard approached. The brunette took a seat across from Thranduil and reached out settling his hands over top of Thranduil’s.

“Hey.” Bard said in a whisper.

“Hi.” Thranduil replied, looking up and flashing Bard his most convincing grin.

“You’re alright?”

Thranduil raised his eyebrows and gave Bard a look of _‘not this again’_.

“Sorry!” Bard retracted, “I just wanted to make sure.”

“I know.” Thranduil smiled. “I’m better now. I know I was in a foul mood before, but I’m okay now. I promise. Sorry if I was a dick.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s alright.” Bard said, pressing a kiss to the back of Thranduil’s hands. “What do you want to do before we go? We’ve got some time to kill.”

“Let’s watch a movie or something. I want to cuddle.” Thranduil declared, putting on his best cute face.

Bard smiled as he stood up and pulled the blonde up with him. “Sounds good to me. I’d like to cuddle with you as well.”

“Good.” Thranduil pressed a light kiss to Bard’s cheek as the brunette guided him over to the couch.

Thranduil stretched out his long legs over Bard’s lap once the two of them sat down. Bard laced their fingers together and turned on Netflix.

Thranduil’s mind and body were exhausted, so it wasn’t surprising when he fell asleep rather quickly on the couch.

\-----------

“Hey, beautiful. Wake up. It’s almost four-thirty. If you want wine we will have to go now.” Bard said as he shook Thranduil’s arm gently, their fingers still entwined together.

“Mm, what?” Thranduil mumbled before a yawn escaped his lips. Bard chuckled and rubbed the pad of his thumb over the blonde’s knuckles. Thranduil grasped Bard’s hand tightly as he stretched out his tense body.

“It’s time to wake up. Stores close at five today.” Bard said again, leaning down to press a kiss to the blonde’s soft lips.

Thranduil reacted by grabbing onto Bard’s shirt and pulling him closer, deepening their kisses.

“Yes, please.” Thranduil sighed against the brunette’s lips. That was definitely the right away to capture Thranduil’s attention. He could easily spend all day exchanging lazy kisses with Bard.

“Are you ready?” Bard asked, a big smile plastered on his face as he pulled his lips away from Thranduil’s.

“I guess this is as ready as I’ll ever be.” Thranduil murmured, closing his eyes again and letting out a low groan as he stretched a final time before sitting up.

Bard got up and Thranduil followed behind slowly, absently braiding his hair into a messy plait that hung down over one shoulder.

“We can grab dinner while we’re out if you want.” Bard called out from the kitchen where Thranduil found him loading bottles of beer into a duffle bag.

“Oh my god! How much are you going to drink?!” Thranduil gaped at all the beer Bard was packing. There had to be at least a dozen bottles in there.

“This is to share.” Bard said with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Lies, you’re gonna pass out, Bard. I can feel it.” Thranduil laughed.

“Maybe. But I talked to Bilbo earlier and he said we could crash there, so I figured I could have more than originally planned.”

“I must say, I am rather excited to see you inebriated.” Thranduil smirked.

“Oh yeah?” Bard chuckled, trying to fit all the beer in the bag gently without breaking any.

“Yeah, I wonder what you’ll do…”

“I might wrestle you.”

“Then I hope you don’t mind being pinned down, because I’m a lot stronger than I look.” Thranduil said, slowly walking towards Bard.

“I bet you are, and I don’t mind at all.” Bard grinned, trying to zip up the bag and failing. “I think I might enjoy it.”

“You will definitely enjoy it.” Thranduil giggled as he wrapped his arms around Bard’s waist causing the brunette to gasp under his touch. Bard quickly abandoned his effort to zip up his bag once Thranduil began trailing kisses up the back of his neck.

After a bit more flirting and a pretty steamy make out session up against the fridge door, Bard and Thranduil rushed out of the house and into Bard’s car.

Thankfully, they made it to the liquor store with a few minutes to spare. Bard waited in the car while Thranduil went in to get his wine.

Thranduil probably didn’t need two large bottles of wine, but he thought he would treat himself. He knew it wasn’t exactly the most responsible treat, but he didn’t think on it too much. He hadn’t had wine in a while and it had always been his favourite for when he went to parties. He liked to appear classy.

“What did you get?” Bard asked when Thranduil climbed back into the car with a large brown paper bag.

“Two bottles of merlot. The cabernet sauvignon was way too expensive, so merlot it is.” Thranduil replied. “To share, of course.” He smirked at Bard as the brunette started the car again.

“You’re so funny, Thran.” Bard grinned, clearly realizing he was being mocked.

“Psh, me? No way.” Thranduil chuckled, examining his purchase before sitting the bag on the floor in front of him.

“So where do you want to eat?” Bard inquired as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Hmm. Fast food or sit-down restaurant?” Thranduil asked as Bard turned down the radio.

“We have enough time for whatever you’d like.”

“This might sound ridiculous but I’m totally craving subway right now.”

“Okay. Subway works.” Bard replied. “Thran wants a footlong, eh?” He laughed at himself as the blonde shook his head at the ridiculous comment.

“Yes. Obviously. Six inches just isn’t enough for me.” Thranduil giggled, rolling his eyes at the sexual connotation.

They ate slowly and lazily in a small booth at Subway. Thranduil surprisingly didn’t inhale his food like he usually did. They had time to kill, so he ate at a leisurely pace, half lounging on the seat, one leg stretched out and the other snug to his chest.

Bard seemed to be rather curious as to what a vegetarian ate from Subway. The brunette had ordered some teriyaki chicken thing; Thranduil wasn’t paying too much attention so he really didn’t know. But Bard appeared to be shocked by the fact that Thranduil put triple the amount of cheese on his flatbread, topping it with tons of mayo, sub sauce, avocado spread, cucumbers, peppers and lettuce. Thranduil laughed at Bard’s expression and assured him that it was delicious.

While they were eating, Thranduil absently wondered if it was appropriate to pull out a bottle of wine in a fast food restaurant. He wanted to, but his rational side shut down the idea before it had time to come to fruition.

He was craving that wine like parched earth craved water in a drought. He couldn’t wait to uncork the bottle. Thranduil had always been partial to wine; it had always been his favourite alcoholic drink ever since the first time he snuck a sip from his father’s glass when he was no more than ten years old. Wine made him feel powerful. When he was fifteen he used to steal vintage wine from the cellar in his parents basement – that was after his father had passed away and it was much easier to get away with things – and he would drink it alone in his bedroom pretending he was important and wasn’t really so lonely. It was then that he realized that he had an addictive personality. But even still, it did not stop him from indulging himself in these harmful coping mechanisms. It was the only way to manage his internal pain, so he really didn’t care about the negative consequences.

Part of Thranduil didn’t want Bard to witness the spectacle of his drunkenness, but another part of him believed that it would improve their communication, that a sense of comfort could be achieved from being drunk together. Social bonding is what it was. Being under the influence of anything generally made Thranduil more at ease around people, calming his anxiety enough that he could let down his walls, if only for a night.

Drunken sex was good too. He was secretly hoping Bard would be willing to sate his need.

\-----------

Because they had so much time before Bilbo’s party started, they ended up driving around the lake, Thranduil asking Bard to stop the car every now and then so he could take pictures of the way the sun reflected off of the clear, serene water.

By the time they arrived at Bilbo’s, it was already past eight o’clock. They unfortunately got stuck in traffic, which was odd for a Sunday evening. But it all made sense once they realized there had been an accident and they got caught behind it all. Car accidents always made Thranduil uneasy so he was a little tense when they showed up at Bilbo’s.

Bard parked on the street as they walked up to Bilbo’s small home. It was a bungalow, nestled deep amongst a vast array of foliage. The front yard was covered with all sorts of flowers and shrubs. Thranduil liked it. It felt very homey and very welcoming. There was a small fence around the perimeter of the yard and a sign posted on the gate which read _‘No Admittance, Except on Party Business.’_

Bard knocked on the door and Thranduil stood beside him waiting patiently for Bilbo to answer the door and let them in.

“Bard! You made it!” Bilbo grinned as he swung the door open. “And you brought your blonde friend…”

“Hello.” Thranduil said, trying to sound as polite as possible. He had already met Bilbo that one day when he was desperately searching for Bard, but it was not a very official meeting.

“Oh my _fucking_ god! Look who it is!” A gruff voice yelled out from a short distance behind Thranduil, who was still standing close to Bard as the brunette properly introduced him to Bilbo.

Thranduil knew that voice. He had heard it before. Quickly, the blonde turned his head, hair flipping and most likely thwacking poor Bard in the face in the process.

Thranduil stared in shock as he took in the sight before him.

Fucking Thorin Oakenshield. Stumbling around like a fool, no less.

The blonde stood, gaping like a fish, unable to find any words. Thorin was smirking slightly, the look making Thranduil feel sick. _What is he doing here?_

“What are you doing here?” Thorin finally said, as if reading Thranduil’s mind.

“You two know each other?!” Bilbo exclaimed loudly, his eyes almost bugging out of his head.

Bard said nothing; the only thing letting Thranduil know that he was still standing beside him was his steady breathing, in and out. Thranduil really needed to learn how to breathe properly before he choked to death.

“We go _way_ back.” Thorin answered before Thranduil could even think to say anything. The short burly man took a few uneasy steps over towards them. Was he already drunk? “Used to be allies of sorts in high school, until this fucker decided we weren’t worthy.” Thorin laughed. Now that he was closer Thranduil could see just how glassy his eyes were. Definitely stoned too.

“There was nothing I could do.” Thranduil groaned. “Don’t bring this shit up now. It’s in the past.” The blonde shifted his weight from side to side, the anxiety rising rapidly. The last thing he wanted was to be reminded of childish high school rivalries.

“Still overly sensitive, I see.” Thorin said, shaking his head.

“No. You’re just an ass.” Thranduil retorted.

“I’ll never forget the time Thranduil cried for hours at my house watching some ‘donate to Africa’ infomercial on tv. It was hilarious. He was gonna call and everything!” Thorin laughed hard, slapping his knee as he threw his head back.

“Shut up! It wasn’t my fault!”

“The ecstasy really fucked with you.” Thorin laughed again. Thranduil sighed. He was going to have to put his walls up, be cold. It was becoming a natural reflex now.

“Yes. It did. Now stop talking, Oakenshield. I have wine to drink.” Thranduil said in a cool nonchalant tone.

“Ah, go drink your wine then, princess!”

As Thranduil began walking off in the direction of what he guessed was the living room, he felt Bard follow him. He could hear Thorin muttering to Bilbo, something along the line of ‘why the hell did you invite him?’ There were only a few other people there, all caught up talking to each other and eating Bilbo’s food that they didn’t even notice Thranduil and Bard entering the room.

Thranduil exhaled loudly as he sat down on a small sofa.

“You know Thorin?” Bard asked as he took a seat beside the blonde.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” Thranduil replied, pulling a bottle of wine from the brown paper bag. He fished around in his backpack for a corkscrew so he could get into the wine ASAP. No more waiting around. He needed a drink now.

“How does Bilbo know him?” Thranduil asked when Bard said nothing.

“He works at the hospital. Janitor, or custodial engineer, as Bilbo would say.”

“Oh god. I didn’t know he worked there.” Thranduil said as he popped the cork out of the wine and took a sip straight from the bottle. It was divine.

“Yeah, Bilbo sort of has a thing for him.” Bard chuckled as he began unzipping his bag.

“Ew. Does he have no taste?” Thranduil scoffed, pulling a disgusted face.

“Thorin isn’t that bad.” Bard said as he grabbed a beer and twisted the cap off. He looked extremely attractive when his biceps flexed the way they did. Thranduil couldn’t help but gawk at the sight before him.

“He was always an asshole to me.”

“Maybe he’s different now. That was high school. People change.” Bard said with a smile, before taking a sip of his beer.

“Maybe. Still seems like a douche though.”

“Well, don’t let him ruin your night.”

“Oh, don’t worry. He won’t, he doesn’t have that power. And besides, I have you to keep me in check.” Thranduil said, elbowing Bard in the ribs. The brunette chuckled, before getting up and sitting his beer on the side table.

“Yes, I’ll do my best.” Bard smiled. “I’ll be right back. Gotta put these drinks in the fridge. Nothing worse than warm beer.”

\-----------

It seemed as though everyone at Bilbo’s party, besides Bard, was extremely short. Thranduil felt a bit like a giant, towering over everybody as they played beer pong on Bilbo’s dining room table. Thranduil stood beside Bard as he watched the brunette take on a small guy named Ori, or at least that’s what Thranduil thought his name was. All of Bilbo’s friends had strange names. But then Thranduil wasn’t one to talk. He knew his named was odd. He always believed his parents were tripping on acid when they chose his name.

“YEAH!!” Bard hollered as the little white ball bounced off one cup causing it to land in the one next to it.

Bard was a really good shot; it seemed like it was impossible for him to ever miss. Thranduil cheered him on while continuing to drink his wine from the bottle. He was almost done the first bottle and was hesitant about starting the second because he didn’t think he would have enough to last as long as he would like. He could always steal some shots from someone else though. He cursed his high tolerance, hoping he would still be able to get drunk.

Bilbo was fiddling around with the television, swearing at it under his breath as he tried to get Netflix to cooperate. Once he finally got it running, he put on the third season of The Walking Dead and announced to whoever was listening that they were going to play a drinking game.

Thranduil didn’t need drinking games to get drunk, but he was always down for some Walking Dead. He still did want to kick Bard’s ass in beer pong though.

Thorin came up to them just as Bard had sunk the winning shot and let out a howl, leaving a stumbling Ori to finish off his last cup of beer. The poor guy looked like he was about to throw up. Thranduil cringed.

“Blondie, do you have any hard liquor?” Thorin asked, his feet faltering beneath him.

“Only wine and you best not steal any of it.” Thranduil said, absently reaching for Bard’s arm and turning to smile at the brunette as he laced their fingers together.

Thorin scoffed at the sight before he was startled by Bilbo.

“Thorin!!!” Bilbo shouted loudly, jumping up from the floor, “I told you I put the vodka in the freezer!”

“R-right! Let’s do shots! See how much Thrandy can handle!” Thorin laughed, clapping Thranduil hard on the shoulder.

“We are playing a drinking game to The Walking Dead.” Bilbo told Thorin, who yet again didn’t seem to pay any attention.

“I bet Thran could drink you under the table!” Bard said to Thorin, chuckling as he finished off the cups of beer that Ori had missed.

“We’ll see ‘bout that!” Thorin laughed, walking off in the direction of the kitchen to most likely retrieve the vodka.

They ended up only watching half an episode of the Walking Dead as everyone was not able to pay attention long enough to actually sit through it. No one wanted to deal with all of Bilbo’s rules either. Rick Grimes wasn’t saying _‘thangs’_ very often so there wasn’t exactly much drinking happening. Thranduil hated to admit it but he would rather be doing shots like Thorin had suggested.

Bard was drinking quickly and had appeared to have already gone through over half a dozen beers when Thranduil began crawling over to him, batting his lashes seductively.

“What?” Bard asked with a faraway look on his face. He was definitely drunk.

“What do you mean what?” Thranduil asked in a coy tone.

“What?” Bard repeated, laughing at himself for his lack of understanding.

“You’re drunk.” Thranduil stated, grabbing his second bottle of wine and chugging it for a few seconds.

“No, _you_.” Bard giggled, pulling the bottle away from the blonde, and dragging him onto his lap.

“Get a fuckin’ room!” Thorin yelled, stumbling towards them and plopping himself down on the carpet with the cold bottle of vodka.

Thranduil laughed out loud when he saw Ori dancing with a couch cushion and embracing it tenderly in his arms.

“You too, Ori!” Thorin laughed. “You and that cushion need a room!”

“We are technically in a room.” Thranduil said.

“I don’t want to watch your lily white ass getting fucked!” Thorin said, crinkling his nose and shaking his head in sweeping motions.

“I wouldn’t allow you the pleasure of watching.” Thranduil quipped, pulling himself off of Bard’s lap so he could stretch his legs.

“Shots?” Thorin asked.

“Fuck yes.” Thranduil said.

“Yes, for me too.” Bard added, sitting up straight to grab an already used shot glass from the coffee table.

Thorin poured them all shots and they downed them in succession, before he refilled their glasses a second and then a third time.

Bard was grasping Thranduil’s thigh, rubbing it slowly as he took his last shot. Thranduil felt a strong buzzing in his head. Whether it was due to the alcohol or Bard’s touches, he did not know. Slowly but surely everything was going blurry; each time his vision went overly fuzzy, he continued to focus on the sensation of Bard’s hand on his leg. He didn’t dare stand up yet. He stared into space for a few seconds before a low pitched snickering sound brought him back to reality.

“Thranduil, remember the time you had an orgy in my basement?” Thorin asked, an eruption of laughter bursting from his lips.

“An orgy?” Bard asked, shooting Thranduil a quizzical look.

“It was nothing!” Thranduil said, trying to evade the subject. He didn’t want to make Bard uncomfortable.

“It was fucking hilarious.” Thorin said, his voice rising loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Thank god none of them were actually listening, too caught up in their own conversations to care what Thorin was rambling on about.

“What happened?” Bard slurred, shifting his weight so he was now leaning into Thranduil’s shoulder. “Tell me!”

Thranduil sighed before Thorin began speaking. “Well, he was having this orgy in my basement. And I was upstairs just chilling in the kitchen and then all of a sudden --” Thorin paused for dramatic effect, “blondie here came upstairs wearing nothing but lacy underwear and a gas mask!”

“A gas mask?!” Bilbo cut in, gasping in shock.

“Yes, a gas mask and ropes tied around his arms! He went straight to the fridge, digging around, so I asked him what he was looking for and all he said was ‘I need Tabasco and ice cubes’ and then once he found what he needed he went back downstairs!” Thorin laughed, falling back into the side of the armchair.

“Oh my god!” Bard shouted, probably louder than he expected, as he clasped a hand over his mouth. Thranduil chuckled slightly, giving Thorin a dirty look that was easily ignored.

“Yes, I know. Good memories.” Thranduil said, rolling his eyes. “Bard?”

“Yeah?” The brunette answered, now almost lying on top of Thranduil’s lap.

“Let’s go outside, away from these fools.” Thranduil said, directing his comment towards Thorin.

“Ow ow!” Bilbo hollered.

“Oh stop!” Bard said to his friend, shoving Bilbo’s arm as he attempted to stand up without falling.

A laugh came roaring out of Bard at the sight of the normally elegant Thranduil tripping over his own feet as the two of them made their way to the back door. Thranduil clutched his bottle of wine and tried to compose himself quickly, but couldn’t help laughing along with Bard. That laugh was contagious.

“Shhh!” Thranduil shushed Bard as they walked past a few of Bilbo’s stout friends who were all hanging out in the kitchen playing cards and eating a large pizza. One of them groaned loudly and flung a few green peppers onto the floor. They were like a pack of ravenous wolves.

“Ew, sick.” Bard whispered, almost stepping on the mushy discarded vegetables as they snuck past everyone else unnoticed. “Where’re my ssshoes?” He grasped Thranduil’s arm, head flailing from side to side as he gaped around at the floor, as if his shoes would magically appear before him.

“Y’don’t need shoes.” Thranduil said, pulling Bard along until the brunette was being hauled out the back door and onto the small stone patio. Thranduil continued dragging around Bard’s limp body until they reached the grass.

Thranduil plopped himself down onto the cool dry grass, pulling Bard down with him.

“Hey, I know!” Bard stated, holding up one finger as his words trailed off and he let himself relax on the ground beneath him.

“Know what?” Thranduil asked, sitting with his legs crossed as he took another long sip from his wine bottle.

Bard had given up on his beer long ago and had apparently snatched the bottle of vodka from Thorin when he was busy laughing at Thranduil and not paying attention to his surroundings. Serves him right.

“We should…” Bard started, staring up at the sky as he let himself lay back into the grass. “We should play a game.” He finished, reaching out for Thranduil’s hand but failing as he clutched the blonde’s thigh instead.

“What game?” Thranduil hummed, letting his hand entwine with Bard’s as the brunette pulled him down so they were lying side by side.

“Umm…What’s a good game?” Bard slurred, turning on his side and resting his head gently on Thranduil’s shoulder.

“Cards against Humanity!” Thranduil supplied, sitting up quickly with excitement and almost knocking Bard in the head. “Sorry, I got excited.”

“We don’ have it though!” Bard whined and sat up so he could take another quick sip of the vodka.

Thranduil couldn’t help but stare at Bard as he lifted the bottle to his lips and gulped down the clear liquid, some of it spilling down his chin.

“Mmm, Bard.” Thranduil drawled, slipping his hand around the bottle, pulling it away from Bard as he licked the corner of the brunette’s mouth seductively. “You’re spilling.” He battled his lashes as Bard laughed and licked him back on the cheek.

“Maybe I’m spilling on purpose.” Bard said. “Maybe I just want your tongue all over me.”

“You’re awful.” Thranduil moaned, shoving Bard teasingly.

“Am I?”

“Yes. Now, what kinda game d’you wanna play?”

“Truth…or dare!” Bard said letting himself fall back into the comfort of the soft grass.

“What, are you twelve?” Thranduil chuckled, rolling his eyes at Bard’s childishness. The blonde would never admit it, but he was glad Bard suggested something so juvenile. It was a good way to get to know each other and open up, despite how drunk they both were.

“Yes, I’m twelve. You wanna play or not?”

“Okay. Ask me first.”

“Okay, truth or dare?” Bard asked, his fingers resting on Thranduil’s thigh, tracing lazy patterns into the fabric of his tight jeans.

“Hmmm…”Thranduil thought for a moment. Would he go for truth? Or would be easier to just do a dare? He always hated truth. “Dare.”

“Ooohh! Okay. Let’s see.” Bard said, scrunching his face up as he thought of something. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, taking his time thinking as he rubbed his chin between his thumb and his index finger.

“I’m waiting…” Thranduil smirked, running his long fingers through his hair as he let the tresses fan out around his head.

“Phhh!” Bard blew air from his mouth, spitting a little as he brushed Thranduil’s hair from his face. “That damn hair!” He groaned playfully. “It’s in my mouth!”

“Oops, sssorry.” Thranduil laughed, lifting his head and collecting all his hair on one side and out of Bard’s face. “Maybe I should cut it.”

“No! Oh my god, please don’t!” Bard exclaimed loudly, turning to face Thranduil once again as he lightly ran his fingers through the blonde strands that framed Thranduil’s face. “Your hair is beautiful. Luxurious. Perfect.” Bard sighed and leaned over to press a kiss into Thranduil’s temple.

“Bard. You flatter me.” Thranduil grinned, covering his face, knowing that he was definitely blushing.

Bard laughed and kissed his forehead before putting on a straight face. “Okay, dare. I dare you to…eat those peppers off the floor!”

“EW! NO. That’s disgusting. I will do no such thing!” Thranduil scoffed, shaking his head. “Something less gross.”

“C’mon! It’s just food.”

“From Bilbo’s dirty floor, no thank you!”

“Fine.” Bard grumbled. “I dare you to kiss me, then.”

“Well that’s easy. I’d do it even if you didn’t dare me.” Thranduil said, leaning over and pressing a chaste kiss onto Bard’s lips. “There.”

“With tongue.”

“Okay then.” Thranduil crawled over Bard’s body, placing both hands on either side of the brunette’s head as he drew in a deep breath before letting his mouth close over Bard’s. He lightly nipped at Bard’s bottom lip, sucking at it before letting his tongue slide into his pliant mouth. Thranduil hummed in contentment as Bard let his tongue delve deeper into his warm mouth. Before Thranduil pulled away, Bard sucked on his tongue and bit at his lower lip to try to keep him in place. “How was that?”

“Mmm, good. Very good.”

“Yes, I know, right?” Thranduil sighed heavily, the desire now coursing through his veins. He kept one hand draped over Bard’s strong chest as he curled his head into the crook of the brunette’s neck. “You’re comfortable.” Thranduil added absently. The drunkenness was diminishing most of the thoughts in his mind, and he was extremely grateful that his negative mood from earlier was now long gone. Bless the wine. Bless Bard’s soft pouty lips.

“You’re perfect.” Bard said, voice becoming slow and monotone. Thranduil smiled and sucked little marks into Bard’s neck.

“How about you, truth or dare?” Thranduil asked, ignoring the fact that Bard called him perfect. He internally scoffed at that notion. He was far from perfect.

“Truth.”

“Okay, Bard. How do you really feel about me? I want the whole truth.”

“Umm...okay. So you fascinate me. You are beautiful and kind and smart and your hair is just so soft and pretty, it shines like the stars. Your eyes are gorgeous and I could stare at you all day long if you let me. I’ve never met anyone like you and I – I don’t know. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, _ever_. I think I love you and I want to know everything about you because you are so interesting and so unique. Everything about you is special and I just want to cherish you until the end of time…and…” Bard’s voice slowly trailed off as if he was about to pass out.

Thranduil’s eyes widened and a little gasp muffled out of his lips. “ _What?”_

“Mmm, what what?” Bard murmured so low that Thranduil felt more than heard the words as Bard pressed a tender kiss to the top of the blonde’s head.

Thranduil didn’t speak for a moment, trying his best to collect himself before saying something he may regret. What did Bard just say?

_I love you._

No. No one loves you, Thranduil’s mind supplied. He held on tight to Bard before lifting his head to look the brunette in the eyes. “Bard?”

Apparently, Bard had passed out. Thranduil examined his face to make sure he wasn’t just playing games. When the blonde realized that Bard actually was asleep, he nuzzled back into Bard’s chest, wrapping his arms around the brunette’s waist once again.

“I love you, too.” Thranduil whispered softly against the warm skin of Bard’s neck before closing his eyes and letting sleep claim his weary drunken body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make me super duper happy! Let me know what you think :D


	13. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit intense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo. I'm taking advantage of the days I have off work!
> 
> This chapter wasnt planned to be like this and it's a bit short (and mostly dialogue) but now I know exactly what is happening in the next chapter thanks to this. (hint, maybe you'll get some emotional smut!)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Bard didn’t remember falling asleep.

The last thing he remembered was snatching the bottle of vodka from an almost passed out Thorin and being hauled off outside in the grip of a beautiful ethereal being. Although on that particular night Thranduil was not so ethereal and composed.

Bard had learned that when faced with a hilarious situation, Thranduil often laughed so hard that he ended up snorting. It was very amusing to say the least. It seemed as though with every passing glance and every soft touch they exchanged that Bard fell deeper and deeper in love with the blonde. He had been grateful for their intoxication, for if he was sober, he would have very well embarrassed himself. Now, in the light of day he was glad that he could barely register the conversations they had had during the night.

Bard’s eyes opened slowly as he realized that he was not in a bed. His back was aching mildly and his head pounded, but of course that was to be expected after a night of vigorous drinking. He blinked a few times, the sun shining bright in his eyes as he looked around lazily.

He was outside. He must have fallen asleep in the grass.

Slowly, fragments of the night began to piece themselves together in his mind. He and Thranduil retreated from the party to where they could talk quietly alone under the clear night sky. He had remembered lying in the cool grass with the blonde beside him. He didn’t remember anything before he passed out though. His mind couldn’t put together the pieces of their conversation.

Bard absently worried whether he had said anything out of line, or if he had given away just how enamored he was with Thranduil. Hopefully, whatever he did say had fallen on deaf ears, that Thranduil was also too drunk to remember their exchange.

The heat of the sun was becoming unbearable on his exposed arms and face causing Bard to shift and roll onto his side as he stretched languidly. He looked around, noticing immediately that his blonde companion was no longer lying beside him.

Where could Thranduil have gone?

The blonde couldn’t have just left Bilbo’s house without letting Bard know. He wouldn’t do that, would he? After all, he was staying at Bard’s house so it would be odd if Thranduil left without him.

The thought rushed into Bard’s mind that maybe Thranduil didn’t even want to go back with him. Maybe Thranduil had gone to see his ex-boyfriend, or to his friend Tauriel’s house. Bard worried that maybe drinking the way they had was too much for Thranduil and had pushed him past his comfort zone and into a bad place.

Bard chewed his lip anxiously and let the guilt wash over him, knowing it was probably a horrible idea to have even let Thranduil get drunk in the first place. The blonde had said that alcohol was not a problem for him, but Bard knew better than that. He just wanted them to bond with the aid of the simple comfort that inebriation allowed. He knew now how selfish that was. Sure, it would make things easier for him, but it may end up making them a lot more difficult for Thranduil.

Bard groaned, pushing himself up on his elbows as he felt around in his pockets for his phone. Once the device flashed to life, he noticed two new messages from Thranduil, whose name was still saved as ‘The Death of Me’. Bard wasn’t sure if he should change it or leave it the way it was.

_Bard! I hope you aren’t pissed that you’re waking up in the grass without me. My alarm woke me up early because I had an appointment that I forgot about. I took the bus because I didn’t want to wake you._

_I’ll see you later xo_

Okay, at least Thranduil was fine. Bard checked the time before putting his phone back in his pocket. The screen told him it was almost noon. He couldn’t believe he had slept that deeply and for that long in the grass. He groaned again before picking himself up and walking towards Bilbo’s house.

He slid open the back door as silently as possible and crept inside, noticing there was still food on the floor and empty cardboard pizza boxes on the counter and on the small kitchen table. Beer bottles and cans were scattered everywhere over the floor and on side tables. He couldn’t believe Bilbo hadn’t freaked out over the mess yet.

The people that had stayed the night were still asleep on the couch and on the floor, except for Ori who was playing a video game in front of the tv. Bard walked by quietly and nodded at Ori when he looked over in Bard’s direction. The video game looked pretty intense so Bard didn’t want to interrupt. Bilbo was nowhere in sight, so Bard figured he must still be upstairs in bed. After assessing the situation, Bard decided maybe it wouldn’t be the best idea to go up looking for Bilbo, since he may have Thorin in bed with him and that would just be too awkward to witness.

Bard put any visible beer bottles into the box and crushed down the pizza boxes, putting them into the recycling bin under the sink. He collected his things and looked over the house once again before heading out the front door. He sent Bilbo a quick text explaining why he left without saying anything and thanked his friend for inviting him and Thranduil to the party.

The drive home felt longer than it really was due to Bard’s awful headache. He had to turn off the radio and put on his sunglasses because everything was making the pounding in his head worse.

When he finally arrived home he parked the car quickly and made his way inside as fast as he could. He went to the kitchen cabinet to retrieve some much needed Advil and took two pills before plopping himself down on the sofa. He contemplated showering – he knew he needed to – but right now he couldn’t muster up the strength to do anything other than lay there.

Pulling out his phone, he texted Thranduil. He let the blonde know that it was alright that he had to leave and that he would see him whenever he was done. He noticed that Thranduil had sent him the text quite early, at 8:29 a.m. which got Bard wondering just how long his meeting was going to take. It was already nearing 1 p.m. now. What kind of meeting took that amount of time?

Bard still felt quite oblivious to what kind of problems Thranduil really had. He knew about the drug problems but Bard thought that he must have some other issues as well. He chalked it up to depression or something of the sort. He didn’t want to pry, but he did want to know what was going on so he could lend his support. All in due time, he figured.

Bard’s phone buzzed in his hand, jolting his body into an upright position. It was Thranduil.

_I’ll be at your place in 10. Shitty meeting_

_k see u soon_

Since Thranduil would be back so soon, Bard decided he better shower. He pulled himself from the couch, making his way slowly up the stairs. Hopefully the bloody Advil would start working soon. Even though the shower was quick, it was still nice to relax under the hot, soothing water. Feeling clean and fresh made Bard feel a bit better too. He dried off hurriedly and put on comfy clothes before rushing back down the stairs and outside. He’d just wait outdoors until Thranduil arrived; it was a nice day and the fresh air wouldn’t hurt.

As Bard opened the door he saw Thranduil walking back and forth beside his car, smoking a cigarette.

“Sorry, I was just showering.” Bard called out as he made his way over to the blonde. Thranduil’s hair was up in a messy bun, he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and he looked like the definition of exhausted.

Thranduil stopped pacing for a second to look at Bard. He let out a long, angry sounding sigh before all his pretty features twisted into a grimace. He tossed his cigarette butt into the ground and stomped on it before pulling another one out and lighting it between his lips. Bard shot him a concerned look, not making any moves to get closer. Thranduil’s eyes were puffy and red. It was clear he had been crying. Bard’s heart clenched, almost feeling as though whatever had caused this was his fault for letting Thranduil get drunk the previous night.

“Thran, what’s wrong?” Bard asked carefully, not wanting to upset Thranduil any further.

The blonde let out a growl as he paced around, his hands balled up into tight fists. “My fucking necklace, Bard!”

“Did you lose it?” Bard guessed. Why else would the blonde be in such an awful mood?

“Yes!” Thranduil seethed, gritting his teeth together as he continued to storm back and forth beside Bard’s car. “I have to find it, Bard! You don’t understand!”

“Where did you have it last?”

“I put it on yesterday before we went to the party and now, now it’s fucking gone!”

Bard could see the fury growing in Thranduil’s eyes. His breath was becoming shaky and his whole body appeared to be trembling with rage. He was pissed.

“Did you take it off?” Bard asked, not sure how he could possibly calm Thranduil down when he was in such a state.

Thranduil didn’t say anything; he just grasped at his hair and grumbled loudly as if his frustration could somehow be squelched the louder he was.

“I’m sure you’ll find it.” Bard offered. “Which necklace was it?” Thranduil usually wore a lot of necklaces, which made it hard for Bard to help look for it if he had no idea which one he was looking for.

“One that you’ve never seen!”

“If you tell me what it looks like I could help you search for it?”

“We have to go back to Bilbo’s house!” Thranduil yelled, putting his hands on his hips sternly. He took another drag of his cigarette and exhaled the smoke dramatically.

“Do you want me to call him first? Maybe he found it…” Bard suggested, trying to stay as calm as possible despite the fact that he was getting rather flustered from being yelled at.

“Yes, fucking call him. I will die if I lost that necklace.”

“I’m sure he found it.”

“Oh fuck no! No, no, no!” Thranduil griped, voice changing pitch as he sunk to the ground beside Bard’s car.

“What?”

“Fucking Thorin! He stole it! That conniving little thief! I know it. He took it while we were sleeping. He wanted to get back at me.” Thranduil screamed, clutching his head in his hands before letting out an audible sigh.

“Do you really think Thorin would do that?” Bard asked gently.

“Of course he would! You don’t know him like I do, Bard. You have no idea what that little rat is capable of!” Thranduil shouted, standing back up quickly.

“You two were getting along last night though.”

“It was a farce! You think I’m that fucking stupid?!”

“NO, Thranduil! I don’t think you’re stupid!” Bard yelled. He was getting a little worked up now. He really didn’t have as much patience as most people seemed to think he did. He could blow up quite easily.

“Everyone thinks I’m stupid!” Thranduil said, his tone becoming more aggressive.

“No they don’t! Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Just fucking call Bilbo. I don’t have time for this shit.” Thranduil snapped, inching his way closer and closer to Bard in the heat of the moment. When he was standing less than a foot in front of Bard he puffed on his cigarette and blew the smoke in Bard’s direction. “Do it, Bard. Don’t fucking piss me off any more than I already am.”

“Seriously? What’s wrong with you?!” Bard groaned, clenching his fists until he could feel his nails digging into his palms.

“I’m fucking crazy! Everyone knows it; you’re just too blind to see it! You think I’m some angel who fell from heaven or some shit. It’s ridiculous.” Thranduil spit out the words and turned quickly on his heel to walk away.

Bard took a deep breath to try to calm himself down. Thranduil was sick, he reminded himself. He needed someone to help him, not someone to yell at him. He was hurt and he was sad. Bard mentally slapped himself for even yelling back in the first place.

“Thran… please. I’m sorry.” Bard said softly. “C’mere.” He held open his arms beckoning Thranduil to stop walking away.

“Why should I?” Thranduil said, turning to look at Bard again with a scowl on his face. The blonde could be pretty intimidating when he wanted to be. It almost made Bard nervous.

“Why shouldn’t you?”

“I don’t need your fucking pity, Bard!” Thranduil yelled, gritting his teeth as he tossed the cigarette over his shoulder.

“What have I done to deserve being yelled at?” Bard asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation. The heat in his chest was building, like a coil being wrapped tighter and tighter, just waiting to spring.

“You don’t know me, yet you think you do!” Thranduil screamed loudly, his eyes going wide as he shook his head.

“Only because you won’t open up!”

“Why should I open up to someone who’s doesn’t give a shit about me?!”

“Are you fucking serious?! I care about you more than anything!” Bard said, his voice becoming louder with his mounting frustration.

“Well, you’re stupid then.” Thranduil quipped with a snarky tone, rolling his eyes as he looked away from Bard.

Bard’s breath had picked up and he could hear his own heavy inhalation through his nose. His palms had gotten all sweaty and his heart was racing and fluttering about in his chest. He absolutely hated everything about this situation. He feared he may cry at any minute but tried to hold it back. The last thing he needed was to be angry, sad and embarrassed all at once.

“You’re just fucking scared.” Bard eventually said as Thranduil continued his pacing. Bard knew Thranduil didn’t really want to leave. He probably hated this scenario as much as Bard did.

“Of course I’m scared!”

“But why? I’m not out to hurt you.” Bard said, managing in some way to suppress his anger enough to sound rather calm. He didn’t understand how the conversation had turned to them. But he knew this had probably been eating away at Thranduil for longer than he would be willing to admit.

“You say that now, but the truth is everyone is out to hurt me.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“I’ve never had a real relationship before! Only Elrond, but that was different.” Thranduil glowered at Bard, clearly uncomfortable having to talk about this, but still making no move to leave.

“How was it different?” Bard asked. “You dated him, didn’t you?”

“Sort of, but we weren’t in love, we just fucked.”

“Oh god!” Bard sighed, feeling completely overwhelmed. He was on the verge of tears but he bit his lip almost hard enough to draw blood so that he wouldn’t cry.

“I don’t know if I’m even capable of love, Bard.” Thranduil finally said, still not making eye contact with Bard. He just paced around, back and forth, keeping his eyes fixed to the ground in front of him.

“How do you know that if all you ever do is run away once you start to feel something?” Bard questioned. It probably wasn’t the best idea to shove the obvious truth in Thranduil’s face, but Bard couldn’t control his own words right now. They escaped his lips before he even had time to think about what he was saying.

“I’m not like you. I feel nothing, _ever_!” Thranduil spat, his expression bordering on arrogance.

“That’s a lie, Thran. You’re just too scared to open up! It’s not hard to see. You’re trying to protect yourself and in doing so you put up this wall and end up closing yourself off from the possibility of love.”

“Love is fucking bullshit. My mom loved my dad but then he fucking died and she killed herself. There are no happy endings, Bard!” The blonde shouted heatedly, his hands balled into tight fists at his side.

“Yes there are!”

“Not for me!”

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh, but I do.”

“I could make you happy, and I wouldn’t let you down.”

“Ha!” Thranduil snorted. “Aren’t you disgusted by my antic disposition?! And what about the fact that I let you fuck me only a few days after Elrond had his way with me?! Doesn’t that make you want to run for the hills?!”

“What?! Are you serious? You just go around sleeping with anyone to make yourself feel valued? That’s fucking sad, Thranduil!”

“I’m not what you want, so why are you trying?!”

“Because I care, because I have feelings for you.” Bard confessed. He knew Thranduil was well aware of his affections, but he stated the obvious anyway.

“Why would you have feelings for someone like me?!” Thranduil groaned, his fists now grasping at the strands of hair hanging from around his face.

“I’m beginning to ask myself that now!” Bard growled, unable to stop himself from saying what clearly wasn’t true.

“Good!” Thranduil let out a chuckle and crossed his arms.

“Why would you fuck with me if you’re not even interested? Why use me?”

“Because I’m a piece of shit.”

“I don’t want to believe that you’re that manipulative and deceitful.”

“Well, maybe I am.” Thranduil said, his appearance now becoming icier and closed off. He was putting up his wall. Bard could see it so easily.

“I can’t accept that as the truth! I thought we had a connection!”

“I guess I’m a good actor then. Give me an Oscar for my efforts.” The blonde laughed again without mirth.

“Fuck you, Thranduil!” Bard yelled, letting his emotions get the better of him.

“Just forget about me, Bard. I can’t deal with this. I need my necklace!” Thranduil screamed louder than Bard had ever heard anyone scream in all his life.

In a flash, the blonde threw himself down into the dirt, his hands flying up to his face as he let out a torturous sob. The tears flowed out of his eyes and he swiped at his face trying to remove the wetness.

Bard didn’t speak for a few moments. He made his best attempt to compose himself as Thranduil sat there on the ground crying.

“Thran…”

“Just leave me alone.” Thranduil whimpered, holding his hands over his face as if that would stop the steady flow of tears.

“No.” Bard whispered. He quashed his anger to the best of his ability and sunk down onto the ground beside the distressed blonde. “Hey, come here.” Bard quickly wrapped both arms around Thranduil’s shaking body and held him close to his chest.

Bard rocked Thranduil gently in his arms, never loosening his grip on the blonde’s shoulders. All he wanted was to be able to comfort Thranduil. It didn’t matter if Bard felt angry or pissed off, he would get over that. It was all in the heat of the moment anyway. He just wanted Thranduil to be alright.

After a few minutes Thranduil’s crying subsided and he nuzzled his face into the crook of Bard’s neck.

“I’m so sorry.” The blonde spoke softly, not trusting his own voice.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad.” Bard said, pressing a light kiss to the top of Thranduil’s head. He didn’t realize it, but he had begun crying as well.

“You had every right. I’m horrible.”

“Don’t say that. You’re just upset. It’s okay. I’ll always be here.” Bard said, rubbing his hand up and down Thranduil’s arm to help calm him.

“You’re too good to be true.” Thranduil sniffled.

“No, you just matter to me.” Bard admitted, squeezing Thranduil’s arm tenderly.

“I didn’t mean it.”

“What?”

“That I don’t feel anything. Because I do.” Thranduil murmured into Bard’s neck.

“I know.”

“And you’re right. I am scared. I’m so scared.” Thranduil’s grip around Bard’s waist grew tighter as he grasped the thin fabric of the brunette’s shirt.

“There’s nothing to be scared of.” Bard said comfortingly. “Nothing at all.”

“I wish that were true.”

“It is, darling. Just trust me. You mean so much to me.” He peppered light kisses all over the top of Thranduil’s head, ignoring his own tears for the time being.

“I know, and that’s what scares me. I don’t deserve someone like you.” Thranduil sighed deeply and Bard felt his lips pressing against the skin of his neck.

“You deserve the world.” Bard assured him, hoping Thranduil would believe his words.

“Bard…”

“No, Thran. It’s true. You deserve someone who will love you for who you are, someone who will comfort you when you’re sad and someone that will support you through everything. I want to be that person, if only you’ll let me…” Bard trailed off, feeling a little overwhelmed by his own declaration.

“I want to, but I don’t know how. Maybe I’m not ready.”

“Take your time then. I’m not going anywhere. I want to be with you, I mean it. I’ll be here for you no matter what.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry. Why are you sorry?” Bard asked, reaching up to brush his fingers through Thranduil’s hair. Thranduil grabbed at the elastic holding his hair into a bun and pulled it out, letting his hair tumble down over his shoulders.

“I always say such horrible things. Things I should never say. Things I can’t take back.” Thranduil said, voice shaky and unsure.

“Shh, sweetheart, it’s alright. I understand. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I want to open up, I really do. I want to let you in.”

“And you can. Just do it on your own terms. I would never force you.”

“Bard…”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you so perfect?” Thranduil said, nuzzling his head deeper into Bard’s shoulder. Bard could almost feel the beginnings of his smile.

“I’m not, silly. I just…feel things for you, things I can’t even explain. I want to give you everything I can.”

“I feel those things too.” Thranduil began tentatively. “I just need you to show me what to do…how to act…”

“We’ll do it together. If you really want me, I’ll be yours forever.” Bard proclaimed, never feeling more certain of anything in his life. He loved Thranduil, loved him with all his heart and he would do whatever he could to make sure Thranduil knew just how special he was.

“I want you. I want to be yours.”

“Then let’s get up off the ground and go inside, yeah?” Bard smiled, happy to know that Thranduil actually did feel the same way.

“Okay.”

“C’mon.” Bard said, kissing Thranduil’s head again, as he pulled the blonde up with him. He cupped his hands over Thranduil’s cheeks, rubbing his thumbs over the flushed skin as he looked deep into those icy blue eyes. Thranduil blinked at him a few times, surrendering to his soft caresses, a small smile turning up the corners of his pouty lips.

“Thank you, Bard.” Thranduil sighed, reaching up to grasp Bard’s hand in his own before pressing a light kiss to Bard’s knuckles.

Bard entwined his fingers with Thranduil’s and led the blonde inside, never letting go of his hand as they made their way to the couch and sat down.

“Can I tell you something?” Thranduil asked with pleading eyes.

“Of course.”

“So I said I wanted to open up to you. So let me try.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Never in all my life. You make my heart do funny things and honestly…I just… I love you.” Thranduil said, his words coming hurriedly.

Bard smiled, feeling a wave of happiness wash over him, erasing all his previous feelings of self-doubt. “I love you too, Thranduil.”

“I think I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you at the hospital.” Thranduil confessed, squeezing Bard’s fingers tightly, his eyes tearing up again, despite the huge smile on his pretty face.

“Don’t cry, baby.” Bard said, pulling Thranduil into a warm embrace and kissing away the tears that rolled down his pale cheeks.

“These are happy tears.”

“Good. I love you.” Bard smiled. He couldn’t stop himself from saying it again. It felt so right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH! This left me drained.   
> Next chapter will be very romantic ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also johnnysmitten on tumblr, so come say hi! :)


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